


You're my tattoo (A permanent, infinite love)

by Tibeetatam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Boarding School, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:22:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 47,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2561183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tibeetatam/pseuds/Tibeetatam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis meet at boarding school when they're 16/18, and they fall in love, it ends badly.<br/>They meet again later, both in the music industry, Louis is a songwriter and Harry is a music artist, and they fall in love again, are still in love.<br/>Niall plays football, Zayn is an artist and Liam is one of Britains' biggest music artists.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan-fic and it's for green_feelings because she made Empty Skies.  
> Please don't copy, that's not nice. (Plagiarism is bad)  
> Giggleswick Senior School is a real school in the North of England, but you can't take all i've written about it as fact.  
> All song lyrics in this fic are my own original lyrics.  
> This is fiction, none of it happened.  
> All mistakes are my own.

Part one

“Are you feeling alright?” Harry Styles’ mum Anne asked him. He could feel her beside him, could feel her worry.

“I’m fine mum, you don’t need to worry.” Harry answered wanting her to be ok about him starting year eleven at boarding school.

That’s where they were now, Giggleswick Senior school. It was in the rural area of Yorkshire Dales, an hour from Manchester and an hour and forty five minutes from his home in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire.

“You’re my baby, I can’t help but worry.” Anne said leaning in closer to him and bumping their shoulders.

They were sat in the entrance foyer of Nowell house with the rest of the lot that had arrived today. It was well after 4pm, the arrival time and the numbers of pupils was dwindling. Harry and Anne had opted to wait and let the others go first. Though it hadn’t been spoken Harry knew that they were both enjoying the last of their time together for a while.

Harry looked down at his school uniform he was wearing, the black blazer with red vertical stripes, grey trousers, white shirt, school tie and black V-necked jumper. He had a moment of disbelief that he was actually here.

Harry had chosen Giggleswick from some other schools in the north of England from the internet. He hadn’t really told anyone that he was looking at schools and when he found Giggleswick the name had made him smile and then laugh at loud and he knew that it was the school he wanted to go to.

“I love you.” Harry said.

“I love you too.”

Harry looked around the room and noticed that there was only a small number left. Harry stood and stretched and then caught his mums’ eye. Anne smiled fondly and then stood too.

They walked closer and soon they were officially the last ones to check in. Harry stepped closer to the woman and seeing her up close he could see that she was pretty. She had fluffy chestnut coloured hair and navy blue eyes. She smiled at him when she saw the two of them there.

“Hi, I’m Caroline Flack. I’m the Nowell house matron. Welcome, I take it you are a new pupil? What’s your name?” She looked down at her clipboard briefly and Harry spoke.

“Hi, my name’s Harry Styles.”

“And, I’m Anne, Harry’s Mum.”

Caroline shook both their hands giving them a big smile. “I’ll just look here on my list to find you…” Caroline said trailing off. Harry and Anne looked at each other and smiled. “Oh yes, here you are Harry Styles… Hmmm…. It says here that you requested a single room…”

Anne held out the papers in her hand. “Yes, that’s right. I have the details right here.”

Caroline looked up and noted the papers and then looked back down at her clipboard in concentration. It was then that Harry wondered if something was amiss. He decided to voice his thoughts.

“Is something wrong?” He asked.

“I think so… it really is quite strange.”

“Yes?” Anne asked.

Caroline finally stopped looking at the clipboard and let her right hand that was holding it fall to her side and she looked at them.

“I can see that you requested a single room and that that request was granted, however, and I don’t understand how this could have happened, but there are no single rooms left. I am looking and looking at this.” She said holding the clipboard up again. “But I can see that I have already checked in the last single room. Maybe just wait here and I’ll go and talk to the house master.”

With that she gave them a nod and told them to take a seat and that she wouldn’t be long, then she turned and left the room.

Harry and Anne looked at each other not quite sure what had just happened but they did as they were told and sat back down in the seats they had recently vacated.It was getting dark outside and Harry knew his Mum had to get going soon. The two of them didn’t really talk but Harry leaned closer and laid his head on Annes' shoulder.

They heard footsteps approaching a while later and when they saw Caroline appear with a young man beside her they both stood up.

Caroline and the man met them and Caroline introduced them to Olly Murs. He had a friendly face with brown hair and blue eyes. He reached out his hand shaking first Annes' hand and then Harry’s.

“I’m terribly sorry about this mix-up. It really is quite strange, stranger still that I’ve heard that there is a U6 form boy from Paley house with the same situation. Requested a single and there not being one and there not being any spare beds in the shared rooms either. There must have been something gone awry. Rest assured though that we’ll sort this out. In the meantime we’ve found a temporary solution. We’ve phoned Paley house and the U6 form boy is on his way over here. There is a room that was occupied by a member of staff but she will not be here this year, you two boys can share that room tonight and we’ll organize a re-shuffle in the morning and get you boys a permanent room. How does that sound?” Olly looked at them apologetically his face kind.

“I think that will be ok for tonight.” Harry said slowly. He felt some sort of comfort that it wasn’t just him that was going through this, that he wasn’t completely alone. Olly looked relieved.

“Ok then, I’ve got to get going. The other boy should be here soon and Caroline can show you to the room. Sorry again.” He said offering them a smile and then he left.

Caroline looked at them.  
“Yeah, shouldn’t be too long. Do you have any questions you want answered while we wait?” The three of them stayed standing and Anne asked a question and Caroline answered.

Harry was listening at first but then he started looking around the room again. It was because he was looking around that he noticed the two new people enter the building first. As they got closer Harry could see that it was a young boy and a woman. As they got closer still Harry could see that the boy was the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. His hair was a soft dark brown and his fringe was laid across his forehead. He had high cheekbones and lovely blue eyes. Even though his mouth was set into a frown he looked beautiful and Harry was in awe. He was wearing the school uniform but his blazer was plain black without the red vertical stripes.

Caroline saw them and called them over. “Hi, you must be Louis Tomlinson and Jay.” Harry looked at the woman beside the beautiful boy and knew she must be his mum.

“That we are” Jay said. Louis didn’t say anything and after looking at him for a moment Caroline started talking.

“Ok, so…” She said and then was interrupted.

“I can’t believe this! This is preposterous. This had better be sorted by the morning.” Louis said. Harry dared to look at him, the first time he had let his eyes leave Caroline or his Mums face since the two of them had joined them. Louis looked angry, like he had more to say.

“Louis, be nice.” Jay said and Louis just shrugged but didn’t say anything else.

“Ok, so, I can show you...” Caroline said again and this time she was interrupted by her phone. She took it out of her pocket and looked at the screen. Her phone had been buzzing on and off since Olly left but this was the first time she had taken it out of her pocket. “Sorry, I won’t be a minute.” She walked away and Anne turned to Harry.

“I’m going to get going darling. You’ll be alright won’t you? Caroline will show you the room and everything will get sorted in the morning?”  
Harry nodded. “Yes, I’ll be fine.” They told each other ‘I love you’ and then Harry saw Caroline walk back over to them and Anne told her she was going.

While his Mum and Caroline had parting words Harry saw that Jay was telling Louis she was heading off too. He heard her say to him.

“It’s just a little mishap. Be nice, I’m sure everything will work out.” Harry watched Louis’ face and the frown that had been there from when he walked in was replaced with a smile that reached his eyes. He seemed to relax a bit when his Mum put her arms around him and pulled him in for a hug. Harry looked away, the moment seemed private.

“I love you Mum.” Harry heard Louis say.

“I love you too Boo Bear.” Jay’s quiet voice said, muffled by lips close to Louis’ shoulder, but Harry heard it and he smiled.

“Tell the girls I love them too.” Louis said.

“I will.” Jay said and then she stepped closer to Caroline saying her good byes.

Then Anne stepped away from Caroline and Caroline turned to the boys.

“Let’s go then shall we?” She said.

Anne smiled at Harry and he smiled back. He stayed standing where he was as he watched his Mum smile at him again before turning to leave. He watched as she and Jay walked out together talking to each other. Harry could hear Caroline say that it was just down this way but Harry was in his own thoughts. His Mum leaving made him starting boarding school feel very real. He mindlessly reached out his hand to put it on the handle of his suitcase and then just rested it there.

“Are you coming Harry?” Harry heard Caroline say.He looked up and saw that both Caroline and Louis were standing in the doorway across the room both looking at him. Caroline looked confused and Louis looked amused. Harry felt a little bit embarrassed but nodded and made his way over to them, his head down.

Caroline started walking when Harry had reached them and the three of them walked down the hallway. They walked in silence and now that no one was looking at him Harry looked up, keeping his eyes on Louis’ back. They passed a few other boys in the hallway and as they passed rooms with their doors opened Harry peeked inside.

They made it to a closed door, the last one in the line of doors. Caroline opened the door and then stood aside making room for them. Then her phone buzzed again and she completely got out of the way and stepped back in to the hallway.

Louis walked in first and it wasn’t long before Harry was walking into the back of him because Louis had stopped.

“Uugh.” Harry said reaching out his right hand to Louis’ shoulder trying to re-balance himself. The sudden closeness and the solid warmth under his hand distracted him for a moment.

“Unbelievable.” Louis said, he hadn’t moved or acknowledged what had happened behind him making it easier for Harry to recover. Harry was standing up-right again but had yet to see what Louis had.

“What?” Harry said finding his voice. Louis took a step forward and Harry peered around the shorter boy.

The room was not very big. It had a centered fireplace on the wall to the right and a little desk straight ahead on the far wall, a window above it. Caroline came and stood in the doorway then and Louis, who had walked all the way into the room, towed his suitcase back with him as he walked over to Caroline.

“So not only do I not get a single room in Paley house and not only do I have to come over to Nowell and share a room with a stranger.” Louis’ eyes left Carolines’ for a moment and rested on Harrys’ giving him a shrug. Then he faced Caroline again and continued. “I also have to share a bed?!”

Harry looked at the offending furniture in the room, a queen-sized bed in the middle of the room the head of it against the wall opposite the fireplace. On the other wall was a small wardrobe, Harry continued his inspection around the room with his eyes. He hadn’t moved far from the doorway. Caroline looked past Louis and then sighed looking back at him.

“I’d forgotten… erm, it’s just for one night, I’m sorry Louis, really. I have to go now though.” She said her phone buzzing again. Louis kicked his suitcase in a small display of protest but Caroline just left.

“Well then.” Louis said. He wheeled his suitcase over to the bed and sat down on the end of it, taking out his phone from the pocket of his trousers.

Harry didn’t know what to do. If this was his proper room he would be unpacking right now, but it wasn’t so instead he unzipped his suitcase and took out his book. Then he sat at the little desk and began reading. It seemed the two of them had done all the talking they would do for now.

It wasn’t long before Louis’ voice broke the silence. “It’s time to eat.” He said.

Harry put down his book and saw that Louis was looking at him curiously.

“What?” Harry asked.

“What what?” Louis said smirking.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Louis got up and came over to the little desk and sat on it. He picked up the book Harry had just sat down.

“Are you reading just for fun?” Louis asked incredulously, flicking through the pages. “Charles Bukowski?” He read from the cover.

“Yeah, so? I like reading.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you do curly.”

Harry was surprised that Louis had looked at him long enough to notice he had curly hair. He pouted but really he liked this cheeky Louis better than the disgruntled, sullen one.

“Are we going to tea yet or what?” Harry said standing up. He felt more himself; he hadn’t liked the hint of animosity between them. It wasn’t his fault that they were in this situation. Louis jumped down from the desk and rushed forwards to get to the door first, then turned around looking at Harry.

“I think the better question is, are you coming to tea?”

Harry just smiled and walked over to the door following Louis out.

They walked to the dining hall and Harry was glad to have Louis next to him because he really wouldn’t have known where to go otherwise. Louis smiled and said hi to a few boys they passed and Harry could see that Louis really was quite friendly and maybe his behavior over the room mix-up was not his usual demeanor.

Harry felt himself fonding for the other boy.

When they reached the dining hall they walked through the dark wood double doors and Harry slowed down to look around. It was a layout not too different from the dining hall at Hogwarts and he was instantly charmed.

He was so engrossed in taking it all in that when he re-focused he saw that Louis was looking at a group of boys who were waving to him.

“I’ll see you later then I suppose.” Louis said and headed over to his friends. Harry watched as he fist-bumped a lad with a round face and rosy cheeks.

Harry realized he’d been looking too long and needed to work out where to get the food from first and then where he would sit.

He joined the queue he could see forming and tried to read the menu printed on a piece of paper stuck to a glass wall which had some food on the other side of it. It was Wednesday today so it was beef goulash with herb dumpling and grilled garlic topped tomatoes and duo of peas. For a treat he would have fruit jelly. He liked the choice of food and when he was at the head of the queue he ordered his food and not long later he was handed a tray with his tea.

The first part was done and now he had to choose where to sit. He was a little offended that Louis had ditched him but he knew that it wasn’t as though Louis had to look after him. After tonight they probably wouldn’t see each other again anyway.

Harry saw a table that had some empty space on the bench and made his way over. One of the lads sat there with ginger hair looked up and slid over a bit making room for him.

“Hi.” Harry said affably. “Is it ok if I sit here?” Harry was a little nervous because they could say no but Harry seemed to have a knack for making friends so he hoped he still hadit.

“I’m sure it is mate. Are you new here?” The ginger-haired boy asked. Harry sat his tray down on the table next to the ginger-haired boy and then stepped over the bench and sat down.

“Yeah, my name’s Harry.”

“I’m Ed and this is Jade and Jesy.” Ed said pointing across the table to two girls sat there. The two girls smiled and said hello. Harry smiled and said hi back. He picked up his glass of water and took a sip. The girls were eying him curiously.

“So, Harry, what year are you in?” Jesy asked as she picked up her fork and put it in her own beef goulash.

“Year eleven.”

“Oh yes the GSCE’s at the end of the year. We’re all the same then.” Jesy said and Jade nodded.

“What house are you in?” Jade asked looking at Harry. She looked like a little elfin princess but without the ears.

“Nowell.” Harry said taking a bite of his beef goulash. “Mmm this is good.”

“Yeah, the food here isn’t so bad.” Ed agreed.

“What house are you guys in?” Harry asked after he had chewed and swallowed.

“Nowell too.” Jesy answered. Harry sat quietly then and listened to them chat. He looked around the room, not necessarily to spot Louis, but then yes, to see if he could see Louis. The room was too crowded though so he was just generally looking at the other students.

“I’ve just finished a new song.” Ed said. That made Harry swivel his head back to where he was sitting.

“Do you write songs?” Harry asked eyes wide.

“Yeah mate, I do.”

“You look like the cat that got the cream.” Jesy noted.

Harry looked sheepish. “Yeah, it’s just that I came to Giggleswick hoping to meet people that were into music.”

“Well you’ve certainly found one here in Ed.” Jesy said. Harry looked at Ed who shrugged.

“Music is a language I speak.” Ed said.

“Where are you from then?” Jade asked

“Holmes Chapel, Cheshire.”

“Yeah?” Jade said looking interested.

“Yeah, it’s picturesque but kind of boring. I decided that I really wanted to be a singer/songwriter so I had to get out of there so I could start making it happen.”

“So you write too?” Ed asked.

Harry really hadn’t eaten much of his meal yet so he took another mouthful, swallowing before answering. “Yeah, I play some guitar and have notebooks of ideas. I am still learning really.”

They didn’t get to have more conversation because the head master had stood up from his spot where he’d been eating and moved to the front of the dining hall. A silence ensued throughout the dining hall and Harry too turned to face the front.

“Good evening everyone.” Simon Cowell said. A chorus of ‘Good evening Mr Cowell’ followed and Harry smiled. It was just like at primary school.

Mr Cowell continued giving what Harry thought was what he thought was his perquisite for the first evening of the new school term. It was a lot of the basics, things Harry had previously read in the information about the school he’d been sent in the post.

Mr Cowell did talk for a while and Harry noticed he was getting tired. While he hadn’t done much that day, the anticipation and nervousness about starting here had been tiring. He was looking forward to going to bed that night. Then he remembered he had a room-mate and he sighed wondering what it would be like.

Ed nudged him with his elbow and Harry discreetly turned his head. Ed moved his head side-to-side in a ho-hum kind of way and Harry gave a nod.

Finally Mr Cowell stepped down after dismissing them for the night. Conversations rose around the hall and the noise level increased.

“So that’s Mr Cowell.” Ed said. “He’s alright.”

Harry finished eating and the four of them decided they would meet up the next day for breakfast. They all stood to take their trays to the place where they would sort out their dishes and then Harry told them he would go back to his room.

They said goodbye and then Harry walked back to Nowell. He walked slowly trying to re-trace the steps Louis and he had walked earlier. There were lights either side of the footpath and overhead light from the tall lights. He heard footsteps behind him and prepared to step to the side to let whoever it was past.

“Harry?” Although Harry had only heard that voice a few times this evening he already recognized it as Louis’. Harry turned around to see Louis catch up.

“Hi Louis.” The two of the walked side-by-side for a few strides and then Louis said,

“Are you heading back to the room?”

“Yeah, I’m tired. I thought I could have an early night ready for the first day of school tomorrow.”

“So conscientious are you then Harry?”

“Be quiet.” Harry said fondly.

The two boys walked into the Nowell house and back to their room. This time when they opened the door it felt familiar. Louis walked in first and Harry followed. He went to his suitcase to get out his toiletries ready for his shower. He had loaded up his stuff when he noticed there was a door he hadn’t seen earlier.

He walked over to it to see what was on the other side. When he opened the door he could see that it was a bathroom. Her stepped in and looked around; it had a sink, a shower and even a bath. This room was turning out to be quite a treat. Harry hadn’t been looking forward to shared bathrooms. Then he had to remind himself that this was only for tonight.

“Hey Lou.” Harry said, the shortened name coming out without him thinking about it. Harry stepped back out into the room. Louis looked up from where he was sitting on the end of the bed some papers in his hand. He noticed the open door behind Harry and looked excitedly at Harry.

“Is that what I think it is?” Louis said dropping the papers to the bed and getting up bounding over to have a look.

“Yep, we have our own bathroom.” Harry said following Louis in there.

Louis looked around and then gave Harry a high-five before walking back out and Harry stayed in there. Harry sat his toiletries on the vanity and found a towel in the cupboard in there, getting one out for Louis too. He hung Louis’ on the towel rack still partly folded then he went about having a shower and brushing his teeth.

When he emerged from the bathroom sometime later he found Louis sitting on the end of the bed still. “I got a towel out for you, it’s on the towel rack.” Harry said. Louis looked up and nodded. Harry put his uniform on top of his open suitcase and then walked closer to see what Louis was reading.

“Ha! Who’s conscientious now?” Harry said plopping down beside Louis. Harry leant closer and took the paper out of his hand.

“Hey!”

“You’re reading what the curriculum is for this term.” Harry noted. Louis snatched it back but not before head-butting Harrys’ shoulder lightly.

“You know, I was thinking if it’s weird for you, us sharing a bed I mean, I could sleep on the floor.” Louis said. Harry looked at Louis surprised. Louis was looking down at his lap, his fingers flicking the crease in his trousers.

“What? No, I don’t mind. I know I don’t want to sleep on the floor and I don’t want you to either because of me. I say we share. The bed looks big enough for both of us.”  
Louis smiled at him, the crinkles appearing in his eyes. Louis looked really pretty like that and Harry started to wonder if sharing a bed would be a good idea after all.

It was only for one night Harry reminded himself. It would be fine.

‘Yeah, ok then.” Harry stood up from the bed and walked around Louis to the head where the pillows were.

“Which side do you want?” Harry asked.

Louis turned around from where he was sitting and pointed to the right side and Harry started to pull back the covers. Then he noticed that they hadn’t closed the curtain over the window. He walked over to the window passing Louis’ suitcase. It was still standing upright, the handle still up and one of the front pockets unzipped leaning against the end of the bed.

Harry pulled first one curtain across and then the other one. On his way back to his side of the bed he reached out his hand to put it on the handle of the suitcase. He wasn’t quite watching what he was doing and his hand connected with another one on the handle. Louis looked up from the curriculum and Harry looked back to in front of him.

They made eye contact both surprised and then slowly removed their hands.

“Sorry.” Harry spoke first. “I was just going to lie your case down against the wall.”

“Yeah, ok. I was just going to put these papers back in.”

Harry left him to it and returned to his side of the bed. He hopped into bed and lay back against the bed head. He watched Louis zip the front pocket shut and then move his case over to where Harry was going to put it. Then Louis got out his toiletries and disappeared into the bathroom.

Harry reached over and turned on Louis’ bedside light and then got up and turned off the main light. He hopped back into bed and snuggled in. It was warm and cosy. He was still awake when Louis came back out and felt the bed dip slightly as Louis got in. Louis leaned over to look at Harry, Harry felt him and he smiled at Louis.

“Good night Curly.” Louis said moving back over to his side.

“Good night Lou.” Harry said as Louis turned off his bedside light.

The next morning Harry woke up to the alarm he had set on his phone the night before. He reached out his hand and turned it off. Then he looked over to Louis’ side of the bed and saw that it was empty. Harry sat up and looked towards the bathroom but the door was open. It seemed Louis was not there. Harry frowned.

Last night he had roused twice and both times he could feel his foot against Louis’. He didn’t know if that was because of him or the other boy. Harry had moved his foot back to his side anyway both times. It seemed like another rejection now with Louis already left and Harry knew how ridiculous that was.

He got up and made the bed and then walked over to his suitcase to get his things. He saw that Louis’ case was still there. It was zipped shut and standing up, like it was ready to go. Harry got dressed in his uniform in the room with no need to care about privacy. He brushed his hair and then left for the dining hall.

He was glad he had made plans to eat breakfast with Ed, Jesy and Jade. He was starting to re-think his desire to have a single room. He realized he liked having company and just now getting up and getting dressed in an empty room had made him feel lonely. He hurried his steps looking forward to seeing his new friends. He walked into the dining hall and joined the queue. He was going to have porridge, a banana and a cup of tea. He made it through the queue and then headed in the direction of where he had sat for tea the night before. That’s where he found the other three.

“Good morning.” Harry said sitting down next to Jesy.

“And to you.” Jesy said kissing his cheek.

“How come I didn’t get a kiss?” Ed asked.

“Oh come on then.” Jesy said standing up and leaning over the table to kiss Ed on the cheek.

“Thank you.” Ed said. Harry just smiled at the exchange and started eating.

The four of them talked about the classes they had that day and found out they had the same English, maths and biology classes and Ed and Harry were both taking music. Harry was also doing German and home economics. While they were sitting there Harry was half-expecting Caroline to appear to tell him his new room arrangement. But she didn’t show up.

When they were finished eating they took their trays to the sorting area and when that was done they walked back to Nowell to brush their teeth and get their things they would need for school. They separated in the entrance foyer and Harry walked to his room. He was kind of hoping that Louis would be there but after looking around Harry could see that Louis wasn’t there and hadn’t been back since Harry had left for breakfast. Harry quickly brushed his teeth and picked up his back pack and went to meet the others in the entrance foyer.

Harry enjoyed his classes and all the while he was waiting for Caroline to come and see him. At lunch he enjoyed his slow-cooked pork with apple sauce and roast gravy and roasted root vegetables and steamed kale. He had stopped thinking about expecting Caroline sometime in the afternoon. It wasn’t until after he had spent time in the library doing his homework with Jade after school and had said good bye to her that he remembered and didn’t know where to go.

He made his way back to Nowell, to Carolines’ office and knocked on the door. “Come in.” Harry heard. Harry opened the door and stepped inside. He looked over to where Caroline was sitting at her desk. She had several piles of papers stacked up and she seemed busy.

“Hi, erm, I wanted to talk to you. Is now a good time?” Harry asked.

Caroline gestured to a seat in front of her desk. “As good as any I suppose.” She said waving her right hand over the piles of papers on her desk. “Things are quite busy.” Harry nodded.

“So, I wanted to know if you have sorted out the room thing yet?”

Even as he said it Harry knew that the answer was no. His suspicions seemed to be confirmed when Caroline stood up and went to one of the piles flicking through them. She pulled out some of them from near the bottom and that’s when Harry could see that his and Louis’ room situation wasn’t high on her priority list. After all both boys had a room now, somewhere to sleep. In a way, the problem was solved.

Caroline sat back down in her chair, she was looking at the top paper. “It really is quite strange and I don’t think it has happened before. We are usually so careful… Anyway, enough about that. The answer to your question is that no, the re-shuffle hasn’t happened yet. How about you give me a few days to work on it? I’m sure we can work this out.” Harry nodded and stood up to leave.

“Thanks.” He said and shook her hand.

He walked back to the room and couldn’t help but wonder what Louis would have to say about all this. When he opened the door he could see Louis sat on his side of the bed leaning against the bed head, he was holding a notebook and a pen. Harry walked in closing the door behind him. Louis looked up.

“Can you believe this?” Louis said. It was strange to see Louis again. Harry had started to think Louis was an apparition, that he had imagined there had been another boy in this room with him last night. Louis didn’t wait for an answer and got to his knees. “I saw my house master today, from Paley, and he said that although they had tried to sort out a re-shuffle, it just wasn’t going to happen. He said it was physically impossible. Ha! I’ll show him physically impossible.” Louis lay back down again with a sigh. “He said that I had to stay at Nowell.”

Harry walked over to the bed and sat down on the foot of it facing Louis. “I just saw Caroline and she said she needed a few more days.”

“What is this? What conspiracy is this?” Louis said loudly. Then looked up at Harry, smiled and said more softly. “I mean honestly.” Harry smiled back and then moved to be mirroring Louis leaning on the bed head.

“Yeah, honestly.” Harry said. Harry took out his phone from his pocket and texted his Mum saying his first day was good and that he missed her. They text back and forth and then it was time for tea.

Louis and Harry headed to the dining hall together and like last time Louis left Harry to go and eat with his friends and Harry went and sat with his.

It had been a week since Harry had started at Giggleswick, a week since he’d met Louis. It was a week because of the first night being Wednesday and then there had been the weekend. Harry thought he should go back to see Caroline, to see if she had worked something out. Harry hadn’t wanted to make too much of a fuss about it because of him being new and not wanting to make tracks. Louis was making enough noise about it for both of them really, so if there was going to be a solution they would have one. Now though, even Louis hadn’t said anything much about the ‘lack of proper organizational skills this school has’ in a while.

At this point Harry almost wanted her to say she needed more time. He knew that he wouldn’t like a single room now and was really not bothered about their situation. Even the bed thing was ok. He liked Louis’ company and even now that Louis would be staying at Nowell there was no reason they would see each other anymore once they were separated.

As it was, they didn’t see each other much anyway. Louis always came back to the room late in the afternoon, sometimes not until after tea and then they saw each other for a short time in the morning. Regardless the small amount of time they saw each other in the evening was nice and they would talk a bit about their day. Harry would miss him if all of this was sorted out.

Harry stood at the door of Carolines’ office. The door was ajar and just as he was about to knock he heard her voice, she was on the phone. He peeked around the door and could see her desk still had piles of papers stacked on it like before only this time the piles were a bit smaller.

Harry sighed and stepped back behind the door, she hadn’t seen him. His intention was to wait outside her office until she got off the phone but then he just kept walking. He had homework to do anyway. On his way back to the room he let himself wonder for the first time what it would be like to stay in the room they were in now. He wondered what Louis would think.

He walked through the door and saw that Louis was not there, Harry was not surprised. He went over to the wardrobe to get a coat hanger for his blazer. He had just finished kicking a football around with Ed and he wanted to have a shower before tea.

Louis and Harry had both started to use the wardrobe to hang up their clothes because they were getting quite wrinkled in their suitcases. It had been Harrys’ idea actually, to hang their clothes up. Harry smiled at Louis’ clothes hanging there next to his.

After his shower he stepped back in to the room and saw that Louis was there. “How are you Harold?” Louis asked. Louis was sitting at the little desk and looking at Harry.

“Good, I went and saw Caroline today.”

“Oh yeah...” Louis looked surprised. “How was it?”

“I didn’t get to talk to her, she was on the phone.” If Harry wasn’t mistaken Louis looked a bit relieved and that made Harry feel his own relief.

“I suppose things will happen how they should. It is what it is.” Louis said.

“It is what it is.” Harry repeated. Harry wondered if they were both thinking that they wouldn’t do anything more with the situation. If Caroline came up with two single rooms in Nowell for them then they’d move but if not they’d both be ok about staying where they were. Harry also wondered if Louis was hoping that things would stay like they were, the way Harry was.

Later that night the two of them were sat in bed leaning against the headboard. Louis had his laptop on his lap and Harry was reading but periodically looking over at the screen. Louis was watching an episode of the X Factor UK.

Even though Harry couldn’t hear it, his eye kept being drawn over there. Maybe it was because of his interest in singing he didn’t know.

“Do you want to listen too?” Louis asked. It took a second for Harry to realize that Louis was talking to him because he was still looking at the laptop screen. “You might enjoy it more if you could hear it, you never know.”

Louis turned his head and that’s when Harry realized how close he had gotten. Louis’ head was now close to Harrys’ face. They made eye contact and then without Harry saying anything Louis averted his eyes and leaned forward unplugging the head phones. Noise filled the silence and Louis turned back to smirk at Harry who had straightened himself back up. “Come on then.” Louis said and patted the spot beside him.

Harry put the book mark in his book and scooted closer so their shoulders were touching.

“Thanks.” Harry said and they sat side by side watching the X Factor. Harry liked how occasionally Louis would voice his thoughts on the contestants and Harry wondered how he was able to keep it inside and not say anything out loud before.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't copy, that's not nice. (Plagiarism is bad)  
> I don't know the football season, it might be wrong.  
> All song lyrics are my own original lyrics.  
> This is fiction, none of it happened.

School life at Giggleswick was a combination of laughs with Louis in their room, meal and class time with Ed, Jesy, and Jade and some jamming with Ed in the music room. Harry was settling in well and he was thinking Giggleswick was the right choice.

Louis still spent a lot of his time at Paley house and he told Harry about his friends he had there. Louis was funny and Harry could see that he loved his friends and being put in Nowell away from them must be hard. The two of them were getting to know each other and they were becoming friends. Or really, they were becoming better friends. It seemed that from that first night they had just clicked.

Just that morning Harry had woken up and became aware that he and Louis were holding hands. It was like they’d reached out to see if the other was there, found that they were and then not wanting to let go. It wasn’t the first morning that had happened and it wasn’t unusual for them to wake up snuggled close to each other.

They would always just slowly untangle themselves say good morning and act like it was all perfectly fine, which it was, Harry didn’t want to think about it too much. He didn’t know if Louis knew that Harry liked boys and he didn’t even know if Louis was the same.

Harry was on his way back to his room after his last class of the day. He remembered the present he had in his back pack and felt shy about it. He slowed his steps and wondered what Louis would think.

In his home economics class earlier in the day they had made a chocolate pudding and Harry had thought of Louis and decided that he wanted to share his serve with him. He had put his piece in a bowl and took another bowl and two spoons, he would return them next class.

He started walking faster again, a smile on his face. Louis would appreciate it Harry was fairly certain.

When he got to their room he put his backpack on the bed and took out the bowl and was pleased that the pudding hadn’t slopped all up the sides. He was expecting Louis to be here soon, he had footie practice after school that day and usually came back to the room to drop off his school bag and get his PE kit. Harry had been in the room at this time on this day enough times to know that’s what Louis did.

Harry spooned out half of the pudding and put it in the other bowl and then sat down on the end of the bed, putting both bowls next to him. Louis came in then already loosening his tie.

“Hi Lou, I have a surprise for you.” Harry said. Louis pulled his tie all the way off and walked closer.

“A surprise Harold?” Louis looked excited. Then he noticed the bowls next to Harry. “What do you have there Harold?” Harry picked up one of the bowls and handed it over to Louis.

“It’s a chocolate pudding. I made it myself.”

“Did you now? Aren’t I a lucky little chap?” Louis walked closer and sat next to Harry on the end of the bed and Harry picked up his bowl.

Louis dipped his spoon in and scooped up some of the pudding and put it in his mouth. He exaggeratedly closed his eyes and moved his mouth around. Harry took a mouthful of his own while he waited for the verdict. Harry thought it tasted quite good and finally Louis opened his eyes and looked at Harry.

“I quite like that it is moist and the chocolate sauce is a nice thickness.” Louis grinned. “My H is a good little baker.”

Harry grinned back. “Thank you Paul Hollywood.”

“That’s Mr Hollywood to you.” Louis said elbowing him in the arm and then taking another mouthful.

Harry elbowed him back and then it became a shoulder-to-shoulder nudge. Then it became Louis bumping Harry every time he went to take a mouthful and them both giggling.

Finally they had both finished eating and Louis looked at the time on his phone and realized he was nearly running late. He quickly changed in their bathroom and then came back out walking over to Harry who had gathered up their bowls and sat them on the little desk.

Louis kissed Harry on the cheek and said thank you for the pudding then he dashed out the door. Harry picked up the bowls and spoons and carried them in to the bathroom to rinse them smiling on the way. He just liked being in Louis’ company, he was very charismatic.

He liked it a lot, maybe something more.

++++  
Louis had a smile on his face as he walked quickly from their room. Harry making him pudding was so unexpected and sweet but also it didn’t surprise him so much. Harry was so lovely that it seemed just like the sort of thing he would do. Louis kept hurrying to the footie pitch and there he met Stan, his best friend.

He had met Stan when they had both started secondary school at Giggleswick. Stan was a great lad to have a laugh with and get in trouble with. Louis was glad they were both on the school footie team because it meant they could spend more time together. That was more important now to Louis because of him being in Nowell now. Louis hugged him when they were close enough and Stan handed him a football.

“Where have you been?” Stan said getting a drink bottle out of his bag.

Louis felt himself smile and only partly tried to hide it. He ducked his head and put the football on the bench. Then he put his left foot on the bench next to it and pretended to need to readjust the tongue of his shoe. Louis felt a hand on his shoulder and then a cheek against his cheek. Louis turned knowing it was Stan and put his foot back on the ground. Louis made eye contact and then picked up the football.

“I was in my room, Harry made me pudding.” Louis said and juggled the ball on his foot.

“How nice of him.” Stan said smirking.

“Shut up.”

The coach called the team over then and Louis put the ball down and he and Stan went to join the others.

Louis was glad for the distraction. He had told Stan and his other friends too about Harry, of course he had. At first when Louis was moved to Nowell he had been disappointed that he wasn’t spending his last year in Paley with his friends. It wasn’t long though, before Louis didn’t want to stop being Harrys’ roommate.

He couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if they hadn’t met that first night. He couldn’t imagine not seeing Harry at night both of them brushing their teeth or hearing Harrys’ voice saying good morning to him.

He just quite liked that boy.

++++  
Harry was still in the room when Louis came back from footie practice before tea. Harry was sat at the little desk doing his biology homework. He had been so focused all afternoon with intent to work hard because he wanted to do well at school.

When Louis came in it took a second for Harry to come out of his own biology world. Louis laughed at him when he saw his face.

“You okay there love? Do you need me to tell you where you are?” Louis put his gym kit down and grabbed his uniform ready to head to the shower.

“Hey.” Harry said a bit too slowly. It made Louis laugh again.

“Wait for me and we’ll walk to tea together?” Louis asked. This time Harry was quick to respond.

“Ok.” He said and heard Louis muttering to himself as he went in to the bathroom and shut the door. Harry only heard ‘it might just be the end of me.’  
Harry smiled. Louis just seemed to be able to make him do that.

Not long later Louis came out of the bathroom all clean and fresh and ready to go. Harry closed his biology books and stood up stretching.

“All ready then?” Louis asked and opened the door letting Harry out first.

They walked into the dining hall and both of them joined the queue. There was the usual noise of everyone talking over their food and it was all so familiar, even the boy behind him was familiar.

They got their food and then Louis surprised Harry by saying to come over with him and meet his friends. Harry partly hesitated and then Louis grabbed his arm and pulled him, so Harry didn’t really make a decision.

They got to the table where Louis and his friends sat and Louis stayed standing next to Harry. Louis introduced him to Stan, a round faced lad with rosy cheeks that Harry recognized as the lad he’d seen Louis fist-bump on his first night here. Stan stood and smiled at him.

“Oh yes, Louis’ boyfriend.” Stan said. Harry felt a bit embarrassed and two other boys sat at the table snickered.

“Shut it you two.” Louis said and then said to Harry, “He’s joking.” Louis then introduced Harry to them, they were Jon and Sandy. Louis put his tray down next to Stans'.

Harry liked meeting Louis’ friends and for the moment that those words were said, of him being Louis’ boyfriend, it sounded so good to him. They were words he hadn’t really let himself think about. He realized now that being Louis’ boyfriend was what he wanted.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” Harry said and Stan sat back down. “I’m going to go over to my friends now.” Louis squeezed his elbow and the others said it was good to meet him too.

Harry walked over to where his friends were and sat down. During his meal his mind was back over at the other table. He was probably thinking too much into it, but it seemed like Stan calling him Louis’ boyfriend and the others reaction to it seemed so normal.

Louis had acted as though it was perfectly normal for him to be linked to a boy. He hadn’t appeared to be surprised by the insinuation that he had a boyfriend. It had all seemed so good-natured. It made Harry wonder if Louis was gay and was out, at least with his friends.

He wondered though about Louis saying Stan was joking. He thought it was probably Stan just having a laugh, calling him Louis’ boyfriend and didn’t mean anything by it. But Harry couldn’t help thinking that there could be more to it.  
If it was about Harry not being Louis’ boyfriend, which he wasn’t, that sort of implied that Louis and Stan had talked, and that Louis had said there wasn’t anything with him and Harry. And that maybe there wouldn’t be. Or maybe he was joking about Harry being Louis’ boyfriend, because that wouldn’t happen, because Louis was straight.

“What are you thinking about Harry?” Jade asked. Harry brought his mind back to his table.

“What do you know about Louis Tomlinson?” Harry asked. Jade looked confused and then her face perked up.

“Anything in particular you want to know?” She asked. Harry dug his fork into his food and took a mouthful.

“Ok.” Jade said when Harry didn’t answer. “He’s really fit, but you probably know that already since you share a room with him.” Harry blushed and Ed snorted.

“He’s an ace football player. He’s the team captain, everyone likes him.” Jesy said.

“You probably really want to know if he’s single though, is that right?” Ed said, a teasing sound to his voice.

“I wouldn’t say that exactly…” Harry said.

The three of them knew that Harry liked boys, he’d told them not long after he met them, when they were talking about their past relationships. Harry had had a girlfriend a few years ago but that had fizzled out and then Harry had liked his friend Johnny. The two of them were together until not long before Harry had left Holmes Chapel to come here to Giggleswick. They had realized that their friendship stopped at friendship and didn’t go into relationship. They were still friends though.

“Well, anyway. I think he is. Just in case you do want to know, and I think he likes boys. I think I heard that.” Ed said, some of the teasing gone.

“Thanks.” Harry said quietly.

It was all getting a bit much. He didn’t really know if it was a good idea to like Louis. He had already seen that Louis was well liked and now hearing Jesy say just that, made Harry feel like Louis wouldn’t be interested in him. He was two years younger and Louis would be graduating at the end of the year. It just didn’t seem like a good idea.

It was becoming clear to him that he had spent quite a bit of time thinking about this.

After they had finished eating and taken their trays to the sorting area the four of them walked back to Nowell together. They decided to meet in the common room because Ed wanted to play them his new song. While Ed went to his room to get his guitar Harry and the girls sat on the floor their backs leaning on the lounge. There were a few other kids around sat in groups talking and Harry stretched out his legs in front of him.

“I have a crush too.” Jade admitted.

“Yeah?” Harry said looking at her.

“Yeah, he’s in my religious studies class, his name is Calum.”

“He’s really cute.” Jesy added. “He comes from Australia.”

Harry nodded. “Do you talk to him?” He asked Jade.

“Yeah, we’re friends. I don’t know if he likes me back though.”

“Yeah, I know what that’s like.” Harry said and the three of them laughed.

Ed came back carrying his guitar and joined them on the floor. He started to tune his guitar and strum a little, the other three watching him. Then he started playing, the chords filling the space between them. Harry was in between the girls and the three of them cuddled up. Eds’ song made Harry excited about his career choice and he became more determined to make it happen.

On Saturday morning at Eds’ suggestion the four of them decide to go to the football game. Harry had been adamant with them that he didn’t want their ‘help’ in setting him up with Louis. They said that that wasn’t what it was and that Ed had been wanting an excuse to go to a game. They promised they would stay out of it but Harry didn’t know how far that went.

So the four of them were sat on a bench to the side of the field waiting for the game to start. There were other spectators and there was a bit of an atmosphere. Harry was excited to see Louis play and looked for him now on the field. He and his other teammates were doing some exercises and Harry kept his eye on number 28, it was hard to look away anyway.

It was a bit cold and the four of them were wearing their coats, huddled close together. When the referee blew his whistle signaling the start of the game Harrys’ heart beat with anticipation. It was amazing really how when Louis ran Harry would feel slightly out of breath and if another player touched Louis, Harry felt it in the same place on him.

Amazing and kind of amusing and weird.

At the end of the game the four of them stayed sitting and watched as the two teams packed up their stuff and hugged each other. Giggleswick had won and Harry was proud of Louis, he really seemed to know what he was doing.

Soon there weren’t many spectators left and most of the players had gone on their way. Harry realized that Louis was going to have to walk past where the four of them were sitting and so Harry would have to say something. He stood up when he saw Louis start to head in his direction. Louis seemed to sense eyes on him and looked up.

“Hi.” Harry said. He could feel the other three stand up and join him. Louis came closer and Harry could see Stan not far behind him.

“Hi.”

“Great game mate.” Ed said. Harry introduced the two of them and then Stan came over and Harry introduced them all to each other. Ed held Stans’ attention and the girls joined their conversation leaving Harry and Louis standing together.

“So yeah, you played well.” Harry said.

“Thanks Curly, let’s start walking, I’m cold.” Louis said and Harry nodded. Then Louis turned to the others. “We’re going to get going.”

Harry turned to look at the other three and could see Stan showing Jesy how to juggle the ball on her foot. Louis didn’t wait for an answer and turned back around.

Their hands brushed and Harry felt how cold they were. He reached out and took Louis’ hand, holding it between both of his.

“You have cold hands Lou. I’ll help warm them up.” Harry said when Louis turned to him questioningly. Louis smirked.

“Ok then.” He said. Harry kept hold of Louis’ hand completely covering the other boys one and put his other hand in his pocket. They walked back to Nowell like that and Louis didn’t let go even when they stepped into the warm entrance foyer.

When they got back to the door of the room there was a moment when Harry was trying to open the door with one hand and then Louis said “How about I help you out here?”  
Harry thought that Louis was going to let go of his hand but instead Louis put his free hand up to the door handle and helped Harry open it. “There we go, teamwork.” Louis said.

The two of them walked in and Harry let go of Louis’ hand going into the bathroom and turning on the heater. When he came back out Louis was taking off his football boots.

“You go and have a warm shower Lou, you don’t want to catch a cold.” Louis looked up from where he was sat on the bed.

“I think you just read my mind Harold.” Louis finished taking off his boots and took his phone out of his bag and put it on his bedside table. “Ok then, I’ll be having a shower.” Louis said and went into the bathroom.

When Louis was gone Harry took out his notebook that he wrote song lyrics in. There were ideas in his head and he wanted to write them down. He wrote,

 _‘I said something to you when I took your hand,_  
_I don’t know if I know what it was,_  
_Did you say something to me when you let me?_  
_Were there words between us invisible in the air?’_

He stopped writing to think when he heard Louis’ phone ring. He looked over at Louis’ bedside table where his phone was and saw the screen lit up.  
He looked back down at the page of his notebook where he was writing.

 _‘It could be something special’_ he wrote.

Then he sat there letting his mind wonder. Not long later Louis came out of the bathroom wearing track suit pants and a Giggleswick jumper, his hair wet and uncombed.

“You’re phone rang.” Harry said watching Louis put his kit in the dirty clothes bag. “Do you feel better?” Harry asked. Louis came over to the bed and shook his wet hair at Harry.

“Much.” Louis said and Harry laughed. Louis went over to where his phone was and picked it up. “It was Stan.” Louis said. “He sent a text too, wanting to know if we got back to the room ok. Cheeky bugger. I’ll tell him we did just fine.” Harry watched as Louis smiled into his phone while he typed. “What are you doing today?” Louis asked.

“I think I’ll just be here doing some study and homework.”

“Well aren’t you a boring sod.” Harry threw a pillow at Louis who was now sat on his side of the bed his back to Harry.

Louis turned around his eyebrows raised. Then he picked up the pillow from behind him on the bed where it had landed after hitting Louis in the back. Quick-as-a-wink he threw it back at Harry. Harry shut his notebook and put it on his bedside table the pen on top. Then they both looked at the pillow on the bed, they eyed each other and then both lunged for it at the same time.

Harry got to it first but just barely and they both lay on their stomachs their hands both holding the pillow. Louis then wriggled closer and put his wet hair into Harrys’ neck. Harry squirmed and let out a squeal of protest and then Louis let go of the pillow and burrowed his head closer to Harry. Harry tried to pick up the pillow and use it to block Louis but Louis just took it down.

Harry had his eyes closed because some of the droplets were going into his eyes and when he opened them he was able to take hold of Louis’ hands and noticed again the way they just fit well in his own hands. Harry was able to sit up a bit and hold both Louis’ hands in his own.

“I don’t think that’s very fair.” Louis said pouting.

“I think it’s just right.” Harry said and lowered their hands to rest on top of the abandoned pillow, loosening his grip.

“Fine, should we say that I win?” Louis asked looking impossibly cute with his hair now more dry and a bit fluffy and he looked soft and cuddly in his tracksuit. Louis pulled one of his hands free and pushed some hair from his forehead.

“Yeah, you win.” Harry said anything to keep him happy. Louis didn’t disappoint and his face was covered in a smile that reached his eyes. He leaned forward and kissed Harry on the cheek.

“Thanks love.” Louis said and then scooted off the bed. “I’m going to meet Stan, we’re going to watch some films in his room. You can come if you want.” He offered putting his phone into his pocket, looking hopeful. Harry nearly jumped off the bed and ran to the door but as much as he wanted to spend more time with Louis he knew he shouldn’t.

“Thanks, but I’ll just stay here.”

“My hard working boy.” Louis said smiling fondly as he headed to the door. “I’ll be back later.” He said and then he was gone.

Harry stayed sat up leaning on the bed head smiling stupidly to himself. Louis really was the smiliest, dearest boy. Harry reached over and picked up his notebook and pen again. He looked at the words again, they were just ideas for now and maybe he could put them in to a song later. He wrote,

 _‘I want to always feel like this,_  
_I want to always see your smile,_  
_I want that smile to always be at me.’_

He shut the notebook and put it back on his bedside table and stood up stretching, he really did want to study today. He took a sandwich from the pocket of his coat that he had taken from breakfast and sat it on the little desk along with his books and pencil case.

He worked steadily for a while and then went for a quick walk around outside, it really was too cold to be outside though so he didn’t stay out long.

He was sat back at the little desk when Louis came back close to five. He took off his coat and laid it on the chair near their fireplace.

Harry turned around to see the other boy. Louis said hi and said “Won’t be long.” And he went into the bathroom and Harry started to close his books. He was finished with school work for the day. When Louis came back out of the bathroom Harry was standing up making a pile of his books.

“Sorry, I was really busting.” Louis said.

Louis sat down on the end of the bed and looked at Harry. Before Harry could ask what he was thinking Louis spoke. “I saw Caroline just now.” Harry let his hands leave the books and turned around. “I passed her in the entrance foyer. She apologized for not having gotten to the room-shuffle yet. She asked if we were alright, If we were coping alright.” Harry stood with his back to the little desk, his hands in front of him. “I told her we were ok and if it was ok with her we didn’t mind staying where we were.” Harry braced himself for what might come next.

“What did she say?” Harry asked.

“She looked relieved to be honest. She said as long as we were both ok with it she was too. We’ve saved her some work Harry.” Louis said with a cheeky smile. Then he said more seriously, “Is that ok? We don’t mind staying together do we?”

Harry laughed, relieved and wrapped his long arms around Louis.

“I’d say we don’t mind at all.” Harry felt Louis’ shoulders shake as he laughed too and then he stood up, Harry still holding on to him. Louis put his arms around Harrys’ waist and they hugged tightly.

“You’re ridiculous.” Louis said fondly.

The next day after Chapel Harry was standing with Ed in the entrance foyer of the church waiting for Jade and Jesy who had gone to the toilet. There were other kids walking past and heading outside into the cold day. “It’s alright innit?” Ed asked.

He was asking Harry about going to the music studio that afternoon, after lunch and playing some of his songs, and work on some of Harrys’ ones.

“Yeah, ok.” Harry said putting his hand on Eds’ shoulder. “That sounds good.”

Harry was distracted then by some lads approaching. They were mucking around with each other and Harry recognized Louis’ voice. Louis was on Stans’ back and Jon and Sandy were poking him. A teacher walked up behind them and told them to knock it off. Louis jumped off and then looked up and saw Harry watching. Louis looked a bit sheepish but kept his big smile on. He redirected his steps to head to Harry and the other three boys with Louis saw Harry then and followed.

“Hi Harold.” Louis said.

“Hi.” Harry said and then introduced the three boys that hadn’t met yet.

“Do you want to eat lunch with us?” Louis asked and put his arm around Stans’ shoulders. “We’re going there now.” Ed and Harry looked at each other and nodded.

“We’ll meet you there, we’re waiting for the girls.”

“Ok then.” Louis said and let himself be turned around by Stan who put his arm around him. As Louis passed Harry he reached out and squeezed his hip, catching Harrys’ eye over his shoulder and the two smiled. When they had gone Harry looked back to Ed and saw him already watching.

“What is this thing between you guys?” Ed asked. Ed was smiling like he was mulling over something.

“We’re friends.” Harry said and then they were joined by Jade and Jesy.

“We’re eating lunch with Harrys’ _friend_ and his friends.” Ed said and reached out a hand to Harrys’ elbow and then his other to Jesys’. Harry did the same to Jade and they started walking, heading out of the chapel.

“With Louis and his friends you mean?” Jade asked as they walked down the few stone steps to the footpath.

“Yes.” Harry answered her.

A gust of wind blew and the four of them shivered in their line. They didn’t walk faster though. A few students passed them, hurrying to get out of the cold. Harry started skipping until Ed told him he was not going to skip, so Harry went back to walking. They talked about the service that morning and not long later they were at the dining hall.

They joined the queue and chose from the brunch menu. Ed admitted he liked hash browns and made sure to take some. Harry led them to where Louis and the other three were already sat and Louis made room for them. More introductions were made and the four new ones sat down.

“Do you know what I love?” Stan said.

“Why don’t you tell us?” Louis said cutting some of his egg and bacon and taking a mouthful of it. Stan delayed answering and stole some bacon from Louis’ plate.

“I suppose you love taking my food, is that what you were going to say?” Louis asked.

“I was just going to take the bacon and let my actions be my words, but yes, I do love taking your food. You’re good at sharing aren’t you?” Stan said and then Louis reached over to Stans’ plate and took some of his hash brown and then leaned over Sandy to dip it in the Hollandaise Sauce on Harrys’ plate.

Harry who had been listening to their conversation let out a surprised “What…?” and Louis grinned taking a bite of the hash brown.

“Sharing is caring.” Louis said and Harry laughed. Harry turned to Sandy next to him and they started talking. Soon Harry had learned that Sandy played the bass and Jon played the keyboard. Jon, who was across the table talking to Jesy looked up when he heard his name.

“You both should come to the studio this afternoon with Ed and I. We’ll be working on some of our songs.” Harry said beaming.

“Yeah, it would be interesting to know what sound a bass and keyboard would give to the songs.” Ed said.

“Ok, I’m in.” Sandy said and Jon was quick to agree too. The four of them looked pleased and then one who was not quite as pleased piped up.

“What about us then? Is it only for the elite?” Louis said. Harry looked around Sandy to see Louis. He was looking at Harry in a pout.

“Of course not, you.” Harry said and then looked to Jade, Jesy and Stan. “And you three.” He said to them. “Can come.”

“Thank you.” Louis said leaning back again, seeming to be placated.

They finished eating and took their trays to the sorting area before bundling up and heading out into the afternoon. The two groups were mixed up and Harry and Louis walked together. Louis hip-bumped him and Harry who wasn’t expecting it tipped to the right, nearly losing his balance. Before he could fall far a strong hand was on his arm and righting him. Harry turned to the left, looking into Louis’ amused eyes.

“Thank you?” Harry said.

“You’re welcome?” Louis said mirroring Harrys’ intonation. Harry took Louis’ elbow and they walked side-by-side in the middle line of the group.

They got to the music studio and kind of all tumbled in. They all separated going to different areas. Ed went to the shelf and took off their sheet music that was still there from Friday when Ed and Harry had been there. Sandy went to where the school had a bass and picked it up strumming a bit and Jon went to the keyboard plugging it in.

Ed gave a copy of a song to Louis, Stan, Jesy, and Jade, who were sat on a lounge that was near the wall. Harry picked up one of the guitars and Ed picked up another. They both sat on stools facing each other and their knees touching. Sandy who was over standing behind Jon then came and sat on a stool on the other side of Ed.

It felt good to Harry to have these people around him. He looked up and over to Louis who was sat between Stan and Jade. He seemed to sense that Harry was looking and he looked up giving Harry a thumbs-up. Harry smiled and then they all started playing.

They got used to each other as they played along and Harry was impressed at how fast Sandy and Jon picked it up. Harry started singing and Ed did harmony. Harry got immersed in them going back and repeating some parts and Ed and Harry working on some little note changes.

At one point Harry remembered there were four people on the lounge in the room and he looked over to them. Only now they weren’t all on the lounge. Louis was standing behind the lounge leaning over Stan who was lying down his head on the arm rest. Stan was trying to pull Louis over by one arm and Jesy and Jade were pulling his other arm.

Then Jade started tickling him and Louis squirmed and then was pulled head first over. He landed on Stan who attempted to sit up so he could sit on top of Louis. When he had accomplished that the girls piled on and Louis was waving what he could of his arms and legs, eventually wriggling enough that he got out from under Jade who then plunked down onto the lounge cushion instead of sitting on him.

Harry was smiling at them, he couldn’t help it. Louis’ playful behaviour was so lovely and fun and he liked to see Louis happy. Harry focused back on his guitar still smiling to himself. He got lost again in the music and when they finally came to the end of a song Ed, Harry and Sandy put down their guitars and got up from their stools and went over to stand with Jon at the keyboard.

“You guys are so good!” Harry exclaimed, feeling like they had all just accomplished something great.

It felt powerful to have words he had written become a song with other instruments filling it with different sounds and notes. To take a melody that he had heard in his head, then replicated it on his guitar and then shared with others, playing it out loud and hearing it fill the room was magical.

“It was fun.” Sandy agreed. Harry went back to his guitar to put it away and the other two followed and did the same and Jon unplugged the keyboard.

“I don’t know about you lot, but I am ready to get out of my school uniform.” Stan said.

“And here I was thinking it was a lovely look on you.” Louis said. The other four were all standing up and Stan tackled Louis back to the lounge.

“Ok, let’s go.” Louis said standing back up.

The eight of them gathered together at the door and Ed turned the light off and they all walked out. It was quite a bit darker now and their flushed faces enjoyed the cool air. They separated into two groups and Harry went with the ones heading to Nowell. Louis and Harry said bye to Ed, Jade and Jesy in the entrance foyer saying they’d all meet up again for tea.

Back in their room Harry took off his coat and watched Louis do the same. “Oh, that was so fun.” Harry said. “Why didn’t you tell me they were so good? They really picked it up quickly didn’t they? And didn’t it sound good with the keyboard and bass?”

Louis was rummaging in the wardrobe and just uttered an ‘mmm.’ He turned around holding a clean track suit and seemed startled to see that Harry was just standing not too far behind him.

“Yeah, they were good.” Louis said. “I’m going to go and have a shower.”

Louis walked past him without another word and went into the bathroom shutting the door.  
Harry was confused, wondering if Louis had just acted strange with him. He had seemed fine in the studio and on the walk back, maybe he was just tired. Harry knew that he, himself was.

In bed later that night, Harry reached across the space between them looking for Louis’ hand.

After Louis had had his shower they had chatted a bit and then both texted their mums.’ He had seemed better but still a little quiet. At tea, there was still a bit of distance between them but was probably only noticeable to Harry.

He found Louis’ hand and put his hand in his. “Alright babe?” Harry asked. In response Louis moved closer and snuggled up against Harry.

“I am when I have you.” Louis said sleepily and then Harry heard him fall asleep. Harry put his arms around the other boy and was glad to have the warm, soft lad of Louis in his arms.

“What is this Harry?” Louis asked out loud, waking Harry up.

He was standing at the window looking out with a frown on his face. Harrys’ eyes were open but it took longer for him to come out of his sleep. He’d been dreaming about Louis and him at Harrys’ graduation. To him that was a sign of commitment, that they would make it work. That even though Louis would be graduating at the end of the year, leaving Harry at Giggleswick for another two years, they could still be together and Louis would come to Harrys’ graduation.

Harry slowly sat up looking at the beautiful boy.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked, his voice rough from not being used for the last few hours.

“It’s raining.” Louis dead-panned. Harry smiled at the disdain on Louis’ face. Louis turned from the window and scowled at Harry.

“It’s not funny Harold.”

“No, of course it’s not.” Harry said and Louis came over to Harrys’ side of the bed.

“Good, just so you know that.” Louis reached over and put his hand in Harrys’ hair, tangling his fingers in there. Harry leaned into his touch instinctively, it might have been because he liked having his hair played with or it might be the boy. It was safer to say the former, so he went with that.

“A great day to stay in bed, I’d say.” Harry said.

“Hmm?” Louis said. Harry turned and looked at Louis who seemed to be lost in thought. Harry took advantage of that and put his hands on Louis’ hips and pulled him forward so he fell on the bed. He landed half on top of Harry with a soft thud. They both jumped a little at the contact and then had to catch their breath. Louis raised his head from where it was on the bed near Harrys’ knee to look at him.

“Now, you could have just asked for me to hop back into bed, you know, I would’ve.” Louis said and squeezed the knee near his cheek. Harry leaned down and removed his hand, that might have been a ticklish spot.

“I did, but it seems you were a little distracted?” Louis scooted up so his head was on Harrys’ pillow behind him.

“Come here you.” Louis said pulling on Harrys’ elbow. Harry lay back down and the two snuggled close together.

“Why did you get up so early anyway?” Harry asked sleepily.

“Had to wee.”

They both went to sleep again and when Harry woke up next it was to his alarm. Harry reached over to his bedside table and picked up his phone silencing it. He held it in his hand for a moment before putting it back on his bedside table. He looked down at the sleeping boy beside him and tried not to close his eyes again. Louis moved slightly and spoke without opening his eyes.

“It can’t be time to get up yet. I don’t want to get up yet Harry.” Harry traced his finger over Louis’ eyelids making them flutter. Louis swatted his hand away but Harry did it again.

“You’ve got lovely eye lashes Lou.” Harry said. Harry could see Louis make a face and then Louis finally opened his eyes.

“You’re a menace Harold.”

“A lucky menace.” Harry said grinning and tapped Louis on the nose.

They stayed in bed a bit too long and when they finally got up they had to hurriedly get dressed and get ready. They walked to the dining hall for breakfast together and joined the queue. It wasn’t very long, them being some of the last ones to eat. Harry chose some cereal, a banana and a cup of tea and smiled when that was what Louis chose too.

Harry followed Louis to his table and found Ed, Jesy and Jade already there. It seemed this was their new table.

“Oh, so the boyfriends have finally made it to breakfast then.” Stan said.

Louis sat down next to Ed and Harry sat beside him, Stan was sat on the other side of the table. “We were just debating who should go and check on you lads but it seems none of us wanted to do it. We didn’t want to see something we couldn’t un-see.”

Louis must have kicked Stan in the shin because Stan winced and leaned down to rub his leg.

“For your information we just happened to stay in bed too long. Now what if there was something proper wrong? We’d have been suffering in there alone all because you lot are afraid to see something…wonderful.”

“Wonderful? Yeah…” Sandy snickered and Stan laughed out loud.

“Ok, point taken. But still, just be here on time will you? So we don’t have to sit here wondering.” Stan said.

Louis shrugged and then took a sip of his tea. He turned to look at Harry and Harry was just sat there listening to it all. Harry brought his tea to his lips and caught sight of Ed looking at him past Louis. Harry just shrugged and then put his tea back down and picked up his spoon.

He had taken a few mouthfuls before he realized that Louis hadn’t said that the two of them weren’t boyfriends. That they wouldn’t be likely to walk in on them doing something they wouldn’t want to see because they were just friends. Harry didn’t say anything believing that no-one at the table was taking the banter seriously anyway.

The banter changed to another topic and Harry continued eating, his elbow brushing Louis’ every time he lifted his left arm to pick up his tea. When they had finished eating and taken their trays to the sorting area they separated to go back to their rooms to brush their teeth and get their bags. Ed walked beside Harry and the two of them chatted about the biology homework.

Back in their room Harry and Louis both shared the sink in the bathroom brushing their teeth. Mostly shared, because Louis tended to push Harry out of the way. Harry was good at just pushing him back now and they both jockeyed for room at the sink. Harry would let Louis win, just because. Harry enjoyed their domesticity and he was continually thankful that he didn’t have a single room this year after all. And more thankful to have the roommate that he did.

“What is it H?” Louis asked through the darkness in their room. It was the first week of December and the time until then had gone rather quickly to Harry, a lot had happened.  
They were lying in bed and it was late. Harry had been watching the digital clock on his bed side table for ages. He hadn’t been able to go to sleep yet. Harry stayed silent.

“Can’t you sleep?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, sorry if I woke you up.”

“It’s ok.” Louis was quiet then, “Is everything ok?” He asked. Harry was lying on his back looking up at the ceiling, though he couldn’t see it.

“I don’t know.” Harry said finally and looked over to where Louis was lying. Louis scooted closer.

“Talk to me babe.” Their faces were close now, Louis on his side and Harry on his back.

“I think I might be homesick.” Harry said and saying it made Harry feel tears in his eyes. Louis reached out and found Harrys’ hand under the blankets.

“Yeah, that feeling sucks. The first time I felt homesick here it was awful. It still is now, when I feel it.” Harry smiled, not sure why and Louis traced his finger over his smile and then poked his dimple making him smile more. Then Harry started to cry.

“Oh babe, it’s ok, come here.” Harry wiped his eyes with the side of his finger and moved closer. He put his head on Louis’ chest and Louis put his arms around him. Louis kept his arms there holding Harry close while Harry cried into his bare chest.

When Harry had quieted down a bit Louis put one hand in Harrys’ hair and started playing with it. “Stan and I both cried.” Louis said. Harry lifted his head to look at Louis. Louis nodded, confirming it and Harry put his head back down. “You’ll be ok, it gets better.” Louis said.

“Yeah?” Harry said into Louis’ chest.

“Yeah, it does.”

They stayed like that for a while and then Louis moved his arm that Harry was lying on and made for Harry to roll over. Harry did and Louis came close behind him, his arm around Harrys’ waist. Then they went to sleep like that.

In the morning when Harry woke up they were facing each other and Louis had his eyes open, looking at him. Harry looked back into his eyes as he started to focus. “Did you sleep well?”

Harry remembered the night before, feeling sad and Louis being there to hold him.

“Yeah.” Harry said and smiled. Louis smiled back and then they just looked at each other. Harry reached up a hand and moved some of Louis’ fringe back on his forehead. Louis stayed still letting him, keeping his eyes on Harrys’

“Thanks for what you did last night.” Harry said.

“You’re welcome H. Now, we had better get up so we don’t ruin their breakfast.”

Harry would rather pull Louis to himself and tell him how wonderful he was while he held him close. That wasn’t going to happen though, since it seemed that they were just friends and friends didn’t do things like that. Louis moved back and sat up, putting his legs over the side of the bed and standing up. Harry rolled over and tried to gather his thoughts.

It would be Christmas soon and he’d be going back to Holmes Chapel. He was looking forward to seeing his Mum, step- Dad and sister. It was just that with Christmas came only two more terms following until Louis graduated. Harry tried not to think about it, didn’t tell Louis what he was thinking.

At least Christmas would be a lovely distraction from the boy who was right now humming to himself as he got his uniform out of the wardrobe and laid it on the chair near the fireplace and started to get dressed. They didn’t worry with privacy anymore. Too many times they had walked in on each other changing that it wasn’t worth even trying to get privacy.

Harry sat up and then got up. He turned back to the bed and began smoothing out the bottom sheet before pulling up the blankets and tucking them in.

“Do you know what I really want to do?” Harry heard Louis ask from behind him. Harry turned around and Louis continued. “I want to nose-dive onto the bed. But I know that would un-do all your efforts, so I won’t.” Louis looked so smug standing there that Harry walked forwards and took his hand.

“Just this once I won’t mind.” Harry said.

Louis grinned at Harry and then pulled on his hand. They both ran towards the bed and flopped down on it on their stomachs. They stayed there kicking their feet into each other and then Harry got up. He looked down at Louis lying there and then looked at the time. They had to get moving so they wouldn’t be late for breakfast. Harry pulled Louis up by his hand and smoothed out the bed before going to get dressed.

They walked into the dining hall together and quickly made in through the queue and sat down with their friends. Stan only gave them a raised eyebrow and Louis and Harry both just smiled at each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't copy, that's not nice. (Plagiarism is bad)  
> All song lyrics are my own original lyrics.  
> Thank you green_feelings for the German. XO  
> This is fiction, none of it happened.

Harry went home for Christmas. He took the train back to Holmes Chapel and his mum met him at the station. When he saw her he realized how much he had missed her, missed being here.

He hugged her tight and then she pulled back to look at him. “I know it’s only been three months, but you do look taller. You look happy too darling, are you happy?” Harry put his arm around his mum and his other hand on his suitcase and they started walking.

“Yeah, I’m happy.” Harry said.

They walked to the car and Harry told her about Giggleswick and he was pleased that she was asking him about things that he’d told her. It was like she went there too and they were talking about mutual things. When they got back to the house and walked inside Harry was met by his sister Gemma, in a hug.

“Whoa, you have grown. You’re still my little brother though.” His step-Dad Robin came around the corner then and Harry hugged him, it was good to be home.

At tea that night Harry was sat at the table with his family when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He and Louis had finally got around to exchanging mobile numbers that morning before they’d left Giggleswick. Harry had a feeling that it was a text from Louis now. He felt the smile on his face at the thought of him.

“What are you smiling at?” Gemma asked. She was sitting opposite him and she looked amused. “Did you meet someone up there did you?” She asked.

Harry took another mouthful not knowing if he wanted to tell them about Louis. He wouldn’t know what to say anyway. About the boy he shared a room with, the boy that even right now after only just seeing him this morning, he already missed.

“Yeah.” Harry said surprising himself. He’d just admitted it so he thought he may as well tell them. “His name is Louis Tomlinson, we share a room.”

“Oh yes, the boy we met on your first night.” Anne said. “He seemed nice. Handled the situation quite well, given what it was.”

“Yeah, he’s nice.” Harry said thinking that was a massive understatement. Louis was loads more than just nice. “He lives in Doncaster, South Yorkshire.”

The conversation moved to something that had happened in Doncaster recently and Harry started to feel his phone burning a hole in his pocket. After tea and Harry had helped pack the dishwasher he was sat on the lounge in the lounge room waiting for Anne, they were going to play scrabble. Harry took his phone out of his pocket and saw that it was a text from Louis.

_‘Hi babe, did you make it home ok? I did, I was nearly smothered by my sisters, not that I mind  :) What are you doing? X’_

Harry texted back. _‘Hi babe, yes, I got home ok. Give your sisters a kiss from me. I’m about to play scrabble with my mum, wish me luck. What are you doing? XX’_

Anne came into the lounge room then and Harry put his phone on the coffee table in front of him and got up sitting on the floor opposite the lounge and his Mum sat where he had been. Gemma and Robin came in then carrying mugs of tea and Gemma gave him his.

“Thanks.” Harry said and started to take the scrabble board out of the box while his mum took out the bag of tiles. Gemma and Robin were sat in arm chairs nearby both with books.

Harrys’ phone buzzed and Anne looked at it, then up at Harry.

“Are you going to get that?” She asked. Harry picked up his phone and read the text from Louis.

_‘I’m ‘helping’ to decorate star biscuits. Apparently I can only use the green sprinkles. Good luck with scrabble. X’_

Harry told Anne about Louis and the star biscuits and then Harry text back. _‘Send me a pic? I want to see :) XX’_

Not long later Harrys’ phone buzzed again with another message. When Harry looked there was a photo and a text. The photo was of a smiling Louis with a smiling, shorter, pretty girl with long pale-blonde hair and blue eyes. They were sitting at a table with the biscuits sat on a wire cooling rack in front of them.The text said _‘This is me and Daisy. I think we did good. X’_

Seeing Louis on his phone screen made Harrys’ insides ache for the other boy and he wasn’t prepared for it, probably couldn’t be. It was hard to have a photo but not have the real boy. Harry sent back loads of smiley faces and kisses. _‘:):):):):):):)XXXXXXXXX’_ Then he showed Anne the photo before putting his phone back down on the coffee table.

He had to distance himself from his phone to try and save his sanity. Harry focused on the game and ignored his mums’ subtle glances. She knew that he would talk about it when he was ready.

To be honest it was such a precarious situation to be falling for his roommate. It was getting harder to be around him but he knew that he would rather have Louis as his friend than to not have him at all.

Later that night Louis text him again and Harry off-handedly wondered if Louis was trying to break him, not unlikely, and Louis thought Harry was the menace, Ha! Harry was lying in bed after having just had a shower. He actually looked to his left as if Louis was lying there like he would be if they were at Giggleswick.

Instead Harry looked at his phone and read, _‘Sleep well love. Try not to miss me too much :)X’_  
Harry smiled imagining Louis in his own bed in his home in Doncaster with his phone in his hand texting him. Louis was very close to the truth in his text and didn’t even know it. Them being apart for the holidays was the first time they’d been apart since they met in September.

Although Harry didn’t like the separation now, he knew that it was necessary. If only for him to re-learn being without Louis. It was slightly scary to Harry to realize just how attached he had become to the other boy. In July it was going to hurt, a lot. That was still months away though, so Harry thought he really needed to stop thinking about that and think instead of how lucky he was to have met Louis in the first place.

Harry text back _‘I’ll try, but it will be hard, Ha! Sweet dreams baby. XXX’_

The next morning was Christmas Eve and Harry woke up slowly looking around his childhood room. He saw the books he had loved when he was younger sat on his book shelf, saw the hats and such hanging on the hooks on the back of his door. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He pushed back the blankets and let his bare feet touch the floor. He stood up and went over to his window and looked out. There was snow on the ground and Harry was excited about going outside later and playing in it with Gemma.

Harry made his bed and then pulled on a tracksuit and made to walk out of his room when he stopped and went back to his bedside table and picked up his phone that was there. He sat on the edge of his bed and typed in a message to Louis. _‘Happy Birthday my favourite boy. Hope it’s wonderful. :):)’_

Harry had slipped a present into Louis’ suitcase unnoticed the morning they had left and Harry wondered now if Louis had found it yet. Harry put his phone back on his bed side table and finally left his room and went to the kitchen.

“Good morning mum.” Harry said kissing his mums cheek and giving her a hug. “Happy Christmas Eve.”

“Thank you darling, and to you. I’ve made some pancakes, why don’t you make the tea?”

Harry went about boiling the jug and getting the mugs when Gemma came in. She looked at him briefly and said, “You know, I think I want to feel as happy as you look.” Harry poked her in the arm and she moved out of the way. Robin was already sat at the table and the rest of them joined her, with Anne bringing over the plate of pancakes.

“Today, I think I’ll finish up the wrapping and then I am going to bake some gingerbread.” Anne said. Harry still had to wrap his presents and the thought of presents made him think of Louis. He really needed to try not to think of Louis in everything.

After they had finished eating and cleaned up Harry and Gemma rugged up in their coats, beanies, scarves, boots and gloves and went out the back door to the garden. Harry ran forward and scooped up some snow that was on the outside table.

“Hey Gem?” Harry said but she was already watching. He threw it at her anyway and she turned, it hitting her in the back. Harry walked out further to the grass and started running, looking behind him as he went to see his footprints. The two of them had a snow ball fight then and when they had got considerably wet they lay down in the snow and made snow angels.

“You really like him, don’t you?” Gemma said, more a statement than a question. Harry stopped moving his arms and answered.

“Yeah, I do. I think it’s hopeless though Gem. He’ll be leaving at the end of the year and I don’t think he likes me like that anyway. I don’t see him treating me differently to the way he treats his other friends.”

“That sucks but cheer up H, he’s the one that’s missing out. Don’t worry so much.” She smiled wryly at him and he screwed up his nose thinking.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” He sighed. “But I’d still be missing a lot too though.”

They stayed chatting a bit longer, until the adrenaline from them running around earlier in their snow ball fight had left them, and they started to get cold. They went inside and Harry could hear some Christmas carols playing through the speakers.

Anne was in the kitchen and she made some hot chocolate while Gemma and Harry took off their wet things. Then the four of them went into the lounge room and watched a film. Harry was sat on the lounge next to Anne and they were sharing a blanket, the fire in the corner was making the room warm and cosy.

Harry stayed with his family for the rest of the day, only going back to his room briefly to get the presents he had bought in Settle one Saturday. He and Louis had walked there and gone shopping together, and there was the mention of Louis again.

Harry sat on the floor in Anne and Robins’ room with the wrapping paper and the sticky tape and ribbon. He hummed along to the carols he could hear through the door. When he was finished he put everything away and carried the presents out to the tree.

After he had eaten tea and had a shower he hopped into bed and finally allowed himself to look at his phone. There were two texts from Louis. Harry went to the earlier one first and it was a reply to Harrys’ Happy Birthday text.

 _‘Thanks H, I’m sure it will be wonderful. X’_ The next text made Harry smile more and he knew his dimples were showing.

 _‘I can’t believe you darling! Thank you, you sneaky boy. I love them. :)XXX’_ Harry had bought Louis some Spiderman socks and matching pants the same day they had been in Settle together.

After Christmas and Harry and Gemma had gotten back from visiting their dad Harry was helping his mum to make some sandwiches for lunch with some of the leftover meat. When they were finished making them the four of them sat at the table and ate.

The Christmas holidays sped by with Harry spending time with his friends Johnny and Will and they had gone sledding. He and Gemma had gone out to lunch a few times and Robin and him had had a few good talks and he and Anne had played scrabble and taken photos of Dusty, their cat.

On the morning of Harrys’ return to Giggleswick Harry felt a bit sad to be leaving his family. He said good bye to Robin and Gemma at the house and Anne took him to the station. On the platform the two of them stood and looked at the boarding times.

"I love you Harry. I’m glad that you like Giggleswick and that you are happy there.”

“Me too mum, I love you too.” Harrys’ train arrived then and the two of them hugged before Harry wheeled his suitcase over to the train and got on.

It was a fairly quick ride and before he knew it he was back at Giggleswick. He walked through the school to Nowell and made his way inside and to his room. When he opened the door it was dark inside and Harry turned on the light.

Louis wasn’t back yet, that Harry knew and he walked in and closed the door behind him. He lay his suitcase down and took of his coat. It was Sunday evening and there was school tomorrow so Harry started to get his books together for the next day. The door slowly opened and Harry looked up seeing Louis stood there in the doorway, his suitcase beside him. Harry ran forward and wrapped his arms around Louis tightly and felt other arms hold him tightly back. Harry pulled away and looked at Louis’ smiling face.

“I missed you Lou.” Harry said a stupidly big smile on his face.

“I missed you too Curly. I missed you and your curly hair.” Louis had an equally big smile on his face and Harry pulled him through the door and shut it. The two of them talked for ages about their holidays and then it was time for tea.

They put their coats back on and walked to the dining hall. They stood in the queue and Harry chose roast chicken and bread sauce, oven roasted crispy potatoes, winter greens and creamed swede. For pudding he chose spotted Richard with custard sauce.

The two of them went to the table where the others were and sat their trays down. Stan stood and hugged Louis, then looked over at Harry and hugged him too. Louis sat down beside Stan and Harry sat beside Louis.

Sandy, who was across the table looked over at them and asked “So how are the boyfriends? Did you both have a good holiday?” Sandy took a mouthful of his food and Louis answered.

“Yeah, it was good. It was good to see my sisters and mum and step dad.” Harry reached out his knee and bumped it into Louis’ knee under the table.

“My holidays were good too.” Harry said. All of them caught up with each other and Spring term had begun.

On Wednesday morning a bit more than a week into Spring term Harry and Louis were in bed. Harry slowly started to wake up and reached out his hand to touch Louis’ shoulder, his fingers brushing over his skin. Louis was lying on his back and Harry was on his side, they were both near the middle of the bed. He let his hand fall back down and closed his eyes.

“H?” Louis said and Harry opened his eyes and looked up at Louis’ face. Louis was facing him though his eyes were closed. “Alright?” Louis asked.

“Yeah.”

Louis reached out his hand and patted at the side of Harrys’ head near his ear, his eyes still shut. Harry reached up and took Louis’ hand down, lacing their fingers together. Harry sat up a bit, leaning on his elbow. He swapped the hand that was holding Louis’ hand with his other one and with his free hand he drew patterns with his finger on Louis’ bare chest.

“Do you think it’s weird how we met?” Harry said continuing his pattern. “It’s like… we were being pulled together.” Louis opened his eyes and looked at Harry who was watching him. “Out of all the lads that could’ve been misplaced from a room… it was us.” Louis looked to be thinking.

“Yeah… I think that too.” Louis said quietly.

“I think we were meant to find each other.” Harry whispered. Louis nodded and brought Harry closer to him by pulling on their hands. Harry lay back down on his side, their held hands between them and Louis pulled the blankets up to their shoulders and they stayed like that until Harrys’ alarm on his phone went off.

 

In the afternoon after school Harry, Ed, Sandy and Jon were meeting in the music room. Harry had been looking forward to it all day. His time with Louis that morning had put him in a happy mood and he could still feel Louis’ warm skin on his own.

Harry walked to the music room and met up with Sandy on the way.“Hello my dear.” Harry said to him and the two of them hugged. Sandy told a story about something that had happened in one of his classes that day and it had Harry laughing. When the two of them got to the music room Ed was just getting there. After their greetings the three of them went in and sat on the floor, in a haphazard circle.

Not long later Jon joined them and they sat there their legs outstretched kicking each others’ shoes. Jon then took a piece of paper out of his back pack and sat it on the floor in front of him.

“I have a suggestion for one of your songs Harry, a little bit for the keyboard.” Harry looked at him eagerly.

“Yeah?” Harry said.

“Do you want me to play it for you?” Harry nodded and Jon went over to the keyboard and plugged it in. Harry got up too and went over to stand with him. Jon played what he’d come up with and told Harry the position of it in the song. Harry looked over at the other two still sat on the floor and grinned at them. Then he put his hand on Jons’ shoulder and pulled him into a side hug.

“Brilliant mate.” Harry said as Jon took the paper from the stand on the keyboard and unplugged it. Then the two of them sat back down on the floor. After a bit more banter Harry, who seemed to be in somewhat of a philosophical mood today asked them what they wanted for the future. Sandy leaned back on his hands and hmm’d out loud.

“Do you mean generally? Or for our career?” Jon asked. Harry thought about it and answered.

“Career, I think?”

“Music.” Sandy said and they all answered affirmatively.

“I want to be a solo artist.” Ed said. “Me and my guitar.”

“You’d be ace mate.” Jon said and the others nodded. Harry looked at Sandy and Jon. “And the three of us could be a band, circle up lads.” Harry said in a cheeky voice and put his hand out in front of him. Sandy and Jon added their hands and they pushed their hands down before lifting them up and separating.

“What do you think it would be like to perform on the stage in a theatre? Or an arena?” Jon asked.

“And the fans are singing the words you wrote back to you?” Harry said.

“I think that would be one of the best feelings in the world.” Ed said.

“Lads hoping for the best.” Sandy said.

“Won’t stop to surrender.” Harry said and the four of them sat and chatted a bit longer and they didn’t play anything else, just had a casual chin-wag.

Harry thought it was nice to have a laddy time.

That night Harry was sat in bed leaning on the bed head, Louis beside him on his phone. Harry was reading but his mind was thinking, he had lots of lyrics in his head and he wanted to write them down. He reached over to his bedside table and picked up his notebook that he wrote lyrics in and his pen. He wrote down all the words in his head and then put them together making a song. He wrote,

_‘Serendipity_

_I’m holding on to a smooth surface,_  
_Like raindrops running down the window glass,_  
_I’m helpless to do anything but follow gravity._

 _I’m falling pliantly into loving you,_  
_A happenstance I won’t say no to,_  
_It feels like something special,_  
_I won’t try and fight this,_  
_This serendipity._

 _Were there invisible words in the air?_  
_That cold day that our skin met?_  
_Did our hearts meet in the same place?_

 _I felt life through your skin that touched mine,_  
_A pulse of something I wanted to know,_  
_Your magic made me not want to let go._

 _I want to always feel like this,_  
_I want to always see your smile,_  
_I want that smile to always be at me.’_

He liked that he had arranged his thoughts into a song and looked over at the boy this song was about.

“Alright babe?” Louis asked.

“Yeah.” Harry said and shut his notebook and put it back on his bedside table, the pen on top.

 

“I have a good idea.” Louis said looking excited and cunning.

“Yeah? What’s that?” Harry asked. It was Wednesday in the last week of Spring term before the Easter holidays and they were both in their room doing their homework.

“You could do my homework for me.” Louis said holding out a text book to Harry. Harry only smiled and pushed the book back towards Louis.

“I don’t think so Lou, that wouldn’t be beneficial for you now would it?”

“I think it would be marvelously beneficial for me. I could go and lie down and watch shows on my laptop.” Harry laughed and gave Louis a look.

“But you wouldn’t be learning the stuff and that’s important.”

“Stuff, yeah, massively important.” Louis snorted but went back to work.

At tea that night the eight of them sat at their table eating their fajitas’ and talking about their Easter holidays. Harry would be going back to Holmes Chapel and he was looking forward to having a break from school. It was starting to warm up and he was looking forward to the warmer weather too and spending time outside.

“What are you looking forward to most about going back home?” Jade asked.

“Seeing my mum.” Louis said. Stan ruffled Louis’ hair and Louis ducked out of the way.

“Get off me.” Louis said affectionately.

“I like to ride my bike.” Sandy said. “That’s always fun.”

“What about you Harry?” Jade asked.

“I like to spend time in the kitchen, cooking stuff.” Harry said and looked at Louis and Louis smirked at him.

When they were finished eating they took their trays to the sorting area and then the Nowell ones headed to Nowell. On the walk back Ed and Harry discussed the end of term exams.

Back in their room Harry and Louis took off their blazers and Harry hung them in the wardrobe.

“I’m going to go and have a shower.” Harry said and went into the bathroom. When he came back out Louis was waiting to go in. While Louis was in the bathroom Harry pulled back the blankets of the bed and got in leaning on the bed head and his laptop on his knee. Not too long later Louis came out of the bathroom dressed in his pajama bottoms and carrying his uniform.

“I used your toothpaste.” Louis said matter-of-factly, putting his uniform in the dirty clothes bag. “Mine ran out.”

Harry looked up at the same time that Louis looked up from what he was doing. Their eyes caught and in that moment Harry knew that he was in love with Louis. Harry couldn’t move, didn’t want to. This feeling he was feeling was so warm and wonderful he never wanted it to go away. This boy in front of him, this boy who had just used his tooth paste was the boy Harry would share everything of his with.

He wanted to hear about Louis’ day and make him cups of tea. He wanted to be the one Louis came to when he needed help or had something to say. He wanted to be in this boys’ life and never leave. He needed to stop staring now.

“That’s ok Lou, I don’t mind sharing.” Harry said and he smiled at Louis who was still standing there, he hadn’t moved. Louis seemed to collect himself for a second and said ‘thanks’ before he bounded over to the bed and got up, sitting on his knees, on his side of the bed.

“What are you watching?” Louis asked.

Harry looked across to Louis and wondered if he saw, if he knew what had just happened. There had been a flicker of something in his eyes just now but seemed determined to shut it out.

“I’m watching these cat videos, they are so funny.” Harry said, deciding to put the moment behind him too.

“Yeah?” Louis said and Harry unplugged his headphones so they could both listen. They watched video after video and finally when it was ten o’clock Harry turned off his laptop and leaned over the side of the bed, putting it on the floor.

When he sat back up again he looked over at Louis who was smiling at him. Harry snuggled closer and put his head on Louis’ shoulder and his hand around his waist.

“Du bist mein bester Freund, Lou.” Harry said. “Du bist das Beste.”

“What did you say?” Louis asked. Harry lifted his head to look at Louis’ curious, questioning eyes. Harry blushed and ducked his head. “What love? What did you just say?” Harry looked back up and smiled shyly.

“I said ‘You’re my best friend, Lou. You’re the best.” Louis looked back at Harry, a soft smile on his face and touched his cheek.

“You’re my best friend too love.” Louis said. “And you’re the best.” He gently ghosted his fingers up the arm that Harry had around his waist and Harry lay his head back down on Louis’ shoulder. He held Louis tighter and felt the rise and fall of their breath.

“What language was that?” Louis asked.

“German, it’s one of my subjects.” Even though Harry couldn’t see Louis’ face he knew that Louis was smiling with a smirk. It made Harry smile too.

“Come on babe, time to sleep.” Louis said, starting to move. Harry sat up and got out of bed and walked over to the light switch to turn the light off. Louis turned his bedside light on and Harry went back to bed. He got in and Louis turned off his light. The two of them snuggled close and Louis put his arm around Harry’ waist.

“You’re everything that’s good.” Harry murmured quietly into Louis’ chest and was surprised when he heard back in a sleepy voice.

“You are everything that’s good Harry, you’re so, so good.” And then the two of them went to sleep.

It was Saturday morning and time to get their things together to leave to go home for the Easter holidays. Harry and Louis had just got back from breakfast and were collecting last minute things like their phones and charges.

Harry went into the bathroom after Louis and when he came out Louis was leaning over, putting something in his suitcase. Harry could see something familiar peeking out above Louis’ trousers, his shirt not tucked in. It was the waistband of the Spiderman pants Harry had given Louis for his birthday. Harry went closer and patted Louis on the bum and then leaned over Louis’ back so his face was near Louis.’

“Cool pants Lou.” Harry said and squeezed his waist. Harry had found a ticklish spot and Louis jumped and stood up. Louis reached around behind him encircling Harry in his arms.

“I think so too.” Louis said and Harry squeezed Louis’ waist again. Louis let go of Harry and turned around reaching for him. Louis’ fingers connected with Harrys’ stomach and Harry squirmed trying to stop him. They were both simultaneously reaching for each other and backing away.

Harry had his back to the bed and Louis pushed him over and Harry was lying on his back. Louis got up on the bed and they both wrestled around, both trying to tickle the other. Then Louis climbed on top of him, his knees either side of Harrys’ hips, sitting on him. Louis started to poke Harry in the side and Harry couldn’t move out of the way much, so tried to grab Louis’ hands instead.

The slight weight of Louis on top of him and the effort from the wrestling had made Harry a bit out of breath. His arms started to stop trying and Louis did too. Harry turned his head back to look at Louis and Louis caught his eye. In that moment they both stopped moving completely and just looked into each others’ eyes.

After a few seconds Harry started to slowly sit up and Louis let him, their eyes not leaving the others.’ Harry had one knee bent laid on the bed and the other straight out past where Louis was now sitting on his bottom. Louis put one hand on Harrys’ leg and Harrys’ heart beat with anticipation. Their eyes still held each other and then Louis leaned in and so did Harry. Louis closed the distance and their lips met.

They both didn’t move for a second, their lips touching together. Then Louis put his other hand into Harrys’ hair and moved his lips, pressing them into Harrys.’ Harry closed his eyes and put his hand on Louis’ thigh. The kiss was languid and fervent, peaceful and searching. Harry felt like he couldn’t breathe and like he was taking his first breath.

So many oxymorons and then Louis pulled back abruptly. Harry opened his eyes startled, his lips feeling cold immediately. Louis was looking at him, panic in his eyes. He got up from the bed and went over to his still-open suitcase and zipped it shut. Then he stood it up, pulled up the handle and headed for the door. He opened the door and then finally looked back to Harry, who hadn’t moved. Harry could see fear in his eyes and they were caught in each others’ sight for a moment and then Louis walked out taking his suitcase and some of Harrys’ hope with him.

Harry sat on the bed, his position the same as when Louis had been sat there too. He felt shocked and like his heart had just been ripped out. He had just been kissed by the most beautiful boy, that he was in love with and with that Harry had thought there had been an opening. He thought that Louis felt the same way.

No, Harry knew Louis felt the same way. He had seen in Louis’ eyes right before he had leaned in, a tender desire. There was a look on his face that accurately gave a visual image for how Harry felt. Harry didn’t know why Louis had left but the reason didn’t matter, Louis had left and that was what mattered.

He stayed sitting on the bed until he was sure Louis would be off the school grounds. Harry really didn’t want to see him.

++++  
Louis walked out of their room and down the hallway, heading to the front door of Nowell. He felt weak and scared like he had just faced death and was now walking away. He realized he had just described kissing Harry as death but it seemed an accurate way to describe it.He could still see the trust in Harrys’ eyes, feel the softness of his lips. Louis tried to block it out of his mind as he stopped at the door, tucked his shirt in and put on his coat.

He walked out into the mild weather and just turned his brain off. He made it to the train and sat in a carriage with some other people who were talking loudly, but Louis didn’t pay them mind, he barely heard them. His heart was still pounding, so stunned at what had just happened. In a way things had been leading to this. Really, from when they met, he had felt a fondness for the other boy. Louis liked spending time with him, liked hearing his stories. Harry was so beautiful and sweet, like a little kitten.

Louis took out his phone from his pocket and held it in his hand. He could see Harrys’ face, the way it looked before Louis had left the room. He had looked confused, hurt, in a bit of a daze.

Louis went to his contacts and selected Harry, he typed, _‘Harry…’_ but didn’t know what to say. Maybe it was best to just leave it alone for now. Louis deleted the text instead of sending it and then put his phone back in his pocket, the cold weight of the phone in his hand reminding him of the situation.

He sat back in his seat and mindlessly watched the view go past his window. Before he knew it they were in Doncaster. Louis pulled his case down from the overhead baggage and wheeled it down the aisle to the door. Once on the platform he looked for his mum amongst all the other people there.

“Louis!” Louis heard and he looked up, seeing the smiling face of his mum, Jay.

He headed over to her and she hugged him. As soon as his face rested on her shoulder he felt the tears that had built up try to come out. He exhaled and Jay let go so she could see him.

“What’s the matter Boo Bear?” She asked. Louis took a deep breath and out came a tear. She took his hand and they started walking, heading to the car. When they got to the car Louis put his suitcase in the boot and hopped into the front passenger, Jay already in the car.

“Louis? What is it?” Jay asked. Louis was silent and then he told Jay about Harry. She knew about him already, so it was what had happened just now that he told her. Jay started the car and backed out of the car park.

“I kissed him.” Louis said. Jay looked over at him and then back at the road.

“And he didn’t want that?” Jay asked gently. Louis looked out his window, seeing Harry.

“No, he did.” Jay looked confused but stayed quiet. “I left, I got up and left and said nothing else to him.” Jay still stayed quiet. “I think I love him mum.” Hearing those words out loud made Louis’ heart race. “I do love him.” Jay reached out her hand and patted his knee.

“What’s wrong with that?” Jay asked while they were stopped at the lights. Louis fiddled with the zipper of his coat.

“I’m scared. I’m scared of him, of us. It’s so big. And he’s so good, he’s a star… and I love him so much.” Louis started crying as the lights changed and Jay started driving again. She took his hand and held it.

“Boo Bear, it’s ok.”

They both were quiet for the rest of the time, the only sound was Louis’ sniffles. When they got back to the house they sat in the car in the driveway for a moment and Jay handed him a tissue. Louis wiped his eyes and then they both got out of the car. Jay got his suitcase from the boot while Louis tried to calm down.

Now that he was back in his own driveway, Giggleswick felt far away and he was excited to see his sisters. Jay brought his case to him and Louis wheeled it to the front door. When they walked inside Daisy ran to him and hugged him round the waist. Louis picked her up and she buried her face in his neck and he breathed her in, trying to immerse himself in the smell of home.

Phoebe came up to him then and hugged him and then let go. He started to chase her, still holding Daisy and she squealed in his ear. When he stopped he put Daisy down and she ran off with Phoebe. Lottie and Fizz were both sat in the lounge room doing something on an iPad. Louis went in and hugged them and then met Jay in the kitchen. She was making some tea and when it was brewed they took their mugs outside and sat in the weak sun together.

“Now, tell me what you’re feeling.” Jay said. Louis took a sip of his tea and then sat it on his lap holding it in one hand.

“The day I saw him playing his guitar and singing with our friends, I saw how good he was. He is really talented. He’s going to make it, I know it. He has so much to give and I don’t want to cage him. I want him to belong to everyone even though I want to keep him for myself.”

“Why can’t he belong to you too?” Jay asked, genuinely curious.

“I’d probably be his first boyfriend… I don’t know, he’s like this sweet little kitten and I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to be the first person to hurt him, that would be dreadful.” Louis took a deep breath. “I’ll be graduating soon and he’ll move on, he’ll have another room mate. What we have is fleeting. We’ll both move on. After I graduate it will be over anyway.”

“It does make it tricky, what with you graduating in July, I see that. But darling, don’t break your own heart. It sounds like that doesn’t bother him. You leaving Giggleswick doesn’t mean you have to leave him too.”

“It bothers me though mum. I don’t want him to wait for me, to wait until he’s graduated. It feels wrong.”

“I know I can’t make this decision for you, but I think you need to give him a chance. Give you both a chance.” Louis took another sip of his tea and felt like the decision hanging heavy in his heart. “Think about it Lou, please.” Jay got up then and when she passed his she squeezed his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

When she was back inside Louis looked out into the garden and saw a football. He got up and went over to it. He flicked it up on his foot and juggled it a few times and then kicked it away, and chased after it. He dribbled it back and forth across the grass, thinking about the time Harry had come to his and Stans’ football game and the way he had looked after him afterwards.

Harry was so lovely. Harry was so lovely. Harry was really lovely. Louis had made up his mind. He wasn’t going to start a relationship with him. He knew it would be awkward after the holidays when they were back at Giggleswick, but it would only be for three months. It was for the best. They could stay being friends and nothing really had to change between them.

Except Louis knew that their normal behaviour now would be affected, but they could make it work. Then after Louis’ last day there Harry would get another roommate, or get a single room like they had both originally wanted and all of it would be over.

Louis spent the rest of the holidays spending time with his sisters and helping Jay, which mostly meant him just keeping her company while she did things. He had to keep reassuring himself that he had made the right decision. There were times when his heart beat fast at the thought of leaving Harry and the tears came incessantly.

In those moments telling Harry ‘no’ seemed impossible. Then he would tell himself that he would be leaving Harry anyway, in July and he willed his heart to slow down to normal.

At the end of the holidays Louis packed up his things and put on his school uniform. His heart was beating fast about returning. He left his room with his suitcase and parked it at the front door. He hugged all his sisters good bye and he and Jay went out to the car. At the train station they got out of the car and went to the platform.

“I love you Boo Bear.” Jay said. “I know you’ll do what you think is right.”

“Thanks mum.” Louis said wondering again if he had made the right decision. “I love you too.”

On the train Louis pulled out his phone from his pocket and looked at Harrys’ name in his contacts.

He typed, _‘I hope you had a good holiday. I’ll see you soon.’_

He shook his head at himself. Should he be acting like the moment hadn’t happened? Was that fair to Harry? Louis sat and stared at the text, wondering if he should press send. Despite his anxiety at going back to Giggleswick, he also felt excited about seeing Harry. He just really liked Harry.

For the whole train trip Louis looked at the text, he had to keep touching the screen so it wouldn’t close. When they were pulling into the station Louis pressed send. The train stopped and Louis got his suitcase and walked down the aisle and got off.

++++  
Harry was back at Giggleswick, he’d been back about thirty minutes. He still felt the barrage of emotion he’d felt when he’d first walked in to the room. The emotion he’d felt nearly two weeks ago when Louis had rejected him. He didn’t know how he was going to cope seeing Louis again and he didn’t know what would happen.

He was sat on the floor leaning on his side of the bed when he felt his phone buzz. He took his phone out of his pocket and swiped the screen. It was a text from Louis. Harry looked at Louis’ name for a second and then curiosity took over and he opened the text. Reading what Louis had written made Harry feel conflicting thoughts.

Getting a text from Louis was normal, but what wasn’t normal was this text, it lacked Louis’ personality and spunk. Apart from that the message in the text was one that Louis would usually send. It seemed like things were normal, but they weren’t.

Harry didn’t know what to write back. He didn’t know where they stood. Was Louis really going to pretend that nothing had happened? Harry decided to play along. He text back, _‘My holiday was good. I hope yours was too.’_ No smiley faces, no kisses, his text mirrored Louis’ in style.

He didn’t get a reply back and he stayed sat on the floor and put his headphones in of his iPod and got lost in the music. If it weren’t for him sensing movement at the door, he wouldn’t have seen Louis arrive because he didn’t hear him. Harry took his earphones out and stood up, watching Louis come into the room.

“Hi.” Louis said.

“Hi.” Harry said back. There was a weird awkwardness in the room that they hadn’t had before. Louis lay his suitcase down and then turned back around to look at Harry who was sat on the end of the bed.

“Erm, I’m glad you had a good holiday.” Louis said, fiddling with the bottom of his jumper.

“Yeah, was yours?” Harry asked. This was really excruciating.

“Yeah, it was good…” Louis trailed off and Harry wondered if Louis would say something. He did.

“Harry, I’m sorry about what happened when we were last in this room.” Harrys’ heart sunk. “Can we just forget about it?” Harry had to try really hard not let the tears out of his eyes.

“If that’s what you want.” Harry managed to say. Louis looked at him, studying him. Finally he said,

“Yeah, it’s what I want.”

Then Louis said he was going to go and see Stan. When he was gone Harry lay down on the bed and let the tears come. So, Harry was wrong and Louis didn’t feel the same way as him. Louis didn’t mean for the kiss to happen and he wanted to forget about it. Maybe Louis already had.

Louis, who was now on his way to see his friend Stan, after just finishing talking to his other friend Harry. The thought made Harry cry harder. It seemed like most of what he had done all holidays was cry about Louis walking out. But, there had been a hint of hope that when they got back to Giggleswick they could sort things out. Now, he was crying because it was well and truly over. Louis had just confirmed that he didn’t feel the same way. Louis had rejected him.

He stayed lying on the bed wondering how he would get over this.

He didn’t go to the dining hall for tea, instead he ate a sandwich that Anne had made him before they’d left intended for him to eat on the train. When he was finished eating he went and had a shower. When he came out he turned on Louis’ bedside light and turned the main light off and got into bed, pulling the blankets up to his chin. He lay awake for a while and then went to sleep the emotion making him tired.

He didn’t hear Louis come in later, didn’t hear him have a shower, didn’t hear him get into bed and he didn’t notice Louis’ bedside light turn off. When Harry woke up in the morning, it was before his alarm. He could feel a warm body next to him and it seemed that in their sleep, like every other night they had snuggled into each other. Harry stayed still looking at Louis’ soft hair on the pillow. His heart felt heavy but he didn’t roll away.

When his alarm went off Louis stirred and turned to look at Harry. The moment was a familiar one, but this time Harry could feel that his heart had closed up a bit towards the other boy. It seemed he was trying to protect the broken pieces of his heart from being broken even more.

“Hi.” Harry said.

“Are you alright? You didn’t come to tea.” Louis said.

“Yeah, I didn’t feel well last night.” That wasn’t a lie. “I had an early night. I feel better now though.” Louis looked at him like he was looking for something.

“Oh, ok. It’s good you’re feeling better.” Louis said and Harry got up and went to get dressed in the bathroom.

They both walked to the dining hall together and joined the queue. Harry chose cereal, a banana and a cup of tea and with Louis beside him they went to their table. The others were already there and they sat down next to each other. Ed was watching him, concern on his face but Harry kept his eyes down. He only spoke when someone talked to him.

When they had finished eating and taken their trays to the sorting area the Nowell ones went back to Nowell. Harry and Louis brushed their teeth without their usual playfulness and left the room not really saying anything to each other. They separated and Harry went to his first class.

During the morning when Ed, Jesy, Jade and Harry were walking to another class, Ed asked Harry what was wrong. Ed pulled on Harrys’ elbow making him stop walking and the girls crowded around him.  
Harry didn’t know what to say, where to begin. Then he just started talking.

“I’m in love with Louis.” Harry said.

“I think we all knew that.” Jesy said. Harry looked up at her in surprise. “Yeah, I think that’s always been obvious.” Jesy said.

Harry didn’t have the energy to feel any particular way about that.

“What about it?” Jade asked.

“He kissed me on the Saturday morning before the holidays.”

“And it mustn’t have gone well then?” Ed asked.

“I kissed him back and then he left.” Jade put her arm around him. “Then last night when we arrived back he apologised for it and said he wants to forget it.”

“He said that?” Jesy asked. “I thought he liked you too.”

“Clearly he doesn’t.” Harry said and Ed hugged him before Harry could start crying.

“I can’t believe him. Why did he do that?” Jade said and Harry saw Jesy shush her. The four of them started walking again to their next class and Harry tried to put it all out of his mind so he could concentrate in class.

At lunch in a sign of solidarity Ed, Jade and Jesy led Harry to the table that they used to sit at before the four of them had Joined Louis at his table. By the end of the day Harry felt like his life had been turned upside down but he was learning to cope with it.

Louis spent a lot of time with Stan again in his room, like he had when Louis had first moved over to Nowell. The separation was painful but Harry preferred that then to deal with the weirdness between them. They were nice enough to each other but every interaction was a painful reminder of how it used to be.

Every morning they would wake up snuggled together and Harry would never move out of Louis’ embrace, Louis didn’t move away either. He knew it was not a good thing to do but he couldn’t bear the thought of losing this too.

A few weeks later, this new thing between them was becoming normal. Harry felt bad that Ed, Jesy and Jade had effectively cut off their friendship with Louis and even Jon and Sandy because of him. It was so nice of them though to stay loyal to him and he felt like he had some really good friends. Louis seemed to accept the new thing too and didn’t ask Harry about it, they really only talked to each other when they had to.

On Wednesday afternoon Harry was in their room sat at the little desk, Louis was in Stans’ room. Harry was doing his homework but he kept getting distracted and ended up looking out the window.

After a while he stood up and stretched, as he was doing that something out the corner of his eye caught his attention. He looked over to Louis’ side of the bed and saw a little book half poking out from under the bed. Harry walked closer with the intention of picking it up and putting it on Louis’ bedside table, so it wouldn’t get lost. He bent down and picked up the book.

It was dark brown and Harry could see it was a notebook. It was vaguely familiar and Harry thought he had seen Louis with it once. He ran his fingers over the cover and then opened it. It opened to the page that the little ribbon book mark was marking. Harry could see Louis’ handwriting and though he shouldn’t be looking, he couldn’t close the book.

He sat down on Louis’ side of the bed and read the words. Then he read them again. He let his hands fall to his lap and he stared at the wall in front of him. He took a deep breath and then picked up the notebook again. He wanted to read the words really slowly this time, the other times he had gone through it fast. He wanted to take in every word that Louis had written.

They were song lyrics. Harry had written a lot of lyrics and he knew what they looked like. He didn’t know that Louis wrote lyrics, maybe it was even a song. To be fair though Harry hadn’t told Louis that he wrote lyrics either. Harry began reading,

_‘Our only kiss_

_You’re so sweet and lovely,_  
_Not touched by life,_  
_Your beauty scares me,_  
_I don’t want to be,_  
_The one that hurts you._

 _We had that moment,_  
_And if it’s all we’ll have,_  
_It will have to be enough,_  
_But I could keep kissing you,_  
_And never stop, and never stop._

 _Time is falling through me,_  
_I can’t slow it down,_  
_I would if I could,_  
_It was our first kiss,_  
_Our first and only kiss._

 _Anchored in the same place,_  
_Moored for a fleeting time,_  
_Your rope will be untied,_  
_You’ll see the wide sea,_  
_Maybe sometimes you’ll think of me.’_

Harrys‘ heart was beating fast when he got to the end of it for the third time. These lyrics had to be about him but they were confusing to Harry, they said something different to what Louis had told him.

In what he’d just read it seemed like Louis did in fact like him and that Louis had wanted the kiss, wanted more kissing. He was conscious that he would be leaving soon and didn’t want their time to end. The last verse was prickling his heart. Why did Louis think that he would be someone Harry would only think about sometimes? Also, in the first verse, why did Louis think that he would hurt him?

Harry started to get a bit angry and he thought that it was terribly one-sided, Louis had written things that weren’t entirely true. Yes, Harry was younger but that didn’t mean he didn’t know what he wanted or that he couldn’t look after himself. Yes, Louis would be graduating soon but that didn’t mean it had to be the end of them. Yes, there was a short amount of time before Louis left but why couldn’t Harry go through it with him?

Harry shut the notebook and put it back where he had found it, not wanting Louis to know he had read it. He went back to the little desk and tried to let his homework distract him.

Why was Louis so certain that they wouldn’t last? The question made his heart ache. Did Louis not want it to last? It was like Louis was giving up on them before they could even start. It was like Louis was turning his back and showing disinterest in something that Harry cared about a lot, and that meant a lot to him and that hurt, it stung.

At tea that night Harry decided to try not to think about the lyrics. They didn’t change anything anyway. Louis had made up his mind that he didn’t want Harry and that was that.

A few weeks later Louis came into the room in the afternoon all smiling and began to tell Harry about something that had happened that day. Harry listened, used to this new ‘friends’ thing now. They talked more now and they told each other about their days. The awkwardness was dissipating and although it still hurt sometimes, most of the time, to look at Louis and know he couldn’t have him, he was glad things were better between them. It was a sad notion but it was true, that Harry really would rather have Louis as his friend, than to cut him out of his life completely.

The next day during their first class Ed told Harry that Sandy had text him, asking if he wanted to go to the music room this afternoon with him and Jon. “He said you were invited too but would understand if you say no.” Ed said. Harry thought about it for the rest of the lesson and decided that he really liked Jon and Sandy and the thing between him and Louis didn’t mean they had to stop being friends. Especially since he and Louis were back to being friends.

So after school that afternoon Ed and Harry met Jon and Sandy in the music room. Harry hugged them both and they said they were glad he had come. No-one mentioned Louis and they all just fell back in to how they used to be. Ed had written some new stuff and he played some for them. Ed gave Harry some music for it and he gave some chords to the other two. They played through it slowly and then they got the feel for it and were able to play it faster, then Ed started to sing and Harry did some harmonies.

It was the first time in weeks that Harry had played and he realised now how much he had missed it. When it was time to pack up Sandy put his hand on Harrys’ shoulder and said he was sorry. Harry hugged him but didn’t say anything and the four of them left the music room.

On the last day of summer term Harry sat with his classmates at the end-of-year assembly. Harry was pleased with how he had gone in his GSCE’s and he held his certificate in his lap now, having already gone up on stage to receive it. He looked around the hall, not really looking for Louis, but then, he really was looking for Louis.

The U6’s were being called out the front to get their A level certificates. When the headmaster Mr Cowell got to the T’s, Harry watched as Louis walked out to the stage and received his certificate. In a strange moment, even with the whole school in the hall Louis looked straight at Harry and Harry gave him a thumbs- up. Louis did the same back while he stood with his class mates on stage. Ed, who was sitting beside him saw the exchange and nudged him with his elbow. Harry just shrugged.

In their room later Harry was packing his stuff up, his family waiting in the entrance foyer of Nowell. Louis wasn’t back yet. Harry had seen him at the hall with his mum and what must have been his step-dad and sisters. Harry wanted so badly to go over and meet them, but the thought of Louis introducing Harry as his friend was what kept Harry away.

While he was doing a last-minute look around the room he hurried. He wanted to be gone before Louis came back. When Harry was certain that he had packed everything he stood at the door way and looked back in to the room that had been his for a year. The room he had shared with a beautiful boy that he had fallen in love with, was still in love with. His insides ached to be saying goodbye to this room, because in a way he was saying good bye to Louis again too. He didn’t want to cry and he didn’t want to stay in the room any longer, in case Louis came back.

So he reached out his hand to hold on to his suitcase handle and pulled it with him out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't copy, that's not nice. (Plagiarism is bad)  
> All song lyrics are my own original lyrics.  
> This is fiction, none of it happened.

Part two

“Thank you all so much for coming tonight.” Harry said to the thousands of fans in the arena, there for his concert. “You all are the reason we get to be here. So a massive, massive thank you to all of you.”

The crowd was loud and Harry was grinning. He loved, completely loved being on stage every night on tour. Tonight was the last show of the tour and it had been a good one, they were all good to be fair, but there was something about the last show.

Harry finally left the stage and was met by his tour manager Paul. Harry hugged him and he was taken to a waiting car that would take him to the hotel for the night, he’d be flying back to London the next day. Harry was buzzing and wanted to text his friend Niall to tell him about the show but because of the time difference between Australia and England it was probably not a good time for Niall.

The car arrived at the hotel and Harry was taken inside and he went to his room. The vast difference between the loud cheers at the shows and the quiet of the hotel room was deafening, just like it always was. He wasn’t tired, so he sat out on his balcony, in the warm air and let himself relax. Jon and Sandy came to his room not long later and the three of them sat together on Harrys’ balcony.

“Last show tonight boys. We did good don’t you think?” Harry asked.

“Smashed it.” Sandy said and Harry smiled. They joked around and talked until very late, or very early in the morning and then Sandy and Jon left and Harry went to bed.

Too soon Paul was knocking on his door saying that it was time to get up, that the car would be leaving in forty-five minutes. Harry got up and had a shower and packed his suitcase, then he met Paul in his room and they walked down to the car.

Harry was sat in the back seat of the car, comfortable on the black leather seat, Paul beside him. Jon and Sandy were staying in Australia a bit longer and so wouldn’t be on the same flight as him now back to London.

 

It had been five years since Harry had graduated from Giggleswick. He had kept in contact with Jon and Sandy after they had graduated, unlike him and Louis. Then when Harry had finished his A levels the three of them had become serious about being a band. What had started as Harry joking that the three of them should be a band in the music room that day, had become real.

It was the end of September and Australia was the last country of their world- wide tour that had started in February. Harry had enjoyed being on the road with Jon and Sandy, they were good lads and they always had a good time.

From the first real music practice after Harry had finished school they didn’t talk about Louis. Harry had told them that day that he didn’t want to talk about it and they said that Louis had never told them what had happened and had agreed not to mention him. They had succeeded too. They were still friends with Louis and kept in contact with him, they were just always careful not to bring him up.

Harry laid his head back on the seat and tried not to go to asleep. He knew that as soon as he went to sleep Paul would be waking him up telling him they were at the airport. He tried to keep his eyes open but they closed anyway. Then he heard something on the radio that made him open his eyes.

He leaned forward to tap the driver on the shoulder and asked him to please turn the radio up. The driver did and Harry sat back again. It was a song. It wasn’t the voice that had caught his attention, he recognized the voice as his friend Liam Payne, a British singer. Liam was signed to the same record label as Harry but Harry didn’t see them as being in competition with each other. Liam was more pop/rock and Harry was more singer/songwriter.

It was the lyrics. Harry tried to work out where he had heard them before, but he couldn’t remember ever hearing them. Then he listened more closely and his mind put things together and he began to connect things. They were words he’d seen written down, words written in a familiar handwriting, in a notebook he had found partly under the bed. It was Louis’ song. Liam was singing the chorus for the second time.

 _‘We had that moment,_  
_And if it’s all we’ll have,_  
_It will have to be enough,_  
_But I could keep kissing you,_  
_And never stop, and never stop.’_

Harry sucked in a deep breath trying to make sense of it. He could see Paul looking at him and he turned to smile at him, trying to tell him he was ok. When the song finished Harry pulled his phone out of his pocket, wanting to ring Liam and ask him about the song but he realised now wasn’t the right time to talk about Louis, he didn’t know if there would ever be a right time.

The car arrived at the airport and Harry put his phone away. He still felt in shock and just let Paul take him to where he needed to be. When he was sat on the plane and they’d taken off Harry felt his heart beat more normally. Hearing the song was bringing up memories of blue eyes, a familiar voice and warm skin. He had done a fairly good job of forgetting Louis, that mainly consisted of avoiding everything to do with him and now Louis was all he could think about.

When the plane landed at Heathrow Harry followed Paul off the plane and out of the airport to a waiting car. Paul got him into the car and then Harry was on his own. He told the driver to take him home and by the time they got there Harry was nearly asleep. He walked into his flat and sat his suitcase in his room, not bothering with unpacking it.

He took his phone out of his pocket and was about to put it on his bedside table when he realised that he hadn’t rung Liam yet. He was too tired then for a Louis conversation so he just sat it down. Then he went to his wardrobe and got out some clean pants and headed into the bathroom for a shower.  
He came out of the shower later and got into bed bone-tired. He looked at his phone sat there and decided to just go ahead and text Liam.

He sat up and typed, _‘I heard your song on the radio in Australia. It’s been ages since I’ve seen you. Let’s catch up? H’_

Harry put his phone back on his bedside table and lay back down, the pillow being a lovely thing. He went to sleep pretty quickly and slept through the rest of the day and half of the next night.

He woke up at about half five and lay in bed wondering how his life had gotten to be so marvelous. He and the two other lads had just finished a world-tour. He had gotten to go to countries he hadn’t been to before and seeing the fans in all those countries was so nice. The fans were always so appreciative and the love they sent him was incredible.

Harry liked that he could just lie here now in the quiet of his room in his own flat. A while later he got up and stretched. He had started to do some yoga a few months ago and he really liked it and thought it was good for him. He did some now and was feeling wholly more revived, when his phone buzzed with a text.

Harry looked at the time and saw that it was half seven, then he went over to his bedside table and picked up his phone. He sat on the side of his bed and looked at the screen, he could see that he had two texts. He looked at the earlier one first and saw it was from Liam.

It said, _‘Good to hear from youuu. Yeah, let’s catch up soonnn.’_

Harry grinned and then looked at the other text. It was from Paul saying that some people from the label wanted to see him in the studio that morning at nine o’clock. Harry didn’t know what that was about. He was off now, until his next tour next year.

He replied to Paul saying he’d be there and then he text Liam back, _‘Ok good, I’ll ring you. H’_

Harry then made his bed and started to unpack his suitcase and took his dirty clothes to the laundry. He liked these simple things, doing these things. He had breakfast and then brushed his teeth and left his flat. He drove himself to the studio in his car and parked round the back. He walked round to the side door and he saw that someone was just about to go in, in front of him, it was Liam.

They saw each other at the same time and grinned confusedly at each other, Harry recovered first and pulled him in for a hug. Liam hugged him back and when they pulled apart Liam patted him on the shoulder.

“I wanted to see you soon, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.” Harry said and Liam laughed.

“Same mate. You’re back? How was the tour?” Liam asked and the two of them walked inside. Harry told him a bit about it and then asked Liam if he was recording today.

“A bit later, yeah. I have a meeting this morning at nine o’clock.” The two of them were stood just inside the door and Harry raised his eyebrows.

“I have a meeting at nine o’clock too.”

“I wonder what this is all about then.” Liam said and they started walking to the meeting room.

Harry opened the door and let Liam walk through first. Harry heard Liam greet some people and Harry closed the door behind them before he looked up to see who was in the room.

He saw Ashton Irwin the label boss and followed Liam over to him and shook his hand. Standing next to him was Perrie Edwards the co- boss and he shook her hand too. They were both standing at one end of the table, and then Liam went over to another lad in the room who was sat at the table. Harrys’ vision of him was partly obscured by Liam and he watched as the lad stood up a big smile on his face and the two of them hugged. When the other lads’ chin was over Liams’ shoulder, he was facing Harry and their eyes met. Harrys’ eyes widened and he felt his face go slack. He couldn’t look away from the blue eyes but then the lad ended the hug with Liam and Harry could no longer see him as well.

Liam didn’t seem to notice anything going on and he turned around, standing beside the lad. Ashton came closer and stood with them, Perrie beside him.

“I know you know Liam here.” He said with a smile at Liam and Harry nodded. “Now I want you to meet Louis Tomlinson.” Harry let his eyes find Louis’ again and saw him looking back at him calmly. Harry didn’t know how Louis could be so calm when, he himself was trying really hard to keep standing.

“Yeah… I know him.” Harry said looking at Ashton. Ashton looked pleased.

“Brilliant, that will make this meeting splendid.” Harry looked back at Louis, his eyes didn’t seem to be able to stay away.

“Ok, good. Let’s get started then.” Perrie said and the others went to the table and chose where to sit.

Harry was slow to start moving and when he got to the table the only obvious place to sit was beside Louis, so he sat. He kept his eyes on Ashton, but was so keenly aware of Louis beside him.

“So, the reason I have asked you both here.” Perrie said, looking at Liam and Harry. “Is because I have something for you both to do.” Harry looked at Liam, both of them wondering what she meant. “Both you boys are some of Britains’ biggest music artists. Both of you are doing so well here in Britain and all over the world. I think it would be a great idea for you both to perform together in Liams’ tour around the UK. The fans love both you boys and we could give them ‘Lirry’ they would love that, I’m certain.”

Harry was shocked, that was two surprises in a short amount of time. This second one was more easily absorbed than the first one of seeing Louis, of having him sat beside him now after seven years.

“I know you’ve just finished your world-tour Harry and I’m not asking you to do Liams’ full set. You will accompany Liam, on his tour and perform with Liam at least one original song, that will be by the two of you. That’s where Louis comes in.” Perrie said looking at the boy beside Harry. Harry turned to look too and Louis slightly turned his head to give Harry a tame look. Harry looked back to Perrie. “Louis is an excellent song-writer and works for the studio. He wrote on Liams’ last album, he will sit in with you two during your writing sessions.” Harry was finding everything that had happened since he had started walking to the side entrance of the studio when he’d arrived, hard to comprehend.

The boy beside him was a song-writer for the record label that Harry was signed with? Did Louis know Harry was with this label? Harry didn’t say anything and Liam spoke up instead.

“Yeah.” Liam said shrugging. “I think that will be good, brilliant even. I’d love to have Harry along on the tour. Harry looked over at Liam and gave him a smile.

“And you Harry?” Ashton asked. Suddenly everyone in the room was looking at him. Harry purposely didn’t look at Louis, instead focusing on Ashton.

“Yeah, I’ll do it.”

“Ok, then! Ashton and I will leave you boys to it. You can use one of the rooms down that way.” Perrie said pointing. Then she and Ashton stood and the other boys did too.

They all shook hands and then Ashton and Perrie left. Harry looked at Liam and then Louis.

“Well, that was unexpected.” Liam said and laughed, breaking the silence between the three of them.

“Yeah, I didn’t know what the meeting was for.” Louis said. Harry looked at Louis, studying him.

“Really? You didn’t know?” Harry asked. Louis looked at him an unreadable expression on his face. It seemed Louis wasn’t going to answer, and then he did.

“No, I didn’t.” He said plainly. Liam looked at the two of them confused, and then he said they should get to it.

The three of them left the meeting room and Liam led them to another room and sat down on a lounge in there. Harry looked around the room, it had a keyboard plugged in and some guitars against the walls. Louis sat beside Liam on the lounge and Harry sat on the floor across from them, leaning on an ottoman.

There was an awkwardness between them that Harry knew was there because of him, because of his inability to make sense of Louis being there. Louis still looked like Louis, only he had a bit of a beard now. He was still beautiful and looked good in his black skinny jeans and black t-shirt. Harry knew he had to make an effort so he took a deep breath and turned to Liam.

“So, when does your UK tour start?” Harry asked him.

“In three weeks, the third week in October.” Liam answered and Harry nodded. “Ok, does anyone know what we can write a song about?” Liam asked.

Harry looked down at his lap and didn’t say anything, his brain was really not working right then so he hoped the other two had some ideas. Louis suggested they come up with some themes and Liam said a few things.

“Most songs are about love, some aspect of it.” Louis said and Harry snorted. The other two looked at him surprised.

“Nothing.” Harry said and Liam looked away.

Louis’ eyes stayed longer and then he ducked his head. Louis got up and got a notepad from a shelf and tore off three pages and grabbed three pens. He gave each of them a paper and a pen and then he sat back down. Harry picked up the pen and started doodling on the paper.

Liam, ever studious and compliant was working with Louis who was asking him questions about what was going on in his life that he would want to write about. Harry wrote ‘love’ on the paper and then drew a lot of broken hearts and broken flowers.

They were together in the room for a while when Harrys’ phone rang. Harry was relieved for the distraction. He took his phone out of his pocket and saw that it was Niall.

“Hi Niall.” Harry said into the phone and Liam and Louis both looked over at him and then went back to what they were doing.

“Hi Harry. What are you doing?”

“I’m at the studio.”

“What? I thought you were off now until next year.”

“Yeah, I was, and then things changed this morning. I’ll be doing the UK tour with Liam.”

“Oh, that’s cool, sucks that you’re still working though.”

“Yeah, it’s not so bad, just one thing really and it won’t be for long.”

“When do you finish, I’ll come round and we can go do something.”

“I don’t know, an hour?”

“Ok mate, I’ll be there in an hour.” Harry hung up and saw that Louis was looking at him.

“Will we be finished in an hour?” Harry asked. Liam was the one that answered.

“Yeah, I’d say we will be.” Liam and Louis went back to whatever they were doing and Harry went back to drawing on his paper.

Sometime later he saw Louis get up and go over to the keyboard. He played something for Liam and they both laughed. Harry was shocked again, he didn’t know how many times that was now. He didn’t know that Louis played the keyboard.

At Giggleswick he had said he played some piano but from the sound of it then, he wasn’t all that interested. From what Harry had just heard Louis play now, he could see that Louis was proper good. Harry supposed that he would have to be pretty musical to be working at the studio, it was just that Harry didn’t know that Louis was so interested in music. Louis played some more and he and Liam were mucking around, they had clearly done song-writing together before.

Harry stayed sat on the floor and listened to them while he doodled on the paper. Harry heard a voice outside the door in the hallway and an unmistakable Irish voice. Harry stood up and opened the door and saw Niall talking to Perrie. When Niall saw Harry standing there he ran forward and wrapped his arms around him.

“It’s been ages mate.” Niall said.

“Yeah.” Harry said grinning, instantly feeling better, feeling the strain from the past few hours drifting away.

Harry brought Niall into the room where the other two were to say goodbye. Louis looked up from where he was at the keyboard when they came in and his hands slid from the keys. Harry looked between Niall and Louis amused. It wasn’t the first time he had seen this sort of reaction from people meeting Niall. Harry introduced Niall to Liam and Louis and Louis said he was a fan.

“Do you want me to sign something then?” Niall asked teasing. Liam and Niall shook hands and Louis shook his hand too.

“We’re going now.” Harry said. “I suppose we’ll be back here tomorrow to write?” Liam and Louis nodded and Harry took Nialls’ elbow and led him out of the room and out the side entrance of the studio.

“Is your car here?” Harry asked putting on his sunglasses.

“Nah, my friend dropped me off.” The two of them walked to Harrys’ car and Harry unlocked it and they got in.

“Where do you want to go?” Harry asked.

“Yours? We could play FIFA and order pizza? Or you could cook something?” Harry laughed.

“Yeah, it has been ages since I’ve cooked. We can go to Tescos’ on the way home and I’ll buy some ingredients.” Harry started the car and drove out of the car park.

++++  
When Harry had started back at Giggleswick the next school year after Louis had left, he and Ed were sharing a room in one of the proper pupil dorms. There had been a constant ache in the beginning because everything about Giggleswick reminded him of Louis. It had been somewhat easier at home over the summer because there were no triggers there. Harry got used to the ache and for the next two years, with Ed as his roommate and Jade and Jesy as his friends he enjoyed being at Giggleswick.

He didn’t forget Louis though, he couldn’t. In his mind, his heart was taken and he couldn’t imagine giving his heart to anyone else. When he left school he started to go to football games. In the beginning being in the stands watching the players he felt close to Louis, it reminded him of when he had watched Louis play.

Then after a while he was there because he just enjoyed watching the game. Two years after school, when he and the lads were just starting to get big Harry had gone to a game in London. Incidentally, this was the game that Harry had met Niall. Niall played for Manchester United and after the game Harry was able to go down to the field and meet the players. He and Niall had hit it off straight away and had exchanged numbers.

They’d been friends since then, for the last three years.

++++  
After Harry and Niall had gone to Tescos’ Harry pulled up at his flat and the two of them carried the bags of food inside. Niall went straight for the TV and Harry unpacked the groceries.

“What do you think about fajitas’ for tea?” Harry asked going in to where Niall was.

‘Yeah, good, thanks Harry.” Harry went back to the kitchen and started preparing the meal. He could hear Nialls’ laugh sometimes and it made Harry smile. He had missed this, spending time at home with his friend.

When he had finished making everything Harry carried it into the lounge room where Niall was and put two plates on the coffee table in front of the lounge and Niall turned down the TV.

“This looks good H. I haven’t had a decent home-cooked meal since you’ve been away.”

The two of them ate and then Niall said,“Is it just me, or was it a bit weird in the studio?” Harry sighed.

“It wasn’t just you. It was weird. That boy Louis, is Louis Tomlinson, from Giggleswick.”

Niall recognized the name, Harry had told him about Louis.

“Yeah? He works at the studio now? That is bizarre.”

“I know, I still can’t believe it actually. We have to write a song for Liam and I to sing on his tour.”

“Good luck with that mate.” Niall said and laughed. Harry swatted his leg and Niall just laughed more.

“Maybe you could come tomorrow? You could sit with us.” Harry said looking at Niall as he took another mouthful.

“What do I know about writing songs?” Niall scoffed.

“You don’t have to write anything, you can just support me. Liams’ my friend too but he and Louis have written together before and they already have that working relationship.”

“Ok… fine. But you’ll have to cook for me again soon.” Harry lunged for Niall and hugged him, trying to kiss his cheek. Niall squirmed but then let him.

“I would love to cook for you again Niall.” Harry said, making Niall laugh again.

Harry took their empty plates back to the kitchen when they were finished and put them in the dishwasher, then wiped the benches. He came back into the lounge room and Niall turned the TV over to FIFA and they played until they got tired.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” Harry asked Niall. “I can drive you round to your flat in the morning and you can get some clean clothes?”

Niall agreed and Harry turned off the TV and then turned off the light in the lounge room. They both walked to Harrys’ room and Harry went into the bathroom first to have a shower, then Niall went in.  
When they were both showered they hopped into Harrys’ bed and Harry turned off the light.

“It’s good to be home.” Harry said as he drifted off to sleep.

++++  
Louis lay awake in his bed in his flat the night after the day at the studio writing with Liam and Harry. Louis had been telling the truth when he’d answered Harrys’ question about if he knew what that meeting was about. Nobody had told him who was coming in that day, just that it was two British lads. Louis knew that Harry was signed to the label, but he honestly thought they would never see each other, that there would never be a reason to see each other.

When he had seen Harry walk in, he had immediately felt his heart clench up and like it was squeezing out all of the feelings he had for Harry. He had to work hard at looking like he was unaffected, but his insides told another story. He and Liam had worked together before and were friends and having him there was nice when his heart felt like it was going to explode, because there was too much feeling to fit inside it.

While they were sat at the table hearing Perries’ plan it had been awful to see that Harry was ignoring him. Harry had looked so good, so strong and sure of himself. He wasn’t the sixteen year old boy he had been at Giggleswick, but then he kind of was. He was still the same Harry.

Louis was still in love with him, he knew from the way his heart had responded when Harry had walked in. For the last seven years, he hadn’t been able to forget about Harry. He’d tried and thought he could just move on. He remembered telling his mum during the last Easter holidays of school that they would both just move on, he soon learnt that that wasn’t going to happen. There was no-one else like Harry, no-one else with the dimpled smiles and the care and concern for other people, no-one else smelled the same and there was no-one else he wanted to wake up beside.

He had yielded to the idea that because he couldn’t have Harry, he wouldn’t have anyone.

Louis had always thought that he would play football when he left school but when it was time to apply for university he knew he wanted to do music instead. He had played the piano when he was younger but had stopped with lessons and then just tinkered along on his own sometimes.

He was more interested in football then and played the piano rarely. When he got to Giggleswick in Secondary school he had joined the schools’ football team and kept playing football until U6 form.

When he had seen Harry play with Sandy and Jon for the first time, when he, Stan, Jade and Jesy had gone along to watch, he had been mesmerised by Harry. There was happiness in his eyes and Louis could tell that he really loved it. Louis had been jealous of Sandy and Jon, Ed and even Harry with how good they were. He had felt an internal yearning to be able to play, like something had wanted to get out. His fingers itched to be on the keys like Jons’ were.

He realized then that it wasn’t football after all that he loved, it was music. He would go to the music room sometimes when no one was around and play the schools’ piano. He didn’t know why he didn’t tell anyone, didn’t know why he didn’t tell Harry. He supposed that maybe he wanted to get really good, so he and Harry could play together.

At University he got really good, but by then he and Harry were long gone. Every time he played the piano he thought of Harry, thanked Harry in his mind. It was because of Harry that Louis had gone back to the piano and found what he loved and what he was good at.

It wasn’t always happy thoughts that came to him when he sat down on the piano stool to play. Sometimes he would think about how he and Harry had ended. On their last day at Giggleswick, after the end-of-year assembly, Louis had gone back to the room to pack his last things. His heart had wanted so badly to talk to Harry, to tell him he was sorry for the last three months. The last, long, tedious, soul-destroying three months. He wanted to say sorry for ruining what they’d had between them. He just wanted to say good-bye.

But when he got to the room Harry wasn’t there and neither were his things. Harry had left and that was that. The year was over, his time at Giggleswick was over and Harry was gone. That feeling of loss didn’t go away. It wasn’t just missing Harry, it was also the guilt that it was his fault that Harry was gone.

Sometimes, even now, his heart would beat out of rhythm at thoughts of the past and he longed for the mornings when he would wake up snuggled close to Harry. Not the mornings after the Easter holidays, the ones before, when Harry would smile at him and he would see his dimples.

Now, they were back in each others’ lives with the task of writing a song, or two. Louis had seen the piece of paper that Harry had been drawing on in their writing time that day and his heart broke. He had scrunched up Harrys’ drawing and put it in the bin, not wanting it to exist anymore. Harrys’ drawing made Louis want to hold Harry close, like he did when Harry had felt homesick at Giggleswick.

Louis just wanted to say sorry, but he was scared of getting indifference back from Harry. He knew he had to get past that though, because Harry deserved better than that.

++++  
The next morning Harry woke up and smiled at the blonde-haired boy lying beside him. Niall was spread out on his side of the bed his face peaceful. Harry got up and went into the kitchen and started to make breakfast, knowing that Niall would smell it and get up. Harry cooked some eggs and warmed up some baked beans and made some toast and then Niall came in.

“Good morning, my lovely Irish friend.” Harry said and Niall just laughed.

They ate and then Harry went back to his room and made the bed and got dressed. Then the two of them got into Harrys’ car and Harry drove them to Nialls’ flat so Niall could put on some clean clothes. Harry stayed in the car and not long later Niall came out in a different shirt and jeans. Harry started the car and headed to the studio, the closer they got, the more nervous Harry became.

“It will be alright Harry.” Niall said not looking up from his phone he was holding in his hand.

“Yeah.” Harry said and pulled in to the studio car park.

He found a park and the two of them walked through the side door and into the studio. The two of them went straight to the room they’d been using yesterday. He and Niall were the first ones to arrive and Harry picked up the notepad from the shelf that Louis had gotten yesterday and tore off three pages for them, then he tore off and extra one for Niall. He got four pens and sat two of them on the ottoman with the other two pieces of paper.

He sat beside Niall on the lounge and could see that Niall was playing a game on his phone, the paper and pen beside him on the lounge. Harry picked up his own, leaned on the armrest of the lounge and wrote,

 _‘It was us and the world,_  
_Now it’s you and it’s me,_  
_The us broke,_  
_Now we’re separate entities.’_

He looked up when he saw Liam and Louis walk in, with them was a good looking dark-haired boy. Harry stood up putting his paper and pen on the lounge cushion. Niall stood too and they went forward to greet them. “Hi.” Liam said hugging Harry and then Niall, Harry hugged Liam back and this time when his eyes met Louis’ he was more prepared.

“Hi.” Harry said to him and Louis greeted him back.

“This is Zayn, he’s crashing our writing today.” Louis said and put his arm around Zayns’ shoulders. Zayn said ‘hi’ and Liam smiled fondly at him, and Harry introduced Niall to the others.

They all found somewhere to sit and Harry sat back down where he was before, picking up his paper again. Liam sat beside him and Louis sat next to Liam, the other two sat on the floor. Zayn had brought with him a canvas bag and inside was a sketch book that he was showing Niall.  
Harry turned back to the other two on the lounge and Liam looked at Harrys’ paper.

“That’s good Harry.” Liam said reaching for the paper where Harry had written the lyrics. Louis leaned over to see and then made eye contact with Harry.

Harry didn’t know how to feel, didn’t know if he had wanted anyone to see those lyrics. They had now, so he just sat and said nothing. Louis got up and went over to the keyboard and played a few chords, it seemed he could hear a tune in his head that fit the lyrics. Liam sang them to the tune and just like that they had the beginning of a song.

Harry was able to put aside all the history between him and Louis and the three of them were able to work together. Niall got hungry later and he and Zayn left to go and find food. That’s when things started to go badly. Something in Harry just snapped and he reached over and held one side of the paper in Liams’ lap and took the pen out of his hand and wrote,

 _‘You left me when I wanted you,_  
_I thought that you wanted me too,_  
_I wasn’t afraid of what we could be,_  
_Why didn’t you want to try to see?’_

The other two were watching him write and when he let the pen leave the page after the last word Louis snatched the pen out of his hand and wrote,

 _‘Did you forget how to say good bye?_  
_Why is it that you didn’t want to try?_  
_The room was empty and your stuff gone,_  
_That sight never fades, the day you went away.’_

“This is good lads.” Liam said. “You seem to have words flowing quite well. Let’s just try and take it easy.”

Harry looked at Liam sat in between him and Louis. He tried to take it easy, he did, but he had so much to say. He took the pen from Louis’ hand and put his hand on the paper still in Liams’ lap. Liam sighed but let Harry start writing. Harry wrote,

 _‘You know why it was that I had to leave,_  
_How could I stay when you didn’t want me?_  
_You were everything and you weren’t mine,_  
_I didn’t want you breaking me one more time.’_

Louis just sat and stared at Harry.

“Alright lads?” Liam asked.

“Yes.” Harry said at the same time that Louis said,

“No.”

“Should we take a break?” Liam asked. Neither of them answered and just kept staring at each other over Liams’ lap, until Louis took the pen and wrote,

 _‘It was so big, it was bigger than us,_  
_I was afraid that I would mess it up,_  
_I loved you so much and that scared me too,_  
_I’m sorry ok? I know it was the wrong thing to do.’_

Liam handed the paper to Louis and stood up.

“I think you two have some things to talk about.” Liam said. “I’ll go and find Niall and Zayn and leave you two to it. Be nice to each other.”

Liam walked over to the door, opened it and walked out, closing the door behind him. When he was gone Harry became very aware that he was alone with Louis, the first time he had been alone with him in more than seven years.

Louis put the paper on the lounge cushion between them where Liam had been sitting and stood up and walked over to the keyboard and then turned around facing Harry. Their eyes were on each other and then Louis spoke.

“Harry…” He stopped like he was unsure of what to say next. “I am really, really sorry.” He was looking at Harry earnestly but Harry was still too riled up to appreciate it. Harry stood too and clasped his hands together tightly before letting his hands fall to his side.

“It’s so ironic really, that you wrote in your song that you didn’t want to hurt me. When that’s exactly what you went and did anyway. You left, and that hurt a lot, it still hurts.” Louis’ face showed discomfort and pain and then he looked surprised, thoughtful.

“My song? Our only kiss?” Louis stopped, the name of the song between them. The reminder of that Saturday before they went home for Easter clear for both of them. “How do you know that’s my song?”

Harry faltered a bit, caught, knowing he had to own up to reading Louis’ notebook. “I read your notebook at Giggleswick, then heard the song on the radio when i was in Australia.” Harry admitted. Louis showed that he had heard but seemed to brush it off.

“I thought I was doing the right thing, I know now that it wasn’t.” Louis said and Harry snorted but felt some relief that Louis didn't seem very angry that Harry had read his notebook. Louis gave him a look.

“The question that haunts me, it proper haunts me, is, why were you so certain we wouldn’t last?” Louis looked resigned then and went back to the lounge to sit down but Harry stayed standing, just turned to see him.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t think it would last, it was that I didn’t want it to have to.” Harry looked bewildered.

“What does that mean?” Louis took a deep breath and sighed.

“That Sunday afternoon when you played with Jon and Sandy for the first time, I saw how good you were, how much everyone would love you. I didn’t want you to stay with me when the world needed you.” Harry just about exploded.

“What about what I needed Lou? Why were you so busy worrying about what the world needed and not about what I needed, what you needed? Why couldn’t we do it together?”

Louis stood up angry too, angrily wanting to get his point across.

“Because I was leaving!” Louis said loudly. “I was leaving and you still had two more years of school! I didn’t want you to have to wait two years, to wait for me. I didn’t want to force something that was so young. I didn’t think we were ready!”

“You decided our fate before we could even try! You make it sound like what we had wasn’t real, it was real!” They faced each other with angry faces. Harry didn’t know what to say, he was hurt and he was angry. “I really liked you.” Harry said, he wasn’t going to tell Louis that he had loved him, not now, maybe never. “I know that it would have been different for us when you graduated, not seeing each other every day. But I really liked you. It was going to be hard enough saying good bye to you on that last day anyway, but knowing you had already let us go, that you had made that decision, that made the last day even harder. Walking out of that room was walking out on us for good and I just really liked you!”

Harry could feel tears behind his eyes but he didn’t want to cry. Louis was still sat on the lounge and he was looking at the wall. He turned his head to look back at Harry again.

“I’m sorry Harry.” Louis said, his voice void of emotion. They stared at each other and then Harry answered,

“So am I… It is what it is.” Louis’ eyes perked up and Harry knew he was remembering too, their conversation at Giggleswick when they had decided that they would let the room situation happen on its’ own without their input.

Harry heard voices at the door and sat back down. Niall walked in carrying a sandwich and a juice and the other two were carrying water bottles. Harrys’ heart was beating fast like he had just come back from a run.

“So, is everything ok here?” Liam asked. He looked closer at Louis and Harry and saw their stony faces. “I suppose not.” He said and sighed. “Maybe we should call it a day and come back tomorrow and try again?” Liam looked at Zayn like he wanted some back-up.

“Yeah, how about we sleep on it.” Zayn said.

“Sounds good to me!” Niall said.

Harry stood and said good bye to the three lads, ignoring Louis and he and Niall left together. When they were back outside in the car park, in the fresh air, Harry felt himself start to calm down.

“It was awful.” Harry admitted to Niall as they walked to Harrys’ car.

“Yeah, walking back into that room just now I could feel the tension.” They got into Harrys’ car and Harry turned the key in the ignition.

“I don’t know what to do now.” Harry drove out of the car park. “Where will we go?”

“Let’s go back to yours. I want you to cook something for me.” Harry smiled and it was the first time in the last hour that he had.

 

They got back to Harrys’ and Niall stood in the kitchen with Harry, while Harry looked in his fridge to see what he could cook. He pulled out some mayonnaise. Then he opened the freezer and took out some fish-fingers, they’d have fish-finger sandwiches. Suddenly Harry started smiling.

“What are you smiling at Harry?” Niall asked.

“At least we got some good lyrics out of today. It sure as heck was tense, but at least we got some good lyrics!” Then he started laughing. Niall just looked at him, shaking his head.

“You’ve gone mental.” He said.

Harry took some bread out of the bread container on the bench and took out some slices lying them on the chopping board. They made their fish-finger sandwiches and sat at the table.

“What am I going to do about Louis?” Harry asked.

“I don’t know mate. You still love him don’t you?” It wasn’t really a question but Harry answered anyway.

“Yeah, I still love him. He is infuriating me though. I think I can see why he wanted to end it back then. I understand that maybe we were too young for something so serious. It was a big thing, the whole of it, the way it started... We just fit together and it was like he was exactly what I needed then.” Harry paused. “I can see that maybe he thought we needed to grow up a bit first and then see what would happen, that maybe we were too young to know what we wanted. It’s just that he broke my heart.”

“It seems to me like your heart would have been broken anyway.” Niall said. “He was leaving, whether he left while you were together or he left while you were friends it still would have hurt you Harry.” Niall said gently. “You can’t blame him for being in U6 form. He was always going to be leaving.” Harry thought about that. “I know the way he handled the situation was rough, he should have been honest with you. I’ve heard Liams’ song, it does sound like he liked you." Harry had told Niall that Louis had written the song. "And he was just giving into the inevitable of him leaving.” Harry sighed.

“You might be right.” Harry said and Niall grinned at him. “He was always going to be leaving and that was always going to hurt. Then even if we were in a relationship it would have sucked not to see him every day. We were only anchored in the same place for a year, for that one year. Maybe that’s all it was supposed to be for?”

Harry let that thought sit in the air between them and he seriously considered it. Maybe Louis was a school memory that was meant to stay there in school? Maybe he wasn’t meant to bring it with him when he graduated? Maybe Louis had been right in ending things when he did, before they really became boyfriends.

Harry pondered this and Niall let him, both sitting in silence. When they had finished eating Niall said he had to go because he had footie training. Harry offered to drive him there and Niall agreed.

When Harry had gotten back from taking Niall to his training Harry decided to go for a walk. He left his flat and walked down the street, his hands in his pockets. He and Louis weren’t really good at being friends, so Harry was glad that as soon as these two songs were written he wouldn’t have to see Louis again.

It would be easier to separate now than it had been back at Giggleswick when they had shared a room. When he got back to his flat his face was cold and he decided to have a warm shower. Under the water Harry smiled despite the turmoil in his heart. He was still surprised at the situation unfolding and really, all he could do was smile.

 

The next day when Harry and Niall walked into the room at the studio, they found the other three already there. Harry had asked Niall to come along again and Niall said yes without Harry begging. Harry didn’t question Zayns’ presence and the others’ didn’t question Nialls’.

Harry and Niall just walked in and said hello. Harry sat where he had been yesterday, Zayn was on the floor, Liam was beside Harry on the lounge, Louis was at the keyboard, papers on the keyboard music stand and Niall was walked over to look at the guitars.

“I’ve written some chords for the lyrics we wrote yesterday.” Louis said looking in the general direction of Harry but not making eye contact. Even though Harry had thought there was something good in what they’d written yesterday, he was still surprised that this song was happening.

Liam handed Harry a piece of paper with the lyrics typed up and the guitar chords on it and Harry saw that Louis had called the song _‘Us.’_ Harry stood up and went over to where Niall was and picked up a guitar. He sat back down on the lounge and put the paper beside him. He strummed a few chords to check if the guitar was tuned and when he found that it was he played the first chord written on the paper.

He went through the song and found that he quite liked what Louis had done with it. He looked over at Louis now, he was still at the keyboard and he was writing something on a paper. He looked so beautiful in his hoodie, his hair messed up just-so. Harry had to remind himself that he was working.

Louis seemed to sense that Harry was looking and he looked back at Harry.

“Should we go through it together now?” Louis asked.

Harry nodded and Louis counted them in. They started playing together, the keyboard and the guitar blending together and filling the room with music. Liam quietly sang beside him, this run through was mostly for the music. When they got to the end Harry and Louis looked across at each other and smiled.

Despite what the song was about and despite this weird heart break between them, Harry could appreciate how good this music was. The next time they went through it Liam and Harry both sang. Liam sang Louis’ part and Harry sang his own.

At the end of the session the five of them stayed and chatted together, strangely no-one was in a hurry to leave.

Harry learned that Zayn was an artist and had some work at a gallery and fairly frequently sold some of his paintings. He and Louis had met at an industry-type party for artistic people they’d been invited to. They had both separated from everyone else and had annoyed the waiters Aiden and James, who they were still friends with now.

Harry smiled, thinking that that was just like Louis. Niall and Zayn both agreed that the song was sounding good and Harry agreed. It would take a bit more time to get it just right though and they still had to write the second song. Harry was starting to not mind the amount of time it might take to get these songs written, being in the same room with Louis wasn’t so bad and at the most it would only be for a month.

The next morning Harry arrived at the studio alone, Niall was at training and Harry was feeling better about the writing now and didn’t think he needed to have Niall there, although it was good to spend time with him. Harry and Liam still hadn’t had their proper catch–up but it was nice to at least be in the same room as him. The night before they had stayed late talking and Harry felt good about the song progress. Harry hadn’t realized that they would be recording these two songs before the tour, so they had to work fast to get them ready.

When Harry walked into the studio he headed to the room they’d been using. There was no one there, the others not arrived yet. Harry wondered aimlessly around the room and then felt drawn to the keyboard. He let his fingers touch the keys, the same keys that Louis’ fingers had touched.

Then he looked at the papers on the music stand on the keyboard and his eyes read the first line _‘It’s you and only you.’_ Harry was well curious and he leaned closer to read more. He knew that this was written by Louis, he knew it was about him and it was making him angry. He read,

 _‘The best things can come and you don’t know until they’re gone,_  
_You know how great they were when you can’t have them anymore,_

 _I told you to forget about it but all I can do is remember,_  
_I said I was sorry that it happened but I was just a pretender,_

 _It’s you and only you,_  
_It’s you and only you,_  
_It’s you and only you,_  
_That I want, that I need._

 _I let my fingers let go too soon when I shouldn’t have let go of you,_  
_The truth is that I don’t want to be without you it just won’t ever do,_

 _I don’t want to go anywhere I’ll be in your life and never leave,_  
_We fit together just right that’s what I genuinely believe,’_

He was still standing at the keyboard when Louis walked in. Harry stayed standing where he was and the moment Harry looked up and saw Louis he knew they were going to talk about this now. Harry could see Liam about to walk in behind Louis and Zayn not far behind. Louis had only walked in a few steps and was now just stood still watching Harry.

Liam looked confused and Harry looked over the top of Louis so he could talk to Liam and Zayn.

“Please could you both give us some time?” Harry said. Liam looked at Louis’ back and then back to Harry.

“Ok, we’ll just be out here then.” Liam said and he turned to leave.

Harry watched them and saw that Zayn had put his hand out gently to Liam’s waist directing him as Liam turned and then they both left. Harry mindlessly wondered if there was something between those two.

Louis took a few steps forward and the movements made Harry take his attention from the closed door to the boy in front of him. Louis looked a bit angry and it matched Harrys’ state.

“Were you going to show me these lyrics?” Harry said pointing at the papers on the keyboard music stand.

Louis took another step forward and reached out his hand like he was going to snatch up the paper but then he let his hand fall to his side.

“I don’t know, probably not.” Louis said.

“This is utter rubbish!” Harry said gesturing at the paper and then stepping away from the keyboard. “If you wanted me, you would have done something about it. It’s been seven years! You can’t just go and write something like this when it’s rubbish!” Louis looked a bit taken aback.

“I screwed up Harry ok? I know I did. I wrote this because you weren’t listening to me when I was trying to apologise before, so I just wanted to write down what I was trying to say!” Harry just brushed past what Louis said and continued,

“I was starting to agree with you that maybe it was better we didn’t try and start a relationship then. It hurt thinking that you didn’t want me but maybe it was just supposed to be for that one year. Now, reading this.” Harry said. “You actually felt the same way as me back then? You made me think that you didn’t want me. That really hurts. That really hurts. I can’t believe you did that.” Harry was staring at Louis still trying to get his head around everything.

“I’ll tell you what hurts Harry.” Louis said and that made Harry instantly curious. “It’s when you made a band with Jon and Sandy and didn’t tell me. _They_ didn’t even tell me straight away. Then you and them were everywhere and that hurt.”

“It’s not like we were talking to each other then!” Harry said feeling disgruntled.

“That’s a moot point Harry. They are my friends, don’t you think that I should know that you and them were a band?”

Harry could see that Louis had a fair point and really Jon and Sandy were Louis’ friends first. But at the time it didn’t seem important for Louis to know, it’s not like they knew they would become successful.

Louis and Harry just stood angrily looking at each other when Nick came to the door telling Harry that it was his turn to record his vocals.

“If I have to.” Harry sighed and turned on his heel following Nick out of the room. When Harry was in the hallway outside, he felt himself calm down a bit. “Sorry.” Harry said to Nick. “I didn’t mean to be rude to you.”

“No worries mate.” Nick said and led Harry into the recording studio. “So you’ll sing your part in the song, Liam already recorded his part.”

He did? Harry wondered. Had he and Louis been arguing for that long? Harry went behind the glass and could see the sheet music on the music stand there. He put the head phones on and looked at the paper. He heard Nick tell him to start and he sang the first line.

He went through the song and while he was singing the second line in his last verse, _‘How could I stay when you didn’t want me?’_ his eye went to Louis’ last verse and the third line jumped out at him, _‘I loved you so much and that scared me too,’_

The words cut through and sank into his brain. At first it made him angry because if Louis had loved him, how could he just disappear from Harrys’ life? He stayed angry but then a different emotion hit him. Louis had loved him then. The beautiful boy that Harry had loved, still loved, had loved him back. His heart jumped. Both boys had loved each other and hadn’t known.

Then Harry looked at the next line, _‘I’m sorry ok? I know it was the wrong thing to do.’_ Harry didn’t read it as an angry off-handed remark, he read it as an honest apology and he started to look at things a bit differently.

Harry finished recording the rest of the song while thinking about everything. He still didn’t really know why Louis had stayed quiet for seven years, he could understand now that they both needed to grow up a bit first but why had the separation lasted so long? He felt softer towards Louis now though because maybe they had both missed each other, and Harry knew how painful it was to wake up to an empty spot beside him in bed.

When the recording was finished Harry left and walked back to the room they’d been using. He poked his head around the door to see if Louis was still there. The room was empty though and Harry felt disappointed. He stayed standing in the doorway feeling tired and a bit sub-dued, his argument with Louis earlier and then the recording had taken up a lot of his energy.

He finally turned around and left the room and walked back down the hallway. Something made him stop at one of the doors and he looked through the little glass window on the door. He could see Louis sat at a big grand piano playing.

Harry was transfixed to the sight he could see of Louis’ profile. He seemed to be lost in the music and Harry was getting lost in Louis. Harry opened the door and walked in quietly and walked around to the piano. Louis looked up and saw Harry, surprise on his face but kept playing, his face showed a decision process. At first he was going to ignore Harry and then he looked resigned and his fingers left the keys.

“Hi.” Harry said standing to Louis’ right. Louis looked up at him confused. “I wanted to talk to you and clear something up.” Harry said. Louis swiveled a bit to his right so he could properly look at Harry.

“Yeah?” Louis said. Harry could see that Louis too was not angry and defensive anymore.

“Yeah, I wanted to tell you that I wasn’t calling your song rubbish, just the meaning behind it.” Louis looked wearily at him. “But I don’t think the meaning of it is rubbish anymore.” Harry said quietly. “I think you are really good at this.” Harry gestured to the piano and the room. Louis turned more to face Harry and looked at him like he was trying to see if he meant it.

“You don’t think what I wrote in the song is a lie now?” Louis asked dubiously.

“I don’t think so, no. I was hurt and that turned into anger. I’m sorry.” Harry said.

Louis kept looking at Harry and then slid to the left of the piano bench and patted the spot beside him. Harry slowly moved forward and sat next to Louis, their legs and arms touching. The contact brought back a lot of memories all at once and he looked at Louis and knew it did for him too.

“I don’t really know why I didn’t keep in contact with you Harry.” Louis said slowly like he was trying to connect with the truth from back then. “You were the loveliest person I had ever met and that scared me. It was like I just wanted you to give me your attention. I liked making you laugh and I liked talking to you. I hadn’t felt like that before and I didn’t know how to handle it. I always loved being with you and you always made me smile. I was scared of the day I would leave because I knew it would hurt, so I suppose I pushed you away instead. You are just so good, so, so good.” Harry reached out his left hand and put it on Louis’ hand that was in his lap. Louis looked up at him and then continued. “Then the longer the silence went on the more awkward it was to just ring you. Then you became super-successful and it just seemed ridiculous that I would try and contact you then.” Louis stretched out his legs and then crossed them at the ankles. “I know it sounds stupid now, but I really just wanted you to belong to everyone, I wanted everyone to know you. Like you were too much for one person and one person shouldn’t get all of you. Like it would be selfish if I kept you to myself. You’re just so good baby.” Louis said keeping his eyes down and Harry squeezed his hand.

“I only wanted you Lou.” Harry said softly and Louis shyly looked up at him. “I’m sorry too, I suppose there was a bit of vindictiveness in not telling you that Sandy, Jon and I made a band, at least in the beginning. But then I suppose I was like you and the longer the silence the more weird it would be to ring you.”

“I loved you back then.” Louis said. “You were so adorable, from the first night. I was really hoping that Caroline wouldn’t be able to sort out the rooms and we would get to stay together in that room.” Harry made a surprised noise and bumped his shoulder into Louis.’ Louis bumped him back.

“I wanted to stay with you too.” Harry said smiling at him, knowing his dimples were showing. They bumped their shoulders in to each others’ and then Louis stopped and got serious, he turned so his whole face was facing Harry.

“I am really sorry I made you think that I didn’t like you. That must have been a really rubbish feeling with all we’d been through that year. You made that year so good for me.”

“You made my year really good too Lou.” They sat grinning at each other and Harry knew that they had forgiven each other.

“I’ve missed you babe.” Louis said.

“I’ve missed you too.” Harry said. “You’re really good at playing the piano. Play for me now?” Louis grinned.

“Anything for you love.” Louis said and began to play.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't copy, that's not nice. (Plagiarism is bad)  
> All song lyrics are my own original lyrics.  
> This is fiction, none of it happened.

When Harry woke up the next morning his mind immediately went back to the night before. He and Louis had stayed late at the studio and Louis had played and taught Harry a few bits, they’d talked and laughed and Harry had felt the distance of the last seven years disappear. They were in a new place. They were friends, but not the ‘friends’ they’d claimed to be after that last Easter.

Harry liked it, liked seeing Louis happy like he’d been back at Giggleswick.

Harry arrived at the studio at the same time as Louis the next morning and they walked in together. It felt nice to have Louis beside him again. They walked into the room that they had been using and Louis sat down on the lounge. Harry plopped down beside Louis so they were sitting close. Louis got out his phone and showed Harry photos of his sisters, his mum and his step dad, their heads were bent forwards almost touching.

The door opened not long later and Liam walked in, with Zayn behind him. The two of them stood not far from the lounge and Harry saw Liam move closer to Zayn so they were shoulder-to-shoulder. Liam looked at Harry and Louis sat close together on the lounge, Louis’ phone still in his hand.

Liam looked bemused and smirked.

“What’s going on here then?” Liam said.

“I was about to ask you the same thing.” Louis said and the two of them stared at each other with raised eyebrows. Liam gave in first.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Liam said and looked at Zayn who was just smiling.

“Oh, you’re being coy, how nice. I’m talking about you and Zayn looking all cuddly, do you have something to tell us?” Liam blushed and Zayn laughed and put his arm around Liams’ waist.

“I think you should go first actually.” Zayn said. “Harry, you looked like you wanted to kill him yesterday.”Harry looked appalled. To be fair though he had been pretty angry yesterday, the thought seemed foreign now. He didn’t feel that way about the boy sat beside him now, who he could feel the warmth of. “Now you two look like you’re best-friends.”

“Ah, you know me Zayn, so irresistible when I get my charm out.” Louis said Harry laughed fondly and Zayn snorted.

“Yeah mate, whatever you reckon.” Then Zayn got more serious. “You two sorted it out then?” Louis looked at Harry and the two shared a smile. “Oh, it’s like that then is it? All mushy?” Liam came over then, seeming to come out of his stupor and he sat on the arm rest of the lounge next to Harry.

“I’m just glad you two are friends again.” Liam said.

“So am I.” Harry said. “So what are we doing today?” Harry asked.

“I think we should get out of the studio. Let’s go and ignite our senses and find the muse that stimulates us to write the second song.” Louis suggested.

The other three laughed and Louis stretched out and landed half on Harrys’ lap and half on Liam still sat on the arm rest. Zayn stepped forward and sat on Louis and then Liam rolled off the arm rest and on to the lounge next to Harry. They all squirmed and got more tangled up in each other and they laughed and complained but didn’t immediately try to get up.

“Where’s Niall?” Louis asked from where he was his face half off the lounge cushion, the rest of his body on Harrys’ lap and the lounge beside Harry.

“He’s at training.” Harry answered. Louis started to sit up more and Zayn sat up too and sat on the back of the lounge. Louis had a gleam in his eye and Harry just smiled at him.

“How about we go and visit him?” Louis said.

“Yeah, ok.” Harry said getting out his phone. “I’ll text him.”

“Tell him that even if he says no, we’re still coming.” Louis said and leaned his head back against Zayns’ legs.

Zayn put his hands on Louis’ shoulders and Harry looked over at them and felt a little twinge of something inside. He looked back to his phone and realized that Niall probably won’t see the text, since he wouldn’t have it with him while he was training. At least Harry had tried to tell Niall about them coming.

“I suppose we’ll just go and turn up?” Harry said and put a hand on Louis’ leg.

“I’m up for igniting our senses, let’s go.” Liam said standing up.

Harry stood too and when Louis stood, separating himself from Zayn, Harry felt much better.

The three of them left the studio and Louis said they could go in his car. Harry sat in the front passenger seat and Louis drove, with Zayn and Liam in the back. They talked back and forth and then Louis turned the radio up.

When they arrived at the training ground Harry knew where to go, since he’d been with Niall before. They walked inside and a security that Harry knew stopped them but when he saw Harry he let them go past.

The four of them sat a few rows from the front, in the stands.Harry could see Niall and watched him for a while before turning back to the lads beside him. Louis was sat forward intently watching the training and Harry remembered how much Louis had loved playing football at Giggleswick.

“Do you miss it?” Harry asked Louis quietly who was sat beside him. Louis turned his head to the side to look at Harry.

“Yeah.” He said wistfully. “But not enough to give up what I have now.” Harry reached into Louis’ lap and took his hand, squeezing it.

“It would be a right shame to not hear you on the piano.” Harry said.

Louis looked up at him and the two of them smiled. Then they looked back to the field, but Harry kept his hand in Louis’ lap. Louis laced their fingers together and it made Harrys’ heart feel warmed.

Niall had spotted them not long after they had arrived and at the end of training after Niall had had a shower he came to the stands to see them. Harry stood, letting go of Louis’ hand and hugged him.

“We’re your personal fan base.” Harry said. Niall laughed and said ‘hi’ to the others. Niall had his bag slung over his shoulder and asked,

“What are you boys doing here? I thought you had a song to write?”

“We’re finding our stimulation. Was that it Louis?” Zayn asked.

“Don’t knock it Zayn, I’d say we’ll get a brilliant song out of our little jaunt.” Louis said and hooked his elbow with Harrys’. “Let’s go. You’re coming too.” Louis said to Niall.

Niall just laughed and followed.

The five of them went back to Louis’ car and Louis started driving them back. “Where are we going to go boys?” Louis asked. “What’s something that you’ve always wanted to do? Today is the day to do it.”

“How about we go to the London Eye!” Niall said. “I haven’t been on that.”

“How about it boys? I say yes.” Liam said. Zayn agreed and that made Louis snort and Zayn say he hasn’t been on it either.

The decision was made and Louis drove them to the south bank of the river Thames. They paid an exuberant parking fee and then they walked to the London Eye.

Harry was well aware that he could be spotted by fans and so could Liam. He looked over at Liam and the two of them caught each others’ eye and smiled and Liam made a motion of pulling the brim of a hat down over his eyes. They walked along, a slightly cool breeze blowing against them.

“I dare you to leap-frog over that guide post.” Louis said to Liam. Liam gave Louis a look, then quickly looked around, put his hands on the top of the post and leap-frogged over it. Then Liam turned to look back at the others who were slowly catching up to him. Louis looked proud.

“You did it in one try too, good boy.” Louis said.

They kept walking and then Harry heard voices behind him.

“Harry? Harry, can we have a photo.” The others heard it too and they all turned around. Harry looked around quickly to see if the girls had brought attention to them, they hadn’t.

“Yeah, I’ll take a photo.” Harry said and joined the two girls. They were giggling and trying to contain themselves.

“I can’t believe I am meeting you now!” One of them said and Harry just smiled at them.

He stood in between the girls and one of them reached out her hand with her phone and took a photo. Harry looked over to see Louis, who was standing, quietly absorbing what he was seeing. Then he looked at the others and could see Liam turning away, it was too late though because the two girls saw him. One of them nearly hyper-ventilated and Harry put his hand on her arm to steady her.

Liam took photos with them and then Liam said they had to go and told them to enjoy the rest of their day. The two girls turned and so did the boys. The boys kept going in the direction of the London Eye.

“I suppose they weren’t a football fan.” Niall dead-panned and Harry hip-bumped him.

They got to the London Eye and joined the queue. Behind them and in front of them were older people so Harry didn’t think they’d be recognized. He was wrong though, one of them must have recognized their voices because she turned around and did a double-take.

“Harry? Liam? Could I take a photo, my daughter and I are huge fans.” Harry and Liam obliged and this time when Harry caught Louis’ eye they shared a knowing smile. “And could I have a photo with you too Niall? My husband is fan of yours.” Niall grinned at the others and then posed with the woman.

The five of them chatted to the other woman for the rest of the time they were in the queue and then it was their turn to get in to a capsule. They were lucky enough to get a capsule to themselves and then they were sealed in.

 _‘I’m in the London Eye,”_ Louis sang. Niall snorted.

“You better come up with something better than that mate.” Niall said.

 _“Niall loves me and I don’t have to try.”_ Niall just laughed.

The five of them stood against the glass and looked out at the Thames. “How romantic for us.” Harry said.

“I’ll say! Best date ever.” Niall said. “I got a song sung to me.”

“I am very romantic.” Louis said.

Harry blushed and hoped no-one could see. Harry and Louis were stood next to each other and they kept leaning over to whisper in each others’ ears little observations they were pointing out to each other.

When they had been around one revolution the five of them hopped off and started walking with no plan as to where they were going. They were on the riverside path and slowly walking along. Harry took out his phone and got a selfie with the other boys with the Thames behind them.

They were left alone and they made their way along and got to a street stall selling drinks and they all got a bottle of water.

“So what are we going to do now?” Louis asked after he had taken a sip.

“I say we find somewhere for lunch, I’m hungry.” Niall said.

The others agreed and they found somewhere to buy fish and chips and sat on a park bench looking out at the river.

“What’s your favourite thing to put on chips?” Liam asked.

“I like tomato sauce.” Harry said and Niall said he liked lemon squeezed over them.

“I think just a bit of salt.” Zayn said and Liam looked at him in awe.

“Me too.” Liam said.

“Ok, you two, I can feel the fond from here.” Louis said and bumped his knee into Zayns’ who was sitting beside him.

A few girls walked past and asked for photos and Liam and Harry both obliged and then chatted to them for a bit. Harry kept looking over at Louis and knew he was thinking about not being selfish and sharing Harry with others.

When the girls had left Harry and Liam joined the three boys again and they finished eating. Then they scrunched up the paper, put it in the bin and started walking back to the car.

Harry and Louis let the others walk ahead of them and the two of them talked.

“Alright?” Harry asked Louis, who was a bit quiet.

“Yeah, I’m better than alright. I am quite marvelous.”

“Is that so?” Harry said a big smile on his face.

“Yeah Mr Dimples.”

That just made Harry smile more and Louis reached out his hand and took Harrys’ giving it a squeeze and then letting go. It was getting quite cold and Harry put his hands in the front pockets of his coat. Louis started humming then and Harry wanted to reach out and hold Louis’ hand and not let go, but he didn’t.

They got back to the car and Louis drove them back to the studio, the radio on and a happiness in the air.

Back at the studio the five of them walked back in and went to their room. Zayn sat on the floor and pulled out his sketch book from his canvas bag sat on the floor. Harry went over to the wall where the guitars were and picked one up. He carried it back to the lounge and sat with it on his knee. Liam sat on the floor beside Zayn and Louis sat beside Harry and Niall beside him.

Harry played a few chords trying to find the right ones for the tune Louis had been humming on the walk back to the car just now. When Harry had just about got it he looked up at Louis, seeing that he was watching him. They exchanged glances both knowing what Harry was doing.

“Is that an original tune?” Harry asked Louis.

“Yeah, it is.”

“I wonder if we could use it?”

They mucked around with it then and made up funny lyrics to go with what Harry was playing. Zayn was drawing in his sketch book and Liam was watching, and Niall was joining in with Harry and Louis.

It was getting late and Niall said he had to go. Harry said he was ready to go too feeling tired, like maybe the jet-lag was catching up with him. Niall and Harry both left and Harry drove him back to his flat. Then Harry went home.

He walked inside and walked through to his bedroom in the dark. He felt quite tired and was looking forward to a warm shower and his bed. It was the week-end tomorrow and Harry was glad to be able to have a break. He put his phone on his bedside table and went to have a shower and then went back to his bedroom. He pulled back the blankets on his bed and heard his phone buzz.

He picked it up and saw that he had a text from Liam, it said, _‘We still haven’t had our catch uppp. How about tomorrowww?’_

Harry sat on the side of his bed and typed, _‘Tomorrow is good, Lets’ do lunch, noon? I’ll pick you up from yours. H’_

Liam was quick to reply, _‘Okkkk’_

Harry put his phone down and sat back on his bed leaning on the bed head with his book in his lap. He heard his phone buzz and he looked over seeing the screen lit up, he picked up his phone and saw something he hadn’t seen in seven years and it made him smile. Harry read the text.

 _‘Sleep well babe. X’_ It was like Louis was back.

Harry just sat and smiled stupidly at the text and then wrote back, _‘You too, Sweet dreams babe. XX_ ’

Harry felt so good typing those words, it felt so right. Harry put his phone back on his bedside table and put his book next to it. Then he lay down and turned off his bedside light.

The next morning Harry woke up when his body woke up, he hadn’t wanted to set an alarm. He lay in bed a bit longer and then got up. He made his bed and then got dressed in black skinny jeans and a black shirt with a purple and black checkered shirt over it, the top three buttons un-done. He made himself some cereal and then did some of his washing. He then drove over to Liams’ flat.

He parked out the front and then went up. Liam met him at the door and they hugged, then they walked back downstairs and out to Harrys’ car. When they were sitting in the car Liam suggested a place to go and Harry drove them there,

“How are you finding being back?” Liam asked over the roof of the car as they both shut their doors. “It’s quiet isn’t it?” Harry met Liam round his side and they crossed the road.

“Yeah, but I think I like the quiet of my own flat rather than the quiet of a hotel room.”

“Yeah, I think I do too.”

They walked through the front door of the restaurant, it was one that Liam said he is rarely recognized at. They chose somewhere to sit and a waitress brought them the menus.

“I think it’s been good that we’re doing this, the song writing, because it’s like I’m working and keeping busy without really working. It’s hard to just ‘be home’ after being on tour.” Harry said and then they ordered their drinks.

“That was some song you and Louis wrote a few days ago.” Liam said, looking at him questioningly. Harry looked back at him and fiddled with a button on his shirt, memory of the emotion he was feeling that day, coming back to him.

“Yeah, we hadn’t ever talked about what happened and then it all came out in that song.” The waitress brought their drinks to them then and they ordered their food. When she was gone Liam looked at Harry like he was trying to decide what to say.

“Louis told me what happened.” Liam said trying to read Harry, to see if he was upset that he knew. Harry didn’t mind that Liam knew, he’d told Ed, Jesy and Jade after it had happened.

“Yeah, it was pretty messy, but I think we are moving on from it now.” Liam was quiet, sipping his drink.

“What?” Harry asked.

“I’m glad you guys are trying to work things out.” Liam said looking up from his drink. “Louis was pretty cut up about it.” Liam paused. “We were in a writing session and our theme was surrender. I was going through a time where I had to let go of my boyfriend and he told me that he had let go of the boy he liked and he wished he hadn’t. Later after our first writing session together last Monday he told me the boy was you.”

Liam was looking at him gently like he was trying to see how Harry was taking it. Harry sat still and let it sink in. He wanted to be able to blame Louis and make him wear both their pain but he only felt softness towards him. Louis had missed him, and knew he shouldn’t have surrendered. It was what Harry had wanted since Louis had left, for Louis to return his feelings and that was what he was hearing now.

“He told me he had written a song not long after the kiss and he showed it to me.” Liam continued. “It was a lot of what I was feeling and he said I could have the song. I’ve realized this week that you hearing the song when you were in Australia must have been really weird.”

Harry smiled and the waitress came with their food. They thanked her and she left. They dropped the conversation and ate instead. Harry took a sip of his drink and looked around the room at the other people sitting at nearby tables. He could see through the window that it was quite grey outside, people with umbrellas hurrying along on the foot path.

All the stuff Liam had just told him about Louis, was stuff that Louis had told him, but hearing it from someone else made it seem more real.

After a while Harry put down his fork and asked Liam about Zayn. It wasn’t just what he had noticed between the two of them, it was the way Louis was acting too that made Harry believe there was something with those two. Liam blushed.

“I’ve known Zayn as long as Louis has, he introduced us. He knew about my boyfriend and I breaking up and he, being so sly, thought me and Zayn would be good together.” Harry smiled around the fork he had just put in his mouth. He took the fork out and sat it back on his plate, chewing his mouthful.

“And do you think you’d be good together?” Harry asked. Liam didn’t answer for a few seconds and then he took a deep breath.

“He makes me really happy, I’ve always said no because it just doesn’t ever seem to be the right time, if there ever is a right time. I am so busy with recording and touring and interviews, this is the first time in a long time that the two of us have spent consecutive days together. Something feels different about it this time though.”

“Yeah?” Harry said, feeling something inside him.

“Yeah.” It didn’t look like Liam was going to say anything else, he kept eating instead and Harry did the same. “I’m just tired of not trying, tired of giving in to things that I don’t want. It is exhausting to keep saying no, when it feels so right. I want it to work, I want to try and make it work.”Liam said.

Liam looked at Harry and Harry wondered if he was thinking about his own situation, or of Harrys’ like Harry was.

At the end of their lunch Harry drove Liam home and then went back to his flat. He walked inside, washed his hands and went to his bedroom to get his guitar. He felt like playing and he sat on the lounge and let the music be his emotions and he let it all out. An hour? Two? later Harry heard his phone buzz and picked it up from his coffee table where he had put it and read the text, it was from Louis.

_‘Having a good day H? X’_

Harry let his fingers immediately reply and he told Louis that Liam and he had had lunch. The two of them kept up the conversation until bed time. Harry felt like things were different this time for him too. It wasn’t like Louis and he were trying to be ‘friends’ like they were after the Easter holidays.

Back then, Harry had had a broken heart and every interaction with Louis smarted. Now, his heart wasn’t broken and he was different to what he was back then. He went to sleep that night feeling like things were more up the right way.

 

The next morning Harry was watching TV when his phone buzzed with a text from Louis, it said, _‘Sleep well? It’s a TV day today. XX’_

Harry stood up and went into his kitchen and opened the cupboard to take out a cup, he sat it on the bench and then wrote back, _‘Pretty good. Do you want to come over, we could watch TV together? XXX’_

Louis replied _‘Yes’ :)X'_ and Harry poured himself some water and took his cup back into the lounge room. Not long later Harry let Louis inside, he was wearing tracksuit pants and a hoodie.

“You’re right when you said it was a TV day today.” Harry said. “That’s all I’ve been doing.”

The two of them sat close on the lounge, sharing a blanket and watching a film. Harry tried to keep his eyes open he probably still had jet-lag, he didn’t know. He felt warm and cosy laid back on the pillows with Louis beside him, that he went to sleep.

He woke up sometime later and saw that Louis had fallen asleep too. It was the first time in seven years that Harry had seen Louis asleep and he just sat and looked at the beautiful boy lying with his head on one of the lounge cushions. Louis must have sensed somehow that Harry was watching him because he opened his eyes and looked directly into Harrys’ eyes.

“Hi.” Louis said, not moving.

Harry didn’t move either, couldn’t move. His eyes staying on beautiful blue ones. Louis sat up and Harry reached out a hand to him. Louis brought his hand out from under the blanket and put it in Harrys.’

“You’re so beautiful.” Harry said. Louis squeezed his hand and they looked at each other.

“And you’re so good love. So, so good and I don’t want to be selfless anymore. I need you. I want to be selfish. Everyone will have to share you with me.” Harry smiled at him.

“Good.” Harry said and then Louis leaned in closer.

Harrys’ heart started beating faster and there was a moment of fear that this was going to end badly. Louis seemed to know what Harry was feeling and he put his free hand up into Harrys’ hair, tangling his fingers. Harry leaned forward and then Louis closed the gap and their lips met. Louis’ lips were soft and warm and fit with Harrys’, and it made Harry feel connected.

The kiss was warm and knowing, it felt like it was full of faith. After a while they pulled away and looked at each other, their faces close. Louis let his hand slide out of Harrys’ hair and rest on his chest.

“I loved you back then.” Louis said. “And I still love you, I never stopped. I was foolish to let you go, I’m so sorry.” Harry reached out a hand and moved some of Louis’ fringe off his forehead.

“I’m sorry too, about letting us go. Let’s say that this is the last time that we apologise for this.” Harry said and squeezed Louis’ hand.

“Ok, it might be the last time I say it, but I can’t promise I won’t stop feeling it.”

“I love you.” Harry said and smiled at the beautiful boy looking up at him. “I didn’t stop loving you either. You’re the best Lou.” Harry leaned his face forward so his nose touched Louis’ nose. “I don’t want you to be sorry anymore and I don’t want to be sorry anymore.”

“You’re the best Harold.” Louis said and Harry put his arms around the other boy and pulled him close for a cuddle. They stayed like that for a while and then Harry got up to make them both tea.

The next morning was Monday. Louis had left late the night before and Harry still couldn’t believe what had happened. He and Louis were boyfriends. He hummed while he made his breakfast and realized that it was the tune that Louis had been humming and he’d been playing on Friday.

He ate his breakfast, brushed his teeth and drove himself to the studio. When he walked in Louis and Liam were already there. Niall wasn’t coming, he had something else on. Harry walked over to where Louis and Liam were sat on the lounge and couldn’t help himself from kissing Louis on the lips when he said Hello. Liam looked between them, looking dumb-struck.

“You two are together then?” Liam asked his face turning into a big smile.

Louis and Harry both looked at each other, smiled and then nodded at Liam. Liam hugged them both saying he was so glad they had sorted everything out.

“Is Zayn coming today?” Harry asked Liam. Liam shook his head and sat back down. “I don’t think so.”

“Why isn’t he?” Louis asked.

“I don’t know, he had something else on?” Liam said.

The three of them then talked about what the theme for their next song should be. Louis got up and went over to the keyboard and played some of the tune they’d played on Friday. Harry started singing out loud,

 _‘It’s an inevitable love,_  
_Inevitable love,_  
_It’s an inevitable love,_  
_We have, we have.’_

Louis looked over at Harry and smiled. “That could be our chorus? That’s a good theme, inevitable love, I like it.” Louis said.

“Yeah, I think so too.” Liam said, and then he said quietly, “Quite fitting.”

They wrote some lyrics down and played around with the tune and then Louis sang,

 _‘I think it’s fair to say,_  
_That we tried to stay away,_  
_Some things though,_  
_Are meant to be,’_

Harry grinned stupidly at Louis not caring what Liam might think. Louis was just grinning back at him. Then Liam came out with,

 _‘Some people are,_  
_Friends when they meet,_  
_Both their souls are,_  
_Already steeped,’_

Louis and Harry both looked at each other again then looked at Liam, he was writing those lyrics down. It sounded like Liam was coming to terms with something.

Louis played the tune on the keyboard and Liam started to sing it again, then he stopped and just looked down at his hands in his lap, fiddling with his fingers.

He looked up and saw the other two looking at him and said, “I think I’ve been a bit of an idiot.” Louis came round from the keyboard and sat beside him on the lounge. Harry scooted closer too, so Liam was in between them.

“What are you thinking?” Louis asked gently, his voice soothing even Harrys’ insides. Liam put a hand up to his head and then let it drop back to his lap.

“Zayn and I, why have I kept saying no to us?” Harry put his arm around Liams’ shoulders and they all didn’t say anything. “I don’t want to lose him, what if I already have?” Liam looked up at Louis something passed between them, “I don’t know if I’ll be as lucky as you boys.”

“You need to tell him.” Louis said and looked at Harry and Harry just looked silently back at him, nodding.

“I’ve liked Zayn since I met him.” Liam said. “Since you introduced us.” He said to Louis. “We were friends when we met, it was like our souls were already friends. We didn’t have to warm up to each other, at least, I didn’t, and all this time I just keep coming back to him.”

Louis put his arm around Liam from his other side and the three of them sat with their heads close together for a while. Then Louis got up and went back over to the keyboard and played some of the song so far.

They heard the door open then and all three heads looked over to see who was there. They saw a dark-haired boy with deep eyes step in. Harry felt Liam stiffen and he took his arm down from around Liams’ shoulders. Harry nudged him with his elbow and Liam stood up.

“Hi.” Zayn said looking at all of them individually.

“Hi.” Louis said and stepped towards him.

“Ashton rang me this morning and said he wants me to draw you and Liam.” Zayn said looking at Harry and then at Liam. “To go with your two new singles.”

“Zayn, can I talk to you first?” Liam said and Harry watched as Zayn looked a bit worried before he said yes and let Liam follow him out of the room.

Louis sat beside Harry on the lounge after the other two had left and they looked at each other wondering what would happen.

“Would it be wrong to go and eavesdrop on them?” Louis asked with a smirk. Harry laughed.

“Yeah, it would be.” Then Louis kissed him.

“It is so marvelous isn’t it?” Louis said.

“What is?” Harry asked biting his bottom lip.

“Both of us sat here, we can kiss any time we want to.”

“Like right now?” Harry asked.

“Yes.” And the two of them kissed again before Louis stood up and went back over to the keyboard. He played a few chords and then sang,

 _‘Time goes past but,_  
_Things don’t move,_  
_I still think about,_  
_What we used to do,’_

Harry stood up and went over to stand beside Louis, watching his gentle fingers on the keys. Harry started to sing,

 _‘Are we really standing here?_  
_Breathing in the same air?’_

Louis nudged Harrys’ shoulder with his own and looked up at him smirking. “I’d say we are Harold.”

Harry just put his arm around Louis’ shoulders and kissed his cheek. Louis smiled at him and snuggled in close to Harry. Then Harry motioned for Louis to keep playing, so Louis did and Harry sang,

 _‘You’re smiling at me,_  
_And it’s all I want to see.’_

“I think we have the song finished.” Louis said. “What do you say love?”

“I think we have a finished song too.”

Harry wrote down the verse he’d just sung and then looked up at Louis, they smiled at each other and Harry went and sat back down on the lounge while Louis wrote down the music.

The door opened and Harry looked over to see Liam walk in looking happy and a bit dazed, followed by Zayn who had his hand on Liams’ waist.

“You two are only allowed in here if you have everything sorted Payne.” Louis said.

“We must have known that.” Liam said “Because Zayn has been very gracious and he is now my boyfriend, I’m his boyfriend, Boyfriends.”

Harry walked over and hugged them. He felt relief and he wondered if some of it was some of his own, that he and Louis had sorted things out too. If this was a different situation and one of his friends was telling him that he and the boy he liked had sorted things out, it would have hurt. Because he’d have thought of Louis and seen how on sorted things were with him.

Harry looked over at Louis now and smiled gratefully at him. Louis came over to him and they smiled.

There was a knock on the door and Ashton and Perrie walked in and joined the other four in the middle of the room.

“Oh good, you’re all here.” Ashton said. The others looked at each other and then back at Ashton. “I’ve been looking at twitter and saw the photos you took with fans at the South Bank on Friday. There is a very good response to it, massive. It’s clear that ‘Lirry’ is very loved. It’s proof that Perries’ idea of Harry joining Liam on tour is brilliant.”

Perrie looked pleased and Harry smiled at her.

“How are the songs coming along?” Perrie asked looking at Harry.

“We’ve just finished the second one.” Harry said. Liam looked at him surprised. “Yep, the first draft anyway.”

“That’s splendid.” Ashton said. “We’ll leave you to it then.”

They all shook hands and then Perrie and Ashton left.

“This is amazing, a lot of good things all at once.” Liam said. “I have a lovely boyfriend, the tour is looking good and now the second song is finished.”

“Yes, I’ll play it for you. We’ve kept your second verse Liam.” Louis said and walked back to the keyboard and picked up the paper with the lyrics and gave it to Liam who had followed him over.

The three of them stood next to Louis and Louis began to play. “The first verse is yours Harry.” Louis said over playing. Harry started singing and then Louis said they would both sing the chorus. Liam sang the second verse and Harry saw Zayn look at Liam surprised and touched. Then Liam sang the third verse, they both sang the chorus and then Harry sang the fourth verse and they both sang the chorus twice. At the end of the song Louis and Harry looked at Liam and Zayn to see what they thought. Zayn looked a little speechless and Liam said he loved it.

“It was really good.” Zayn said and then went to his bag and took out his sketch book and sat on the lounge. “I’ll get started drawing.” He said.

Liam and Harry stayed at the keyboard with Louis and they went through the song again making music changes and giving their ideas for how it would sound. Harry went over to the wall where the guitars were and picked one up, bringing it back to the keyboard. He worked out some chords and played them, then he went over to the lounge and sat on the arm rest facing the keyboard and played some more.

Zayn was looking up from his sketch book to Liam and back down. Harry looked over at Zayn sometimes on the lounge behind him to see what he had done so far and liked watching him work. Harry went back to the keyboard and they played it through all together again. Zayn was looking at Harry now, drawing him.

Time went by fast and hours later, they thought that they had finished it, ready for recording. Louis came around from the keyboard and plopped down on the lounge beside Zayn. Harry walked over too and sat beside Louis and Liam sat beside Zayn.

“I think we could say that my idea of our little jaunt on Friday was a good idea.” Louis said. Zayn put down his pencil and looked at Louis.

“Yeah, we could say that.” Zayn said and put his arm along the back of the lounge behind Liam.

“I’d say we found our muses.” Louis looked at Harry who was attentively looking at him. “Or realize who our muses already were.” Liam smiled warmly at Louis and Harry put his head on Louis’ shoulder.

It was quite a mushy moment but Harry was too happy to care. He had been without Louis for seven years. He had thought about Louis so much in that time and hoped that they would see each other again and get back what they had. He just didn’t really think it would happen.

Now, he was sat beside the beautiful boy that he had fallen in love with when he was sixteen and every part of him was smiling. There was no-one else that Harry wanted to be sat beside as much as Louis. It was like Louis fit there so perfectly, like the parts of themselves were meant to line up like they did.

It made Harrys’ heart skip a beat when he thought about what it would have been like if Perrie hadn’t of had the idea to get Harry to join Liam on tour, if Louis didn’t work for the record label, if it wasn’t him who was asked to write songs with Liam and Harry. If all those things hadn’t of happened, or if just one of those things hadn’t of happened Harry wouldn’t have seen Louis again.

Maybe they would have years from now, no-one would know that now. But Harry was just so grateful that he didn’t have to wait anymore years to see this beautiful boy again.

He was so grateful too for Louis to actually like him back. To have him feel the same way as Harry was a lovely feeling. Harry had the real boy to give his love to now and not a memory, a hope, a dream. The real Louis Tomlinson, sat beside him now, his boyfriend.

Harry felt so lucky. He had made it in the music industry and was so lucky that people loved his songs and loved coming to the shows. He was lucky that he had Jon and Sandy with him in the band, lucky that he could travel all over the world and see all those different countries. And the biggest thing he was lucky to have was Louis loving him back.

To not have that one-sided anymore was the best thing.

The four of them sat there a bit longer when Niall came in. He had a cheeky smile on his face and he took out his phone from his pocket and took a photo of the four of them on the lounge cuddled together.

“Now, I wasn’t expecting this to be honest.” Niall said and walked over to them. He sat on Harrys’ lap and then lay down on the rest of them. “It is a nice surprise though.” Harry poked him in the chest and Niall just laughed and then he sat up and moved to sit on the arm rest of the lounge next to Harry. “So you and Liam?” Niall said to Zayn. Harry had told Niall about him and Louis the night before. Zayn smiled and answered,

“Yep, me and Liam.”

“So, not that I’m not glad about that, but what are we doing today?” Niall asked.

“How about FIFA?” Louis suggested and Niall grinned at him.

“You are my kind of lad.” Niall said. “Can we go to yours?” Niall asked Harry.

Harry nodded and they all slowly stood. Harry looked at the time on his phone and saw that it was four o’clock. They made plans that since Liam had come with Louis they would go to Harrys’ together, Niall who had been dropped off at the studio by his friend would go with Harry, and Zayn would take himself.

The four of them walked out in to the October air, it was nippy and Harry put his hands into his coat pockets.

Niall and Harry got into Harrys’ car and once they had their seatbelts on Niall grinned at Harry. “I am so happy for you, you and Louis.” Niall said.

It still sounded amazing to Harry. Harry drove to Tescos’ on the way home to buy some ingredients so he could cook tea for them. While Harry was walking around Tescos’ with Niall his phone buzzed in his pocket. He had a feeling he knew who it was, he took his phone out and swiped the screen.

He read the text from Louis, _‘XXXXX’_ Harry smiled at his phone and Niall saw and took it out of his hand and read the text. Niall laughed and put the phone back into Harrys’ hand.

Harry typed back a text to Louis, _‘See you soon :):)XXX’_

They finished choosing the variety of food, Harry hadn’t decided yet what he would cook. They paid and carried the bags back to the car.

Back at Harrys’ Niall and Harry carried the bags into the building and saw the other three sat in the foyer. They stood when they saw Niall and Harry walk in and the five of them went up to Harrys’ flat. Louis and Zayn both hadn’t been there before and were looking around, taking it all in. Harry and Niall took the groceries into the kitchen and Harry started to unpack them.

The others all stood in the dining area off the kitchen and Louis came in and stood with his back to the bench watching Harry. When Harry had put away all the food he looked at Louis.

“How about we make pizza for tea?” Harry said already getting out two pizza trays from the cupboard.

“Sounds yummy.” Louis said and Harry looked at him fondly. Harry could hear Niall in the lounge room talking to Liam and Zayn while they turned on the TV, it was just Louis and Harry in the kitchen. “I’ll give you fair warning though, I am not good at cooking.”

“Ok, that’s noted.” Harry said and gave Louis a container of flour and some measuring cups, and then Harry got a bowl out and gave it to him.

Harry told Louis what to do and helped him with things he didn’t know how to do. They worked well together and Harry liked having Louis in the kitchen with him. They finished making the dough and rolled it out and put it on the trays. They quickly finished putting the toppings on and put the pizzas in the oven.

Then Harry and Louis joined the other three in the lounge room. Niall was on the floor in front of the lounge a controller in his hand and Liam was sat in an arm chair with the other controller, Zayn on the lounge. Louis sat beside Zayn and Harry sat beside Louis.

“I made some brilliant pizzas.” Louis said to Zayn.

“Is that right?” Zayn said and then looked around Louis to Harry. “He hardly ever cooks, I think you’ve just witnessed something very special and rare.” Harry laughed and so did Louis.

“Shut it Zayn.” Louis said and Zayn put his arm around Louis’ shoulders and pushed him back further into the lounge and Louis let him.

“I hope you boys are watching because I’m about to win.” Niall said from the floor.

Zayn let go of Louis and let him sit up. They watched the screen and then Niall was triumphant. Zayn got up and went over to sit on Liam on the arm chair.

“Good game.” Liam said from under Zayn.

They turned on the TV then and watched some show until Harry heard the oven timer. Harry got up and went into the kitchen to check the pizza. He took them out of the oven and cut them into slices and let them sit while he got some plates and some placemats for the pizzas to sit on. Then he carried the placemats and the plates, cutlery and serviettes into the lounge room and sat them on the coffee table. Then he went back to the kitchen with Louis who had got up to help and the two of them carried back the pizza and some glasses of water.

When they were all sitting down they took some slices and ate. Harry was sat beside Louis and he kept bumping his knee into Harrys,’ making Harry smile. When they were finished eating Harry took everything back to the kitchen, washed up and turned off the light. Then he went back to the lounge room with the others.

“Should we watch a film Harold?” Louis asked.

Harry sat beside him and nodded. Niall got up and went over to the drawer where Harry kept the DVD’s. He picked three and held them up for the others to vote on. Harry really had no preference and let the others decide. They chose one and Niall put it on. Harry was sat beside Louis, both of them snuggled together, Niall was sat on the floor leaning on Harrys’ legs and Liam and Zayn were curled up on the arm chair.

Towards the end of the film Harry was really tired and found it hard to keep his eyes open. When the end credits came up Harry looked around at the others and saw they too looked tired. Harry got up and turned off the TV.

“You can all stay here tonight if you want to.” Harry said. “Liam and Zayn, you can sleep in my spare room and Niall, you can have the lounge?”

“Sounds good to me.” Niall said standing up.

“What about me?” Louis said from the lounge. Harry looked at him fondly.

“You can sleep in my bed, with me.” Louis smiled like he was hoping Harry would say that.

The four of them all followed Harry out of the lounge room and Harry turned off the light. Harry gave them all different coloured tooth brushes and told them they could have a shower if they wanted to, then Harry left them to it. He and Louis went back to Harrys’ room, which had an en suite.

“It’s like we’re back at Giggleswick isn’t it?” Louis said as he sat on the end of the bed.

“You can even have the same side as then.” Harry said. The truth was that he’d been sleeping on the same side as what he’d done at Giggleswick since then, and he’d imagine Louis was beside him.

Harry went to have a shower first and then Louis went in. When Louis came out he was just wearing his pants and Harry pulled back the blankets for him, and Louis got in.

“It’s nice isn’t it?” Louis said.

Harry looked over at Louis and smiled, it was very nice. Louis lay down and Harry turned off his bedside light and lay down too. They lay close together in the middle of the bed in the dark, Harry was on his side and he reached out his hand and put it around Louis’ waist. Louis moved a bit closer and put his hand over Harrys.’

“Sharing a bed with you was one of the best parts of Giggleswick.” Harry said.

“And I thought it was all the learning.” Louis said and Harry gently squeezed Louis’ waist. “My favourite part was sharing a bed with you too.” Louis admitted.

Harry let his eyes close and he soon went to sleep.

In the morning when Harrys’ brain woke up he could feel a warm body next to his and he smiled. He had wanted this for so long. He looked over at the beautiful sleeping boy beside him. They were snuggled together, it seemed their bodies hadn’t forgotten how to do that in their sleep despite how long ago it was that they’d done that.

Harry lay still, having nowhere to be yet, no where else he wanted to be then here with Louis asleep beside him.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't copy, that's not nice. (Plagiarism is bad)  
> All song lyrics are my own original lyrics.  
> This is fiction, none of it happened.

Harry, Louis, and Liam walked in to the studio later the morning after Harry had had the four of them stay the night. Niall had been picked up for training and Zayn had somewhere else to be and would be at the studio later to finish his drawing for the two single artworks and show them to Ashton.

Liam and Harry would be recording their vocals for the song they wrote the day before, ‘Inevitable love’ that day and then Harrys’ work would be over until the tour started in less than two weeks. The three of them walked into the room they’d been using and they sat on the lounge talking until Nick came and got Liam.

“I have to go too babe.” Louis said to Harry. "Now that the two songs are written I have to do some other things."

“Boo.” Harry said.

“I know, but I’ll probably be finished by the time you are and we can do something.” Harry smiled and Louis left the room.

Harry got up and walked over to where the guitars were and picked one up. He sat back down on the lounge and started playing and kept playing until Nick came and got him when it was time for him to do his recording. In the recording room Harry sang his parts and again, he was thinking about Louis, but unlike last time, they were nice things.

Harry liked this song and it showed again that there was something bigger than them wanting them together. When Nick said they were finished Harry left the recording room and went back to the other room. Liam had already left, he had rehearsal things to do before the tour. Louis was playing the keyboard when Harry walked in and he went over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

“Are you finished with your work babe?” Harry asked.

“Yep, are you finished with recording?” Louis asked. Harry nodded and Louis stopped playing and turned off the key board. “I saw Zayn while you were recording, he showed me the art and it looks amazing, he’s shown Ashton and that’s done now. He has other stuff to do today so it’s you and me.”

“That sounds good.” Harry said. “I get you all to myself. What should we do today?”

“How about we go to the park and play football?” Harry took Louis’ hand and they walked out of the room.

“Ok, but fair warning, I am not good at football.”

“Ok, that’s noted.” Louis said and they both laughed.

They walked out to the car park and decided that Louis would follow Harry back to his flat and drop off his car and then they’d go back to Louis’ flat together and get the football. So that’s what they did. When Harry was sat in the passenger seat of Louis’ car and driving down the street to Louis’ flat, there were a few rain drops on the wind screen. They got to Louis’ flat and Harry stayed in the car while Louis went inside. He came out not long later carrying a football and he got back in the car, giving the ball to Harry.

When they got to the park Louis looked out the window at the grass and said he came here quite a lot to kick the ball around when he wanted to get some fresh air. They got out of the car and walked across the grass, the brown autumn leaves crunching as they trod on them.

“I’ll go in goal and you can try and get goals.” Louis said and went and stood between the posts.

Harry sat the ball on the grass and started dribbling it closer and then kicked it towards the goal. Louis saved it and then out of nowhere it started to pour down rain.

Harry and Louis looked at each other and laughed. They ran to each other, Louis holding the ball. Louis held out his free hand and Harry took it and together they ran back to Louis’ car. When they were back inside the car out of the rain Harry wiped his face with his hand and looked at Louis, they were both saturated.

“Let’s go back to mine instead.” Louis said and Harry agreed.

When they got back to Louis’ they stripped off their wet clothes and Louis gave Harry some track suit pants and a jumper to put on. They sat wrapped in blankets on either end of the lounge facing each other, Louis with a bowl of blackberries in his lap.

Louis thought it would be fun to try and throw them into Harrys’ open mouth. So far probably half of his attempts had gone in, the others Harry had to pick up from the blanket and eat himself.

“You know, if any of these blackberries burst, they’ll leave a stain.” Harry said. Louis just shrugged.

“I suppose I’ll just deal with that if it happens. You’ll just have to make sure none fall on the lounge or the blankets.” Louis said with a smirk.

“Ha! You’ll have to have a super-accurate aim every time.” Harry said grinning fondly at the other boy.

Louis picked up a blackberry and scooted closer to Harry on the lounge and put it straight into Harrys’ mouth.

“I can’t miss this way.” Louis said and Harry pulled him in for a kiss. When they separated Harry said,

“Are you going to eat any, or am I going to be the only one?” Harry said. Louis didn’t answer, he just picked up a blackberry in his fingers and put it in his mouth, all the while his eyes in Harrys.’

Harry just smiled and when they had had enough of the blackberries Louis put the bowl on the coffee table and they sat and chatted while it rained outside.

 

Harry walked into the studio a few days later on Friday after getting a phone call from Paul saying he had a meeting today about the tour. Harry made his way to the meeting room feeling excited about the tour, it would start in a week.

When he walked in he saw Liam was already there and by a weird instinct Harry looked at the spot Louis had been sat nearly a fortnight ago. He made his eyes leave the spot and greeted Ashton, Perrie and the musical director. Harry sat beside Liam and heard the plans for the tour.

There would be nineteen shows and the UK tour would last for nearly two months, finishing about five days before Christmas. They were given the tour cities and dates and Harry looked down the list, they were places that Harry had played at earlier that year and he felt a familiar excitement that he would get before a tour started.

Liam was going to rehearsals every day and Harry would join him starting tomorrow so they could practice their two songs. Harry really didn’t have much to do on the tour besides going on stage for the two songs but he was looking forward to watching Liam every night. He started to think about what it would be like if he invited Louis along. They could both hang about back stage and sit in the crowd together. He liked the idea of that and decided he would ask Louis.

At the end of the meeting Liam and Harry walked out together and Harry told Liam that he was going to invite Louis and Liam said he had just thought that morning that he would invite Zayn. Then Harry thought that it would be fun if the five of them were to go, he knew that Niall would have training but he would probably be able to come to a few shows.

Ed, Jesy and Jade had all come to Harrys’ London and Manchester shows earlier that year and he thought he would ring them and invite them to these shows too. He had kept in contact with the three of them and Ed was doing well too. He had been touring the UK and he too was friends with Liam. Harry was excited for this to begin.

Two days later on Monday, Harry arrived at the studio warehouse where Liam had been rehearsing. Harry looked around and smiled at Liams’ staging. Liam was stood in the middle of the stage with the director and Harry went over, carrying his guitar in its case, and joined them.Liams’ band was behind him and it made Harry think of Jon and Sandy and he thought he would invite them along to the shows too.

When the director and Liam had finished talking Harry was included in the conversation and it was decided that for _‘Us’_ Harry would be sat on a stool in a spotlight with his guitar and Liam would be sat on another stool a bit of a distance away in another spotlight, the rest of the stage dark. It would have a sad, haunting feel to it, and kind of angsty.

For _‘Inevitable love’_ Harry wouldn’t play his guitar and the two of them would move around the stage however they wanted. _‘Inevitable love’_ was more a pop song and more happy, so more fun.

Harry sat on a stool and tuned his guitar and then they ran through the song. Harry had been practicing the songs in his flat and he’d learned the words. Every time he sang the words he would remember the days they wrote them. He thought it could only be a good thing for him to feel what the song was about when he was on stage, even though it was a bit painful.

After the first rehearsal with Liam, Harry went outside to his car and as he walked he pulled out his phone to text Louis.

He wrote, _‘I’ve just finished rehearsals, do you want to come to mine tonight? XXX’_

He got a reply back when he was sat in his car, he read the text, _‘Yes :) See you soon love XXX’_

Harry smiled and put his phone on the front passenger seat and drove home.

Once he was home he stood in his kitchen, wondering what to make for tea. He had just boiled the jug to make some tea when Louis came in. He put his arms around Harrys’ middle from behind and snuggled into Harrys’ back.

“It’s been too long.” Louis said and didn’t move. Harry put his hands over Louis’ arms and loosened his arms so he could turn around to face him.

“Yes, too long.” Harry agreed. They both heard the jug finish boiling and Harry walked over to the bench and got down some cups from the cupboard and Louis’ favourite Yorkshire tea.

They stood in the kitchen and drank their tea leaning on the bench and talked about their days. When Harry had finished his, he had decided to make spaghetti bolognase.

He went about making that while Louis talked to him. When it was cooked they both sat at the table and Louis smiled at him.

“I’m so lucky to have you H.” Louis said. “You are so good, and a good cook.” Harry smiled back at him.

“I’m lucky to have you too.” Harry said and they both started eating. “Do you want to go on Liams’ tour with me? I want you too.” The smile on Louis’ face was big and it made Harry smile big too.

“I would H, yes!” Louis said and they both just sat and smiled at each other for a moment.

Harry felt like his heart was so full, it would burst. They continued eating and when they were finished Harry took their plates to the kitchen and started washing up. Louis was talking about what they could do on the tour, what trouble they could make and Harry was not quite certain which things Louis was serious about.

Harry finished washing up and the two of them went into the lounge room and sat together on the lounge, watching TV. Sometime later when it was late Harry asked Louis to stay the night and Louis said yes. Having Louis in his flat felt so right.

Later that night when they had finished brushing their teeth, Louis put his tooth brush next to Harrys’ and that looked so right too.

The rest of that week before the tour went by quickly, filled with rehearsals and meetings. Paul had booked Harrys,’ Nialls,’ Louis’ and Zayns’ flights and then it was time for Harry to pack.

He had a different feeling inside compared to when he had packed earlier that year for his own tour. Back then he had felt used to the niggling unhappy feeling, but it was when he was leaving London, that he felt like he was leaving Louis. It was an illogical feeling because he hadn’t known where Louis lived, it was just that when he was getting ready to leave, it was like Louis was in the flat with him and when he walked out the door, he’d be saying good bye to Louis.

This time though, Louis was coming with him, Louis was in his life again and Louis was his boyfriend, who loved him back.

The first show was in London at the O2 Arena and Louis, Niall and Harry sat backstage in Liams’ dressing room. Niall was able to come to the show that night, being in the city that he lived.

Niall and Louis were mucking around with some of the other people back there and Harry sat watching them. He would be going on stage around the middle of Liams’ set, they would play both songs and then Harry would be finished. Louis and Niall would be taken out to their seats just before Harry went on stage so they could watch from the audience. Zayn, Ed, Jesy, Jade and Stan were there too.

Someone came to the dressing room not long later to get Louis and Niall and Harry sat with his guitar on the armrest of the lounge. He felt excited and when someone came to get him he was ready.

He stood just off stage and the screams and noise from the crowd was loud, it made Harry smile. He was fitted with a mic, and in-ears and he heard Liam introduce him, this being the first show, was the first time the fans heard that Harry would be performing that night. There was a massive happiness coming from the fans and then someone told him it was time to go out on stage.

They would be singing _‘Us’_ first and the stage was already dark when Harry stepped out on to it. He walked over to his stool in the spotlight and looked over to where Liam was and was just able to see him, Liam gave him a thumbs-up and Harry did the same back.

Harry sat down and held the pick between his fingers, he could feel his pointer finger on his right hand hurting and he didn’t know why it was hurting. He ignored it and he started playing. He felt the crowd listening to every word of this new song and he knew that by the end of the tour the fans would know these two songs and they’d be singing the words back to them.

He thought about that afternoon in the music room at Giggleswick with Ed, Jon, and Sandy, how he had said that having the fans singing the words he’d written back to him would be so good and he smiled, trying not to show it for the song.

His finger kept hurting and when the song was over and someone had come over to him and taken his guitar and the stool he looked down at his finger and couldn’t see any visible reason for it to be hurting. He put it out of his mind and went over to Liam and put his arm around him. Liam was talking to the crowd and said that the next song was for two people that were very special to the two of them.

Harry was beaming and he looked out at the first few rows of fans, the faces he could see.

They sang _‘Inevitable love’_ and Harry felt so much energy inside him. When the song ended he went off stage and someone took his mic and in-ears off and Harry was taken to the seats where Louis and Niall were.

They couldn’t bring too much attention to themselves but Louis and Niall both hugged him and the others all gave him a thumbs-up. They sat and watched the rest of Liams’ set and just before it finished the eight of them were taken back to the dressing room.

When they were back in the room they all got very loud.

“I am so proud of you sugar plum.” Ed said hugging him.

“You were brilliant.” Jade said kissed him on the cheek.

“Ace.” Jesy said and kissed him too. Stan congratulated him and hugged him too and then turned to Louis.

“How’s your finger Lou?” Stan asked. Louis held up his finger and said it was feeling a bit better. Harry looked a bit startled.

“What happened to your finger?” Harry asked looking at Louis.

“I banged it on one of the seats before we sat down.” Louis said.

“He made a right noise too, people were looking.” Stan said.

“It really hurt!” Harry said and Stan and Louis both looked at him.

“How do you know?” Louis asked curiously. Harry looked at them a bit shy.

“When I got on stage my pointer finger, at the first knuckle started hurting.” Louis held up his right hand, and they could all see the first knuckle on his pointer finger had the beginnings of a bruise. Louis looked up at Harry looking bewildered. “After the first song, I looked at my finger and couldn’t see anything wrong with it.” Harry continued. The other two looked at him stunned.

“You two are really weird.” Stan said finally, in awe. “That is really weird.”

Harry and Louis looked at each other and Louis put his arm around Harrys’ waist pulling him close.

Liam came in then and Zayn ran to him to hug him. Liam was beaming and they all went over to him to congratulate him.

++++  
Louis had been to all the shows so far on Liams’ tour and now it was the night of the last one. The show was in Manchester and his Mum, step dad Dan, and his sisters were all there and so was Harrys’ family. Jon and Sandy were there too. Louis was sat with them all, sitting beside his mum.

The fans around them were loud and Louis spent a lot of time watching them. Some were holding signs that they’d made, some were crying, some looked over whelmed and he could feel their excitement. When Liam introduced Harry, the fans got louder and Louis’ heart felt so proud. They were excited to see Harry, some had signs that they’d made for Harry even though it was Liams’ show.

These dedicated, happy fans were going to be able to hear one of their favourite artists sing and he felt happy for them.

Harry sat down on his stool, holding his guitar and looked out into the arena. Louis felt like he was going to burst. Liam and Harry both started to sing the chorus of _‘Us’_ and Louis could hear the fans sing along, voices coming from all over the arena.

The song was a sad, angry one, one that he and Harry had written from a bad place but hearing all these voices around him, and Harrys’ voice sing the words made Louis feel like he was part of something big. Some of these fans might be going through what Harry and he had gone through.

He heard his Mums’ voice in his head say ‘Why can’t he belong to you too?’ He knew now that Harry could belong to him too, that he did belong to Louis.

In this moment, he was a fan, sat with all the other fans, but later he would meet Harry back stage and go home with him. Louis could enjoy Harry on stage and when he was off stage. Just because Harry meant so much to all these fans didn’t mean that Harry couldn’t have just one person.

Louis felt so lucky that that one person was him.

After the show Louis and Harry were in Louis’ car and they were driving back to Doncaster where they would stay for a few days. Louis’ family had already left and Louis and Harry would meet them back at home.

It had begun to snow and it drifted down looking pretty in the headlights.

When Louis’ pulled up at his familys’ home it was late. Louis and Harry got their bags from the boot and walked in the front door quietly, the girls were already in bed.

Jay met them in the hallway and hugged them both. She led them to the kitchen where she made them some tea. Dan was there too and they sat at the table and talked, getting to know Harry a bit. It was really late then and Jay took their empty cups to the sink and Dan left to go to bed.

“Come on H, lets’ go to bed.” Louis said. They said good night to Jay and Harry and Louis picked up their bags and Harry followed Louis. “This is my room, we can share can’t we?” Louis asked. Harry nodded and kissed Louis’ lips. Louis showed Harry the bathroom and while Harry was having a shower Louis decided to go and find his mum, he wanted to talk to her.

Jay was still in the kitchen and she looked up when Louis walked in.

“Everything alright?” Jay asked. Louis nodded and joined Jay standing at the bench.

“Mum, I think you must be psychic.” Louis said and Jay looked at him amused. “You said, ‘I’m sure everything will work out,’ that evening at Giggleswick, the first one back when I was starting U6 form. Do you remember that?” Louis asked. Jay looked at him smiling and Louis continued, “When I didn’t get a room in Paley and was told to go over to Nowell for the night, I was really angry. But meeting Harry that evening was the best thing, so you were right. Everything did work out, everything worked out so well.”

“I knew it would.” Jay said and hugged him, pulling him in close and Louis hugged her back tight too. When he pulled away they both smiled and Jay told him he needed to get to bed.

Louis went back to his room and saw Harry was finished in the shower and was sat in his bed, his phone in his hand. Louis smiled at him when he looked up and told him he’d be in the shower. Then Louis went to the bathroom.

 

++++  
Harry sat in Louis’ bed with his phone, he was texting his mum even though it was so late. He had told her that they’d got to Louis’ familys’ house ok and she told him how proud she was of him, not just for the show that night, but for being such a good lad.

Harry smiled and typed, _‘Good night, I love you XXXX’_

Then Anne wrote back, _‘Good night sweet heart, I love you too. XXXXX.’_

Harry put his phone on his bedside table and then turned on the bedside light, then he got up and turned the other light off. He lay down in Louis’ soft bed, that smelled like the beautiful boy.

Not long later Louis came back to the room all clean and hopped into bed beside Harry. Harry turned off the bedside light and the two of them snuggled up in the middle of the bed, their arms around each other. Harry could feel Louis’ soft skin against his own and the soft weight against him. He felt himself get more tired and he breathed Louis in.

“Don’t let me go.” Harry said softly, sleep in his voice.

“I don’t think I even could.” Louis said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so my first fan-fic. I hope you liked it.  
> XO


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